Mother & Daughter Reunion

I spent the day in Detroit on Monday at the GM Product & Technology event with several friends and met some new people who I look forward to connecting with again.

Sugar Jones invited her daughter to be there as her guest and it was so much fun to see the two of them together since it was my first time meeting the eldest of her children. I watched them interact throughout the day, laughing with each other (sometimes at each other) and I was amazed and touched by the two of them and how they just kept smiling the entire time.

My mom is far away, although I see her and the rest of my family as often as I can, but it just occurred to me - while watching Sugar and her daughter - that I would love to have a mother/daughter relationship like that someday too (a daughter of my own, I mean).

This morning, I found out that one of my pregnant friends is having a girl. She is so excited about the idea of going shopping with her someday, or getting a manicure and seeing "girly" movies together when she's older.

I think about having a second child often. Of course, it's not something that will happen anytime soon, but seeing the mother & daughters together that I know, and spending time with my own mom really encourages that craving, once again.

And then suddenly I recall how very awful I was as a daughter - hormonal, emotional and so, so bitchy. I don't know how my mother ever put up with me. Which only means that if I have another boy, I'll be just as happy.

All parent/child relationships are unique. Some better than others, but I've learned so much from my son, so far, that I can't help but want at least one more.

I can't imagine falling in love with another human being as much as I love my son, but I think it's fair to say that there's enough to go around.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Now what? What's next? Where do we go from here? These are the questions I asked myself as I sat crying in the airport after saying goodbye to the man I spent the last five days with. The man I gave my heart to years ago. The conversations and moments that we shared were long overdue but perfect in every way. Except for the sunburn.

I thought about sharing every detail here and relive the exact moment when we made that next step, the words that we spoke, the way he tasted and felt, but I also want to keep the memory of these events in a special place - between the two of us. Because it was a very special occasion, consummating our relationship after being friends (with much sexual tension between us) for fifteen years. Not that I've been keeping track or anything...

He got the approval from my friends and my son but now he's gone. The five days went by so quickly and now it's a big reality check for the both of us and I'm back to the same questions that I do not know the answers to just yet. What's next? Where do we go from here?

Lady in Waiting

Dating while having a young son is a little challenging at times. He hears things (overhears things) and is exposed to conversations that give him a tiny bit of insight about how it all works.

I have a male friend coming in town tonight. My son asked me earlier if I have a crush on him. The question startled me, and I couldn't help but smile, and I know he assumed this meant 'yes.'

When I asked him to explain what it meant to have a crush, he said, "It's when you like someone."

"Then, yes, I suppose I do have a crush on him."

Seconds later he asked if there was going to be more boys or girls tonight. I assume he meant when my friend joins us, so I said, "There's going to be more boys than girls."

I can't even tell you how excited he was when he heard that. In a celebratory tone he stated, "I have a crush on him too, then." See, he's still in that phase of thinking that girls have cooties and he can only be friends with other boys.

I so want him to stay in this stage for a long time, considering how quickly young people grow up these days and get involved in sexual relationships much too early (in my opinion).

But then again, if he's going to learn about dating and what it means to respect, love and treat someone with affection, then I want to be the one to show him that. I want him to continue to ask me questions, because I know that he feels comfortable saying anything, (in front of anyone), no matter how much it embarrasses his mom.

Food & Relationships

I was talking to some of my single mom friends the other day about relationships. This was during lunch, of course, and one of the women - who is a bit older and much wiser - started talking about how we tend to view relationships the same way in which we view food.

Now, I know this sounds crazy but bear with me. She had a good point, in that she tends to eat two big meals a day, starving herself in between and not snacking or thinking about food until her body's ready to have a meltdown. Interestingly enough, her boyfriend lives out of state so she sees him every other weekend, spending time with him 24/7 for those few days before returning to her "normal life" and focusing on what needs to be done here before she's able to see him again.

Others I know tend to eat only at fine restaurants and spend a lot of money on organic foods, not allowing themselves to step foot inside a fast food restaurant or eating diet soda, or anything else unnatural. They know what they want - the finer things in life - and damn it, the men in their lives know it too!

Another friend of mine eats small snacky foods all day, healthy or not. She also likes to date many men at one time, not really ready to commit just yet to a full meal, so to speak.

And then there's me. Now, I have interesting eating habits which change from time to time and that could be also true of the relationships I have. Sometimes, I'll be really healthy and eat foods that are good for me (dating men who bring out my strengths and can recognize who I am) while there have certainly been times in my life where my eating habits have been horrible. Times when I'd eat junk food and drink way too much, and guess what? The men in my life at those times were also not good for me and drank way too much as well.

Nothing's wrong with any of the above scenarios although you can certainly see how some situations are not as good for us as others. We're all different, thank goodness, and needing different things, and people, in our lives. The point here isn't to try to change how you eat or who you date, but to just be aware.

If you're in a healthy relationship and are putting healthy foods into your body, chances are you can see how this affects you. Take a look at your relationships and the way you eat to determine what changes you could make, in either department, to make sure you are treating yourself to the best that's available.

Happy eating!

What Moms Really Think about Grandparents!

A few months back I was asked to provide input for an article that Susan Avery was putting together for Grandparents.com. She asked for my opinion on whether or not my mom or mother-in-law interferes or if I could offer some general advice for grandparents.

I was happy to share my two cents, which appears in her slide show, along with over a dozen other suggestions from some pretty amazing Mommy Bloggers.

Here's a list of the bloggers who are included in the slide show and whom I am honored to be listed alongside:

• Tara Mandy from Stroller Traffic
• Michelle Little from One Chic Mama
• Valerie Gray from Mom Knows it All
• Ada Calhoun from Babble
• Sue Waite-Langley from Creative Tutors
• Kimberly Coleman from Mom in the City
• Ashley Sanders from Boss Sanders
• Cheryl Lage from Twinfatuation
• Deb Steenhagen from Mom of 3 Girls
• Diane Kidman from dk Mommy Spot
• Jennifer Singer from Momma Said
• Glennia Campbell from The Silent T
• Debbie Arora from Missives from Suburbia
• Anna Fader from Mommy Poppins
• Dawn Yun from The Writing Mamas Salon
• Carissa Rogers from Good N Crazy
• Jill Smokler from Scary Mommy
• Kim Kotecki from Kim & Jason Escape Adulthood
• Jo-Lynne Shane from Musings of a Housewife
• Debbie Abrams Kaplan from frisco kids
• Holli Gould from Life is What You Make It
• Maggie Cheung from Mighty Maggie
• Michele Dortch from The Integrated Mother
• Heather L. Sanders from Oh My Stinkin Heck
  

Some highlights from the advice to grandparents (in my opinion):

Don't poo-poo your kid's parenting rules, especially when it comes to safety. While you likely did a fine job raising children without such modern gadgets as car seats, door gates, and electrical outlet covers, your kids are relying on solid modern data — and in some cases, laws — to make their safety decisions. And frankly, they're just trying to do what they think is right for your grandchildren.

The grandparents want to send cash in an envelope for a 7-year-old's birthday. This is like a non-gift to a kid. Instead? Schedule an afternoon, just grandma and granddaughter. Go get a milk shake. Nothing else. Just time.

Grandparents, be young again with your grandkids. Get on the floor and roll around with them, even if you need help getting back up. If you're in a wheelchair, take them for rides! You don't have to spend a lot of money to make memories. Play checkers. Bake cookies. Go fishing. Read stories. Dress up. Catch fireflies. Eat ice cream. Let your grandkids see the silliest parts of you.

All I really want from you is the opportunity to nap. Just come over, take control of your grandchildren and send me to my room. That's truly all I want from you.

Now, my advice to you, after reading this: Go call your grandparents.

Become Your Own Matchmaker

The other night, I caught a marathon of the Millionaire Matchmaker, which is one of the best shows out there. Bravo hosts some great TV, from the Flippin' Out crew to the Real Housewives of NYC, Orange County and Atlanta, but Patti Stanger is my personal favorite. I couldn't wait to get to the bookstore today to pick up her new book, Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate, which she co-wrote with Lisa Johnson Mandell.

Without giving away too much of the book, I do want to share some great quotes that I pulled from Stanger. She's a very successful, beautiful and smart individual. Listen up!

“As soon as you say, ‘I’m not going to date for a while,’ the bus unloads. Don’t go out with them, but make sure you take reservations. Remember, the best restaurants are booked weeks in advance, why not you? You’re worth waiting for.”


“Think of yourself as a great wine – you’re only getting better and more valuable with age. When the right occasion comes along and that wine is uncorked, it will be the best, most delicious nectar the lucky partaker has ever experienced. But that will only happen if happiness is a major ingredient.”


“If you feel sexy, you’re more inclined to look sexy. Sexy is a confident, fun loving, happy, sensuous, approachable state of mind that no man can resist.”

“Don’t think of him as the prize for which you’re competing against hundreds of other women. YOU are the prize, and HE needs to please you just as much as you need to please him.”

Happy Dating!

She Said Yes!

Did you see it? Online readers had the opportunity to witness the live (somewhat) proposal between The Boy and Mommy Pie. She said yes, of course, and followed up on her own blog the following day. Now is the time for us to share exciting proposal stories, offer relationship advice or simply send love to the happy couple.

My ex-husband (aka Mr. X) and I have created some interesting memories together, from our honeymoon in Venice (when a piece of the glass chandelier fell onto our bed in the middle of the night) to our camping trip to Mexico when he proposed.

At the time, Mr. X drove a VW Jetta. It had over a zillion miles on it and was banged up a little bit with several rust spots. It was the perfect car for driving across the border. I had no idea where we were headed, but we had our sleeping bags and a tent with us, along with our warm clothes, his expensive camera and tripod and food to last for the weekend so I knew we were going to have an exciting adventure and romantic time together.

We drove for quite a long time once we reached Mexico and I began to worry that we might be lost when I asked Mr. X if he knew where we were going. He said that directions he got from one of his surfer friends was to take a Left when you see the hand-written sign for "La Playa."

I looked at him to see if he was joking, but when I realized he was completely serious, we drove in silence as the two of us paid close attention to the dirt roads to find the sign. We did find it, and after driving onto a road that was full of speed bumps made of dirt, testing the shocks of the Jetta, nearly banging our heads on the roof with every dip we hit, we finally approached a wooden building where an old man came out and asked us for money to continue down the road.

We gave the man a few dollars to enter "The Beach," although we were heading down a dirt road that didn't look much like a beach to me. We continued downhill, around corners, driving past cactuses and kicking up dirt behind us as we drove about 5 miles an hour for at least a mile and a half. The road curved around to the left and suddenly, the ocean opened up in front of us and a cliff with a large parking lot was in front of us where we parked, made room for our tent and had a private beach, entirely to ourselves.

We set up our tent, got into our bathing suits and followed the dirt path to the edge of the cliff where we found a thick rope which we were able to hold onto as we lowered ourselves down to the beach below.

The water was cold, but there was no one around and with the beautiful background and romantic mood we were in, we ended up having a sexy photo shoot where I ended up taking off my clothes and posing on the sand in front of the large rocks, something I thought I'd never find myself doing. I also never expected to be interrupted by a family with kids running down the beach towards us as I frantically tried to cover myself.

Later that afternoon, we went for a hike to the outer edges of the cliffs, through the cactus trails and heading up the hills and back down. At one point, Mr. X slipped and fell, landing right on top of a cactus, leaving spikes in his rear end that I had to pull out as he complained about the pain. I tried not to laugh but it was truly the funniest thing that has ever happened to me on a romantic getaway (this was before the Italian chandelier incident).

That evening, as the sun was starting to set, we started a bonfire on the cliff, set up our tent and prepared our meal which was pretty hard to do considering the fact that Mr. X neglected to pack anything to start a fire with. A group of surfers showed up that afternoon and parked a bit further down so luckily we were able to borrow a lighter from them!

We had a long and exciting day, walking, hiking, making love and enjoying the beautiful view and fresh air. When it got dark, it was pitch black. I was exhausted so I started to get myself ready for bed, realizing that I needed to wear every single item of clothing I packed since it was getting pretty cold.

I crawled into the tent, changed into some warm clothes, removed my contact lenses and laid down, waiting for Mr. X to join me. He knelt down leaning into the tent, looking for his sweatshirt which he couldn't find. He asked me to reach down by my feet to find it, so I sat up, handed him his sweatshirt and laid back down.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, Mr. X said he had something to show me. I sat up to see him holding open the ring case as he asked me to be his wife. I immediately started to cry and - because I didn't have my contacts in any longer - couldn't even see the ring! Between my tears and the sparkle of the diamonds, I took a deep breath and reached for my glasses so I could see him and the beautiful engagement ring that he was presenting me with.

I was in shock, speechless, and so overwhelmed. I, of course, said yes, and fell asleep that night with a huge smile on my face.

Of course, the story doesn't end there. Sometime while we were sleeping, the wind picked up pretty hard and started shaking the top of our tent pretty badly. We woke up cold, annoyed and unable to sleep through the howling wind and the fact that our tent was just about ready to collapse on top of us.

It was an eventful weekend, one that I will never forget and despite the fact that our marriage didn't work out, it still makes me smile to think about since he is a huge part of my life - and always will be.

Having a child together changes everything. Someday, when our son gets married and has kids, Mr. X and I will be there to watch it all unfold, adding more amazing memories to our history books and once again, falling asleep smiling.

Ditching Mr. Wrong

If you're a single woman looking for a lifelong partner, time is precious. If you want to have children, you have a biological deadline and a lot at stake in finding a suitable man. Even if you don't want kids, who wants to waste time on the journey toward a happy and lasting relationship? Yet too many smart women spend months or even years dating men who are clearly wrong for them.

Ditching Mr. Wrong: How to End a Bad Relationship and Find Mr. Right, a new book by Nicholas Aretakis, is for them. Based on interviews with hundreds of singles about relationships and the dating game, Ditching Mr. Wrong is a wake-up call for women who are ready to take a hard look at their relationships and get rid of boyfriends who will never be Mr. Right.

When you buy Ditching Mr. Wrong between March 25th and March 28th, 2009 from the link below, you will get it at a great discount and receive many gifts and bonuses with it, such as the chance to purchase Nicholas Aretakis's other book, No More Ramen: The 20-Something's Real World Survival Guide: Straight Talk on Jobs, Money, Balance, Life, and More, at half-price, exclusive excerpts and downloadable copies of books. Your purchase will automatically enter you into a drawing to win one of 11 books from renowned authors. Remember, this offer is good only for four days!

VIEW THE PAGE, BUY THE BOOK AND CLAIM YOUR GIFTS!

http://rebeccasreads.com/eParties/BookLaunchAretakisDitchingMrWrong.html

From the Rebeccas Reads review of Ditching Mr. Wrong, by Kam Aures:

"I really believe that "Ditching Mr. Wrong" would be a beneficial read to anyone who is having difficulty in finding "Mr. Right." Aretakis's book is fun to read, and the advice given is sound. The information is presented in a clear, straightforward manner, and I think that all single women out there will find very helpful in aiding their relationship decisions."

Friends with Benefits

I've been enjoying the single life for several years now but I do miss being in a relationship and just last night, and this morning, I was reminded of the many things I miss about having a man in my life:

• Having someone to open jars for me
• Having someone to put my necklace on
  
• Someone to protect me from crazy drunk people when walking downtown on a Saturday night
• Someone to cuddle up on the couch with on movie night
• Someone to start the coffee for me and bring me a hot cup while I'm still in bed
• Having someone to negotiate high-priced items & services, such as major car repairs or electronics
• Having someone to hold the door open for me or place his hand on the small of my back while walking through a crowd
• Someone to drag me to action films so I can have a different perspective on what a good movie really is
• Having someone at home waiting for me when I get home after a long day
• Someone to fall asleep next to and wake up with each morning
• Having someone to cook for (who's not requesting mac & cheese for every meal)
• Having someone hand me a dry towel when there's not one there when I reach for one after my morning shower
• Finding hair in the sink to remind me how lucky I am that I don't have that daily task to worry about
• Someone who calls me before I get home to ask me to pick up something for him on the way
  
• Having someone pump my gas for me and take out the garbage
• Having someone buy me flowers and leave notes for me to find
• Having someone to shop for on Valentine's Day and to pick up little surprises for on any day
• Having a second family to spend holidays and weekends with
• Having someone who shares bites of his steak with me
• Having someone to discuss the daily news with
• Someone who appreciates the little things that make a couple complete
• Having someone to share inside jokes with
  
• Someone who can communicate with me without having to say a word
  

What do you miss about being in a relationship? What do you enjoy about the relationship you're in currently? Be sure to acknowledge your partner for being there for you and ask him what it is about you that puts a smile to his face.

Asking Stupid Questions

Last week, I received a free trial for the mobile service which allows users to text message the KGB Team specific questions that are in need of immediate answers.

At first, I wasn't quite sure what types of questions I would be able to think of, but after I got the hang of it (aka, addicted to the service), I started using it at all times of the day (and night) to answer the weird and wacky questions that came to mind.

Having access to (nearly) immediate and accurate answers was fun and exciting! At times, I treated it like the magic 8-ball, attempting to have my future told to me but the answers KGB provided made me smile and completely made my day!

After a few days of using the service, I asked my son what the one question is that he would like answered. His immediate response: "Why do they say the word 'crap' in the Transformers movie?" Well, I knew this wasn't a question that KGB could answer but I did find out, thanks to the KGB team, that the Transformers movie which came out last summer was rated PG-13 (and not PG like my ex-husband insisted). I was planning on having a little conversation with him about this and the appropriateness (sarcasm) of letting our five-year-old watch it....but my time is valuable and I digress.

To give you an idea about the KGB service and what they can do to help you, or entertain you, here are the list of questions and answers that I asked - and they answered.

Q: Where is the closest public parking lot to Wine Cabana in downtown San Diego?
A: We're very sorry, but every day we get a few questions we can't answer. This is one of them. No Charge. (Apparently, I was mistaken. Wine Cabana is not downtown so no wonder they couldn't help me.)

Q: What is the definition and origin of the word cabana?
A: Cabana is small cabin or tentlike structure for use as bathouse, esp. on beach or by swimming pool.

Q: Which actor played Batman before Christian Bale?
A: The actor who played Batman before Christian Bale was George Clooney in 1997.

Q: What's the name of the TV show starring Anthony Michael Hall?
A: Anthony Michael Hall starred in 2 tv shows in 2007, Final Approach and The Dead Zone. Busy guy!

Q: What is the average temperature in San Diego?
A: The average annual temperature in San Diego is 64.2F. The average temp for the month of Feb. is 58.6F.

Q: Should I move to Denver?
A: You will move when you have packed up your belongings and found a new place to live. Good luck!

Q: What is the world's deadliest creature?
A: The world's most deadliest creature would be the Mosquito. Some mosquito carry the disease Malaria.

Q: Why are the Academy Awards referred to as the Oscars?
A: The root of the name Oscar is contested. One biograpahy of Bette Davis claims that she named the Oscar after her first husband, band leader Harmon Oscar Nelson; one of the earliest mentions in print of the term Oscar dates back to a TIME Magazine article about the 1934 6th Academy Awards. Walt Disney is also quoted as thanking the Academy for his Oscar as early as 1932.

Q: How many iPhones were sold in 2008?
A: Apple sold 10 million iPhones in 2008, surpassing Steve Job's original stated goal.

Q: Who was the first woman to appear topless in a mainstream American film?
A: Annette Kellermann (an Australian swimming champion) in the film A Daughter of the Gods (1916).

Q: What is the secret to a successful marriage?
A: Never assume, compliment more than you criticize, always make time for each other and try to be fair!

Q: Do men who wear a suit and tie to work have more sex than those who don't?
A: Not necessarily. Quite a few women are attracted to the rugged outdoors look. Depends on the woman. (Apparently, KGB is slightly homophobic.)

Q: What is the most monogamous animal?
A: Zoologists now have solid evidence that monogamous pairs of animals are not always sexually exclusive.

Q: What is the most romantic city in the world?
A: Paris, France is the most romantic city in the world. It is a place that you must visit at least once!

Q: Why is the mother not present in fairy tales such as Snow White and Cinderella?
A: Original Grimm's story actually listed Snow White's mother as an evil, jealous mother. Disney changed!

Q: What is the easiest houseplant to take care of?
A: Devil's Ivy, aka Pothos: This plant is hearty at a vast array of light and moisture levels.

Q: Will opened alcohol go bad?
A: Alcohol does spoil when left open. It spoils due to oxidation in the same way fruit spoils. (I immediately threw out the ABSOLUT vodka bottles leftover from New Year's Eve...I typically don't waste alcohol like that...)

Q: Who will win as Best Actor in the 81st Academy Awards?
A: Should Win: Heath Ledger ('The Dark Knight'), Will Win: Heath Ledger (They were right!)

Q: Who will win as Best Actress in the 81st Academy Awards?
A: As the show has not aired yet, but should win = Meryl Streep (Doubt), Will win = Kate Winslet (The Reader). (Interesting...)

Q: When was sushi first introduced to the US mainstream?
A: The 1980s saw an increase in health consciousness, so sushi bars have increased in the United States.

Q: How long has Sean Penn been married to Robin?
A: Sean Penn has been married to Robin Wright Penn since April 27, 1996. They have 2 children together. (Asked as Sean Penn accepted his award for his role in Milk.)

Q: How many calories per day should one have when trying to lose weight?
A: Use the formula to figure it out: women: 655 + (4.3 x weight in pounds) + (4.7 x height in inches) - (4.7 x age in years). (Um, what? You lost me at hello.)

Q: Should I wear red or black?
A: You can wear black all year round. It will make you look slimmer and black never goes out of style.

Q: When is Barack Obama's birthday?
A: Barack Hussein Obama II was born on August 4, 1961 in Honolulu, Hawaii. He is currently 47 years old.

Q: Is [insert man's name] "the one?"
A: Love is the mix of intimacy, passion, and commitment. If you feel these things for [man's name] - then maybe!

Q: What size does Beyonce wear?
A: Beyonce doesn't often share her clothing size but she auctioned two size 6 dresses for charity on Ebay.

Q: How old is Angelina Jolie?
A: Born Angelina Jolie Voight on June 4, 1975. She is 34, an actress and Goodwill Ambassador for the UN.

Q: When is the best time of year to visit Morocco?
A: Best travel time for Morocco is Sept - Oct, March and May. Worst time is July, Aug. It gets up to 104F!

Q: Who created the tooth fairy?
A: The tooth fairy tradition came from ancient folk methods of disposing of lost teeth and superstitions.

Q: How does one become a member of the KGB Team?
A: If you are 18 or older you can log onto kgbkgb.com and take the test to become a kgb Agent. Good luck!

Q: Will I have another child?
A: If you and your partner are trying to conceive you may be having a child soon. Good Luck!

Q: WWJD?
A: WWJD became a popular phrase in the 1990s as a personal motto for thousands of Christians.

Q: What is the best cure for insomnia?
A: Not medical advice. To help insomnia avoid caffeine, have a warm bath and a milky drink before bed.

Q: What is the name of the book by the lead singer of Korn?
A: The book is "Save Me from Myself: How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs & Lived to Tell My Story"

Q: What is the age difference between Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher?
A: Demi was born in 1962, Ashton was born in 1978. She is about 15 years older then [sic] him.

Q: Was Seven Pounds nominated for any awards?
A: The movie Seven Pounds, with Will Smith & Rosario Dawson, is not nominated for any Oscars this year.

Q: Has anyone been married more times than Elizabeth Taylor?
A: On Jan 4th, 2007, it was recorded that Kamarudin Mohamad had married 53 times. Elizabeth Taylor had 8.

Q: Where do hip thirty-something career women shop for clothes?
A: Chicos, Dillards, Macy's, and J.C. Penny are a few; but it really depends on your style and body type.

Q: Where did Annette Bening attend high school?
A: Annette Bening attended Patrick Henry High. She studied drama there before wining [sic] multiple awards!

Q: Who is the youngest person to ever win an Oscar?
A: Shirley Temple won a juvenile Academy Award at age 6. Tatum O'Neal won a competitive Oscar at age 10.

Q: What is the lowest airfare from Minneapolis to Las Vegas for travel in March?
A: Depends on exact date, but a one-way ticket from Minn to Las Vegas starts at $137.21 for March 9, 2009.

Q: What is the best-selling import beer?
A: Corono Extra and Corona Light are the two most popular brands of Corona Beer. It is the #1 import in US.

Q: What's the difference between a trademark and copyright?
A: Trademark: used to protect a word, symbol, or name. Copyright: protects original works like books.

Q: What's the lifespan of a hummingbird?
A: In captivity, hummingbirds can survive for more than 10 years. In the wild 3 - 5 years is more likely.

Q: When does the Lunar New Year begin and what animal represents 2009?
A: The lunar new year began on Monday, January 26, 2009. This year is the year of the ox.

Q: What is the Transformer movie rated?
A: "Transformers: Revenge of th Fallen" opens in theaters on June 24, 2009 and is not yet rated.

Q: What was the last Transformer movie rated?
A: The most recent Transformer movie is rated: PG-13.

Q: What's the best remedy for adult acne?
A: Not medical advice: For home treatment for acne, apply an oatmeal mask at least once or twice a week.

Q: What's a good dog breed to introduce to children?
A: American bulldog, American foxhound, American mastiff, American pit bull terrier...

Q: How long does pink eye usually last?
A: Not medical advice. Pinkeye needs to be treated by a dr, if it hasn't improved in 2 - 3 days tell them.

Q: What does KGB stand for?
A: kgb: Knowledge Generation Bureau. We can answer most anyting. Text us again & let us show you!

Q: What were the most popular baby names last year?
A: The most popular baby girl's name for '08 was Emma. Aiden took the top spot for a boy's name.

Q: What were the most popular baby names of 1979?
A: In 1979, the most popular names were Michael & Jennifer, followed closely by Christopher & Melissa.

Q: What were the most popular baby names of 1989?
A: Michael & Jessica headed the name charts in 1989, followed by Christopher, Ashley, Matthew & Brittany.

Q: What were the most popular baby names of 1969?
A: In '69, Michael & Lisa were the most popular baby names followed by David & James, Michelle & Jennifer

Q: What were the most popular baby names of 1999?
A: In 1999 the most popular girl's name was Emily. The most popular boy's name was Jacob.

Q: Who are the seven arc angels?
A: Traditionally the 7 arch angels re Uriel Raphael Raguel Sariel Gabriel Remiel & Michael. This may vary.

Q: When did pink and blue first start representing the gender of newborn babies?
A: History is not clear but before 1940, the opposite was true: blue was for girls, pink was for boys.

Q: What is the tallest point in the 48 states?
A: The highest mountain in the 48 contiguous U.S. is Mt. Whitney, California at 14,494 feet/4418 meters.

OK, so now you see the many lame and sometimes very personal questions that came up during the last few days and how KGB answered them so gracefully and professionally.

I love this service. It was fun, convenient and provided accurate information in just a few minutes. I highly recommend this one to anyone looking for ways to prove who's right in an argument, stats for sports teams or players, or interesting facts to help start a conversation with that cute guy or gal in line at Starbucks.

To send a message to the KGB team, simply text to 542542 (kgbkgb) with your first question to get started. You will be charged 99 cents for each answer.

Finding That Special Someone

My male companion (for lack of a better term) and I recently discussed whether or not we'd ever get married again. We didn't discuss marrying each other, but talked hypothetically, of course! While I flirt with the idea of having more kids and someday walking down the aisle - older and wiser - I have to admit that the idea is just as scary as it is exciting.

A while back, before my best friend from high school got married, I wrote a post about Susan Piver's book, The Hard Questions. It's a small book filled with great topics to get couples discussing issues that will come up throughout their relationship. Issues such as money, work, sex, family, and children are addressed as well as several others.

Photogurrl sent me an article recently which discusses A Dozen Ways to Get to Know Your Real Partner. Author Stacy D. Phillips mentions great signs to watch out for which are ones that I wish I had paid more attention to in my relationship with my ex-husband.

And just today, I discovered another amazing list through PT Law Mom's blog: 276 Questions to Ask Before You Marry.

Between these three resources, there is plenty to learn about yourself and your partner which makes for a fun and exciting activity that will bring you closer to the person you are with.

What these lists have helped me realize is that I have dozens - if not hundreds - of conversations yet to have with my current love interest. What's holding me back from bringing up these topics? Am I afraid to find out that we may not be the best match for each other or would it be scarier to discover that we are?

Threesome

Adding a child to a relationship definitely changes the dynamics of a partnership and will usually make things more stressful. People do it every day, though, so there's gotta be something said for creating families and making the beautiful babies that make the world go around. How do couples survive the tumultuous times ahead of them? What can they do to make things easier on their marriage and friendship?

I work with couples all the time who speak of marital issues that stem from their disagreements on parenting and problems that didn't occur before children. There are several books I recommend to parents looking for ways to get their relationship back on track and be the happy, loving couple they once were.

Oftentimes, parents don't take the time to focus on their relationship. They're busy disciplining their children, paying bills, cleaning house, and putting their children before their marriage. While I don't tell couples to neglect their kids or set aside their responsibilities, I do encourage them to make time to go out on a date once a week with their partner. Whether it's a walk through the neighborhood, or dinner and a movie, focusing on your relationship - and not talking about the kids - is a positive thing for the entire family.

With Valentine's Day coming up, I hope that you and your spouse are taking time to do something special alone, without the kids.

Love Stories

John Gray, PhD, is known for his series of books focusing on the differences between men and women and how to use this knowledge to strengthen relationships.

In Mars and Venus in Love, Gray shares the stories of couples he has worked with over the years and asks them to explain what types of problems they've had in their relationships and what works for them as far as communication and expressing love is concerned.

It's essentially a book of love stories - a collection of true-life tales that will show you something about your own love story that may have eluded you for a long time. A few insights, techniques, and changes in habits of mind and body nourish love and make it grow, and like little one-act plays these stories show you how. Mars and Venus in Love gives you the opportunity to see yourself in the stories of others and to recognize your own communication and behavior patterns in the circumstances they describe. It shows you, in many different ways,that:

• Problems in love are normal
• There's nothing wrong with you if you have difficulties in your relationships
• Almost everyone who tries to love has problems getting it right
• Even when people are deeply in love their relationships won't work if they don't recognize certain truths about men and women
• Men and women are different
• The key to falling and staying in love is to recognize and embrace those differences.

Offering you creative ideas for solving problems in your relationships and opening up new avenues for communication, Mars and Venus in Love is an invaluable resource and a perfect companion to Gray's previous books.

For ways to enhance the passion and romance in your life, check out Mars and Venus in the Bedroom.

What I Love About You

You can't go wrong this Valentine's Day if you pick up a copy of Kate & David Marshall's What I Love About You for your special someone.

The fill-in-the-blank book will have you and your partner focusing on your relationship and what it means to love unconditionally.

This book prompts you to say what is in your heart, but may not always be at the tip of your tongue. Tell the most important person in your life just how much they mean to you by completing the scores of unique, evocative checklists, short answers, and phrases in this attractive gift book:

If we'd first met in a comic strip, the thought bubble over my head would have said...

I adore this little daily ritual or habit we have...

One of your most irresistible physical features is...

I missed you when...

Playful, tender, and personal, this is the perfect gift for the person in your life who makes your pulse race.

Couple this with How to Love Me, by Ali Davis, for more wonderful ways to communicate with your loved one and learn to express your innermost thoughts and desires to strengthen your bond.

Six Figure Moms Club

I attended a great networking event last night hosted by @aaswartz of Square Martini Media. There were over a dozen women there and I did not have the opportunity to speak with all of the women but I did meet several great people and even ran into someone I hadn't seen in a while.

We created vision boards, which I had never done before and we ate some yummy food provided by dining details and shared some laughs, discussed our children, our businesses and where we picture ourselves in the next year.

Many of the people there spoke about Facebook and Twitter including @alanunderkofler, @VPG_Printing, @missorganized, @EtsukoT, @searchguru and @katzni.

My vision board contains many interesting photos and words found in random magazines that spilled across the tables tonight. Themes that showed up on my board included family, love & romance, travel and of course, success and financial freedom.

If you haven't created a vision board for yourself, your business, or your family, check out the vision boards that people have posted online. You'll see it's as easy as putting down on paper, or in writing, what you see for your future.

New Year - New Y.O.U.

I am working on becoming a certified practitioner for the Y.O.U. Consulting Group (as if I don't have enough on my plate). It's hard to define to those who are not familiar with assessment tools, but, to sum it up, it's cutting edge human assessment technology for creating perfect relationships in business, home and life.

I had several volunteers step up to take the survey for my first homework assignment. I was asked to provide their translation based on their responses to several questions about their appearance, their preferences and their own perception of who they are.


If you'd like to take the personality assessment, please contact me for details. Y.O.U. Consulting Group works with educators, and business owners for team-building and management. There are practitioners waiting to help you succeed in your personal and business relationships.

Divorce Calculator

If you want to know how likely it may be that you will go through a divorce in the next five years, head on over to Divorce 360 to check out their new divorce calculator.

According to a recent study, "couples marrying today are less likely to divorce compared to their parents' generation." Does that mean that the well-known and often-quoted statistic of 50% of all marriages end in divorce is no longer true?

Betsey Stevenson - assistant professor of business and public policy at University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School - seems to think so.

Check out these other great articles on marriage and divorce:

10 Signs of a Good Relationship
8 Common Relationship Mistakes
You Know You're Getting a Divorce If...
Tips to Prepare for a Divorce

Saving Your Relationship After Losing Your Job

According to many different studies, the top ten most stressful life events are:

• Death of spouse
• Divorce
• Marital separation
• Jail term or death of close family member
• Personal injury or illness
• Marriage
• Loss of job due to termination
• Marital reconciliation or retirement
• Pregnancy
• Change in financial state

Losing one's job changes your financial state and - often times - causes a person to go into a different state, emotionally. How do couples, especially those with children, handle this life-changing event?

Dr. Nancy Mramor offers ten tips to those going through this devastating time in one's life:

1. Focus on priorities, budgeting and resolving financial issues. "If there's something deeper to begin with, then couples can get back to that. But if the marriage was too based on social status and money, then once it's pulled out, there's nothing there."

2. Get outside supports. "Get as many people on your team looking for a job as possible."

3. Try to find agreement about what should be done and establish a timeline.

4. Consult experts and find out the best ways to manage your existing resources. "Don't be proud. Get advice. This is a time to consult people who you trust and who can guide you through this."

5. Strengthen the family by spending time together at home and include friends. "It's fine for kids to know that for a while, the family isn't going to be spending as much money. Kids should really understand what their parents' resources are."

6. Keep up communication with your spouse. "Really listen to the other person before you fire back, then respond in a way that's loving and respectful. You can have a loving, healthy debate with your partner as long as things are said with respect and love." Career transitions coach Stein agrees: "Keep talking to each other. It's not wrong to feel things, but it's essential to really listen to one another."

7. Reassess your wealth. "People have lots of things they don't need. Sell the things that are valuable. Get rid of everything in your life that doesn't have a strong value for the family and you as a couple. Only hold on to what's sentimentally important."

8. Understand the impact of stress on your body. "Maybe you can't keep your gym membership but you can take a walk. Express physical affection as a source of comfort. Deep breathing is one of the most powerful ways to restore your health."

9. Adopt an "attitude of gratitude" and live in the present moment. "Gratitude is one of the most powerful forces in people's lives and allows you to see everything that's good and possible. Give thanks for 10 things each day."

10. Focus on what you have, rather than what you don't have.

I know several people who have lost their jobs, reduced their hours or have had their income reduced in some way. Knowing that there are others in the same predicament may also help people deal with this hard time during this time of year.

Typical Reactions to Job Loss
Coping with Job Loss
Unemployment & Job Loss Support

If you're concerned about child support and how your monthly payments may change due to a job loss, contact a family law attorney in your state.

I Heart Obama

The votes are still being counted but I can’t help but want to celebrate. Never before, in my lifetime, have I been as moved as when Barack Obama speaks.

I’ve heard Presidents and leaders of all races, sex and religions speak, either live or in footage from years and moments past. Dr. Martin Luther King spoke with great authority, sincerity and in a respectful and loving manner.

The parenting classes I am certified to teach demand that parents seek the respect they deserve from their children while instilling a safe and comfortable environment for them to grow, explore, ask, learn and choose from.

My son knows much about the election process and this year’s candidates since I’ve been watching nothing else but the campaign trail, watching footage on TV, viewing videos online, reading articles in newspapers, opinions from all sorts and feel inspired, excited and aroused by the Obama campaign.

Each and every time I hear or see Obama, I fall a bit deeper in love. He is someone who I trust, admire, respect and yes, love. He has an energy that surrounds him that can be seen by all (who have not walked through life wearing blinders).

This morning, I made a comment on how Barack Obama was going to be the next President and my next husband. My son didn’t miss a beat. He said, “No, he’s not going to be your next husband.” I didn’t want to argue since he chose this statement to disagree with (as opposed to the comment I made about his role in U.S.).

I asked my son who he thought my next husband would be and again, without hesitation, he said – in a tone that reminded me of his father – “You should find a guy name NEVER.”

Laughter is truly the best medicine and the things my son comes up with are priceless. I’ll get over it – the fact that Barack Obama will not be my next husband, but I have no doubt that he will be known after tomorrow, as President Obama.

Congratulations – in advance – to the Obama family, The First Lady and First Daughters. I am honored that my son will have the memory of this historical moment to look back on as his first introduction to American politics.

Catching the Bouquet

Before I was married, I used to dread that part of the wedding reception when the single women would be called up to try to catch the bride's bouquet. I'd hesitate before standing up and slowly make my way to the back of the line.

Suddenly, now that I'm single (again) and older, I'm ready. I want it to be known that I'm single and ready to find Mr. Right.

I've been to two weddings in the last few weeks and made a point of being one of the first women to make her way up to the dance floor. I've even pushed my way to the front and reminded the brides to throw it my way.

Apparently, being open to catching a bouquet is not enough. I bawled my eyes out at the last wedding I attended. My best friend from high school got married and it was so amazing to see her up there among friends and family that I've known through her.

I met my best friend during our Freshman year of high school. She was shy. I was assigned to work with her on a class project and we've been friends ever since. Knowing her for over half of our lives allowed us both the privilege of being there to witness each other's ups and downs and in on each other's secrets and details of our past relationships.

During one of my (many) states of depression, she came to San Diego to spend the week with me. We did nothing but lay on the beach, party and sleep. It was amazing and it just proved to me that my friend would be there for me, whenever I needed her.

But where was she this past weekend? I don't think she understood the psychological elements involved in my desire to catch the bouquet. It was devastating enough that I was a "party of one" for both weddings and I now, I have nothing to show for it, no souvenirs to prove that I made it through yet another wedding without someone asking me when it'd be my turn.

Since I don't have any other weddings to look forward to, I need to think of what else I can do to ensure my luck in love and relationships. Perhaps I should go and have my palm read, or do a seance that will clear my home of any negative energy that might be left behind from my ex-husband.

Yes, many people are astonished by the fact that I still live in the same home that I shared with my husband. In fact, our house is still in his name (and mine). Perhaps it's time for a little emotional cleansing...and a change of paint color.