Friday, August 15, 2008

For Those Who Give a Tweet

WARNING: If you're one of the men involved in my Four Man Plan, you may not want to continue reading. And, if you do, you may not want to continue to participate. Either way, I thank you for being here for me.

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that there are many things left unsaid that would take me many more than 140 characters to explain.
I'll answer the recent questions here.

If you don't give a tweet, skip on back to read my review of The Four Man Plan before returning to this post.

by Cindy Lu

Back to The Four Man Plan: A Romantic Science and how I've implemented the plan into my life. You see, back in February, I read the book for the first time and thought to myself, I already do these things, and my life continued with no major changes on my part, or so I thought.

Little did I know that I was implementing elements from the book by simply changing the way I viewed each relationship. The Four Man Plan is amazing. Truly.

Currently, I do have men in my life that fill my needs, each catering to a different need that I have. There's one that supports me and helps me financially, due to the fact that I am the mother of his child. Then there's another man who I am having an emotional affair with. We communicate several times a day (he's several states away). He is the one man in my life whom I truly love (in every sense of the word). I have someone in my life who fulfills my physical needs (you know exactly what this means!) and yet another who is my drinking buddy. We watch bad Reality TV together and bitch about the state of our nation. We also get into political discussions, but then again, I have those discussions with just about anyone.

UPDATE: The drinking buddy mentioned above has been eliminated. Read comments below to learn about his replacement.

The point of The Four Man Plan is to give yourself more options in life. And by options, I mean men. Dating one person at one time (in my opinion) does nothing other than provide you with a false sense of security. You become attached to one another and even if that person is only filling half your needs, you feel content. Meanwhile, your other needs are being neglected until one day you finally realize what's been missing and you both end up with heartache and ugly feelings which cause you to drift apart.

Before you make any judgments, I have to say that I was a bit unclear at first about the idea of "dating" four men at one time. The thing with my situation is that I'm not really dating anyone right now. I have four very unique relationships with four very unique individuals who happen to be men. The fact that they know about one another (for the most part) makes it that much more enjoyable. I don't have to worry about my reputation because there is nothing going on that I can't tell my mom about (she's my number one reader here after all - Hi Mom!).

If you're married or in a committed relationship, then this might not work for you. Although you never know. If your partner trusts you and you trust him/her, why not pick up this book and read it together? I'm not talking about an open marriage, of course, where each person is "allowed" to have sex with other people. I'm talking about having friends and companions of the opposite sex while having nothing to do with sex at all.

Having a small, yet tight-knit circle of friends is great. What's more amazing is when you can free yourself by allowing others in and have separate groups of friends from different walks of life that you can relate to.

There are many of you reading this that are saying to yourself, "Duh, I have friends like this already." I applaud those of you who may have a strong and trusting relationship that allows for these types of friendships to exist. Sadly, many do not.

Getting to the point, finally, I want to reiterate the fact that we all have different - and many - needs. There are some people in our lives that are not capable of ever fulfilling them, or are not willing to try. So, again, this is where the idea comes from that having different people in your life who play different roles can be inspiring, exciting and satisfying.

The lucky ones - and there are many - will find that one person who can fulfill every desire. Of course, the purpose of The Four Man Plan, is to narrow down the prospects so you can find that one person who is willing and able to satisfy your every desire.

I encourage everyone who is currently single to implement this plan.

Good luck and have fun!


Mike said...

I'm hurt :(

I thought our new relationship warranted a mention. I know its only been a week, but you have seen my stuff and seemed to like it. Did you just say you liked it to spare my feelings? If not, why haven't you mentioned me?


HIP_M0M said...

My Dearest Michael,

After recent experiences that shall be left to discuss elsewhere, I have no choice but to replace one of the previous participants. I'm pleased to inform you that you have earned that position!

The Four Man Plan now includes you - my tweeting buddy, web designer and devoted sharer of lottery ticket winnings!

Welcome to the club!

Mike said...

You like me! You really like me! :)

HIP_M0M said...

No flowers necessary...unless they're yellow and rhyme with poses. ; )

Jessica said...

I LOVE IT! Granted I'm in a relationship but this makes perfect sense! I will have to read that book! Thanks for the great read!

Anonymous said...

Not only does this make sense but I'm kind of elated right now that my husband really does fill all four of those pairs of shoes :)

But oh do I remember the single days BEFORE him - let's NOT go back there, shall we?

HIP_M0M said...


I'm glad you like the sound of the Man Plan (as I often refer to it).

Let me know what you think after you've read it!

Hiding in Plain Sight said...

Interesting concept....

I have a No Man Plan. I'm just in regrouping mode here, and have been for about a year. However, when I finally do get back to considering having any kind of relationships at all, I will read this book.

HIP_M0M said...

Sometimes having a No Man Plan is the best way for you to refocus and discover what it is you want and need before diving into the dating scene.

Having a great support system of female friends is vital too. I'm looking forward to my monthly Mom's Night In session this evening where we will drink, gamble and laugh our asses off!

HIP_M0M said...

mommablogsalot -

I'm so glad that you took the time to comment here and share your success! It's great when people find someone like you (and your husband) have.

I have three very good friends getting married this year, and I'm so thrilled that they have taken the time to discover themselves before jumping into marriage.

I married (and divorced) quite young and am now taking the time for myself, and to have fun playing and learning (from my mistakes)!

4ManPlanner said...

Hi Hip Mom!

It's Cindy Lu, author of the Four Man Plan! Thanks for the props. I love the way you shaped the Plan to create your current contentment. That was my goal, to give women something to work with to take the angst out of their love lives and just enjoy relationships while loving themselves first. If they find ONE to keep, great, if not, why not experience loving with each person? You set a great example.

We also have a fun site and forum,, where 4MPlanner's blog and get advice from others and myself.

If you ever want an interview so we can help tailor the Plan for single moms, let me know!

Best to you,

HIP_M0M said...


Thanks for stopping by. I'd love to discuss a tailor made plan for single moms (and Dads). I look forward to learning more and helping others find happiness and success with the Plan!

My readers seem to be enjoying the ideas behind the book so I know they'd love your insight and the comments found over at the forum.

Thanks again!

Laurel said...

This is awesome - thx for sharing! I've never heard "the man plan" put into words like this & I will have to check the book out!!...Like today!! lol - I've never believed one person could truly fulfill all of a woman's needs - or vice versa - there's not enough time in the day. But everyone want's to talk about "cheating" etc. as it is this taboo thing. Take what you need & enjoy life!! lol!! My aunt always said, I don't know why they arrest prostitutes, they're just saving the wives from an extra duty ;)lol - Not saying this applies to all people or relationships - but I think more & more it applies to mine :)

HIP_M0M said...

Laurel -

Thanks for your comments. I completely agree and I know that this book will help you since it helped me!

Cindy, the author of The Four Man Plan is now married after successfully "graduating" from The Plan.

She does, however, block out time in her life for other things and other people (including men who don't jeopardize her relationship with her husband).

Cindy and I are going to be discussing ways to cater this plan to single parents.

For those of you who have less time to date (like me), be sure to subscribe to the blog via RSS, email or text messaging so you don't miss out on my upcoming interview with Cindy!

Anonymous said...

Hey Sondra... of course i haven't read the book or your review... but just seeing this post and reading the thread makes me wonder how reading this book with my spouse would be helpful as an element of continuing to keep those lines of communication open. I'd be thrilled if my wife had more guy friends so she could see that friendship with the opposite sex doesn't automatically = sex or desire for it.

what r ur thoughts? good idea, bad idea, inviting trouble? seems cool to me... but u know me and my open-minded perspective on the world... hard for me to understand life from the close-minded perspectives.

>little guy

HIP_M0M said...

little guy,

If I were you, I'd suggest that your wife read this post and feel her out as far as what she thinks of the idea of incorporating other people into your lives besides the two of you and your children.

The main component of The Four Man Plan that people need to understand is that the participant is only allowed to be sexual with one man in The Plan...the others fill different needs in the woman's life other than physical ones.

I don't know if that helps but you should also send your wife over to the forum found at FourManPlan if she's interested in learning how she can benefit from creating a Plan of her own.