Thursday, August 13, 2009

Breaking the Law

This weekend, my grandparents will be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary, along with my grandma's 80th birthday. Her and my grandpa have seven children, most of whom now have grandchildren of their own. They have a total of thirteen grandkids and twelve great-grandkids so far.

My son and I will be the only ones out of the above referenced individuals who will not be there for the event. My heart is breaking right now just thinking about it but, since my ex-husband will not grant permission for me to leave the state with our son, we'll be here instead.

Up until yesterday, I was planning on getting on that plane with my son tonight, even though it would be considered a federal offense and no doubt my ex would have an Amber Alert issued for the 'kidnapping' of our child. Several of my friends had to talk me through how that would not be a good idea and how, more than likely, it would be used against me in the future where any custody arrangements or schedule is concerned.

My ex-husband doesn't have a large family. It's his mom, his sister, and him and I can't help but feel sorry for him when family events come up for me because he reacts the same way each time. I have to work hard to convince him to let us go and even harder to ignore him when he tells me how selfish I am and only thinking of myself when I ask his permission.

Our son has a family that loves him, that wants to spend time with him, and whom I want him to create memories with but it's very difficult being so far away and at times, I often wonder if things will ever change. Will the courts ever grant me permission to move back? Will I ever have the courage to request such a move again?

These are not easy decisions to make, but today I am wondering what's left for me here. I can write from anywhere and being closer to my friends and family would greatly benefit me - emotionally, spiritually, and financially. I blossom (as does my son) when we're there...

When mama is happy, everyone is happy.


mamikaze said...

it is so sad that your ex doesn't realize that he is taking away a special time from both your son and your grandparents.

Hang in there :)

Sugar said...

I am so sorry this weekend turned out this way. I hope things change for you guys. It's not easy when there are negative influences controlling our lives.

By the way... I saw a single dad and his son moving today. The boy could have been with his mom, but he must have received the same BS advice your ex got. The poor kid was screaming and crying the whole time that he didn't want to move. How is THAT good for a kid to experience in place of a family reunion surrounded by people that love him?

Bunch of schmitt... I tell ya!

Ali, Ryan and Rayna said...

I'm so sorry, for your son, for you, for your ex's lack of heart...and VERY sorry for your family missing out on your presence at this once in a lifetime event.

Does this mean your son is stuck helping your ex move this weekend for REAL?? Or is he going to be with you this weekend, instead?

Grandma Sylvie said...

I am sorry too. He doesn't realize that he is taking away precious bonding time from his son and from the rest of his son's family. Sure he is probably
jealous but his son is the one that is at the loss. Make sure you schedule another visit asap. We never know how much longer we will be on this earth to share time with our loved ones. We understand and love and miss you both. Grandma Sylvie

Single Mom Survives said...

I am in the same exact situation. My ex had a very small family too and the rub is, he doesn't even talk to them anymore but I do. He pulls the same crap on me. He even gave me verbal permission to go back home one weekend, I bought the tickets, then his new wife emailed me and told me I couldn't go and if I did he would call the police. Unreal. Let me at 'em!

HIP_M0M said...

Yeah, that was one thing I left out of this post. He gave me the verbal OK and then, after I purchased our tickets, he changed his mind. I was so mad because obviously I would not have paid for the flights ($800 total) if he had an issue with it. Now we have 12 months to use the tickets and I'm crossing my fingers that he'll let us go for the holidays which is pretty much the only time we can travel now that our son will be starting school.