Why Same-Sex Marriage Would Be the Best Thing for our Economy

Imagine for a minute you're planning a wedding. It doesn't have to be your wedding, or the wedding of a sibling or best friend. Let's say you're a wedding planner. Your job is to create the best, most beautiful, elaborate, memorable and amazing wedding for the happy couple-to-be.

The people that are getting married are career-oriented, ambitious individuals who want to have a say in the plans, but who want someone else to carry them out. They're smart because they've heard of the "Bridezillas" who become obsessed with spending disgusting amounts of money on what's supposed to be a special day and who turn into evil Bitches who will fight for the best, brightest and most expensive wedding ever, despite who they hurt (or how much debt they incur) in the process.

Your job is easy. After all, there are hundreds of vendors in the wedding industry just waiting to help you out. The couple-to-be is relying on you to guide them and help them invest in the special day that will launch their future together as husband and husband, or wife and wife.

Regardless of how you feel about same-sex marriage, this is your job. You are going to be making a nice-size fee for arranging all of the details for their big event. Now, where do you go? Who do you turn to?

In the U.S., the average couple spends around $30,000 on a wedding. That does not include the cost of the honeymoon or engagement ring! This doesn't even consider the cost that is spent by the bridal party themselves or the gifts that the guests purchase for the couple. Imagine what same-sex marriage could do to boost our economy when you consider the following costs:

• Bride/Groom Accessories $125 - $400
  
• Groom Suit / Tux $175 - $300
  
• Wedding Dress $1000 - $1650
  
• Hair / Makeup $125 - $215
  
• Headpiece / Veil $225 - $375
  
• Ceremony Accessories $140 - $235
  
• Ceremony Decorations $420 - $700
  
• Ceremony Location $490 - $825
  
• Officiate/Pastor/Priest $175 - $300
  
• Rehearsal Dinner $955 - $1595
  
• Ceremony/Reception DJ $550 - $900
  
• Boutonnieres/Corsages $135 - $225
  
• Bride Bouquet $115 - $190
  
• Bridesmaid Bouquets $180 - $300
  
• Ceremony Flowers $325 - $545
  
• Flower Girl Flowers $35 - $60
  
• Reception Flowers $735 - $1225
  
• Gifts for Attendants $355 - $595
  
• Gifts for Each Other $285 - $480
  
• Gifts for Parents $125 - $210
  
• Shower Invitations $75 - $125
  
• Guestbook $35 - $60
  
• Wedding Invitation & Reply Cards $325 - $535
  
• Personal Stationery $100 - $170
  
• Save the Date Cards $125 - $200
  
• Thank You Cards $65 - $110
  
• Rings for Couple $500 - $1200 (each)
  
• Bridal Consultant/Bridal Planner $1000 - $1650
  
• Photographer $1500 - $2550
  
• Videographer $1100 - $1850
  
• Reception Beverages/Bartender $1660 - $2780
  
• Hotel Room for Couple $200 - $350
  
• Cake/Cake Knife Set/Cake Topper $460 - $775
  
• Reception Decorations $800 - $1350
  
• Favors $270 - $450
  
• Reception Food Service $5680 - $9500
  
• Reception Location $1850 - $3000
  
• Reception Rentals $825 - $1380
  
• Car Rental $225 - $380
  
• Limo Rental $500 - $835

The above costs are estimates, based on rates found in Southern California. I didn't spend nearly half this amount on my wedding (although it was approximate to the cost of my divorce).

Weddings can be put together with a much smaller - or grander budget - but the point here is that there are vendors (that are usually locally-owned businesses) that could benefit from making same-sex marriages legal.

I have never attended a same-sex wedding or commitment ceremony but I know of many couples who would be honored to stand before their friends and family and validate their relationship just as heterosexual couples have been allowed to do for generations.

Just a little something to think about.

A New Chapter

1. Where did you begin 2008?
I honestly don't remember. Home with my son?

2. What was your status by Valentine's Day?
In a relationship with a long-distance love.

3. Were you in school (anytime this year)?
I teach...does that count?

4. Did you have to go to the hospital?
I had to take a co-worker on an out-of-state business trip (what an story that was)!

5. Did you have any encounters with the police?
Yep. I was pulled over for speeding on my way to work one morning.

6. Where did you go on vacation?

I went snowboarding with my man at Keystone in early 2008, met him in Vegas for a weekend rendezvous. (Gosh, when was that?)

7. What did you purchase that was over $500?
Many items that added up (or exceeded) that amount but not any one thing.

8. Did you know anybody who got married?
Yep! I attended two weddings this year and another dear friend just got married in Mexico!

9. Did you know anybody who passed away?
Yes. My grandma died just before Christmas.

10. Did you move anywhere?
Nope.

11. What sporting events did you attend?
None.

12. What concerts/shows did you go to?

I had a date who took me to hear live music and I also took my son to see The Grinch at the Old Globe Theatre.

13. Where do you live now?
San Diego

14. What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2008?
Have to start looking for another job.

15. What has/have been your favorite moment(s)?
Laughing with my son, attending my friend's weddings, working with amazing families and spending time with loved ones.

16. What's something you learned about yourself?

I'm stronger than I knew, happier than I thought I could be, and I'm a damn good mom.

17. Any new additions to your family?
Yes, my nephew was born in late June.

18. What was your best month?

The last two months since I didn't have to travel or be away from my son for an extended period of time.

19. What music will you remember 2008 by?
That silly Madagascar song that my son sings while shaking his booty.

20. Made new friends?

Yes, there are a lot of great parents and people that work at my son's school that I'm glad to know, along with many great online contacts I've made - all of whom continue to inspire me and help me grow.

21. Favorite Night[s] out?

I dressed up for Halloween for the first time in my adult life. That was fun and I hope to do it again!

22. Any regrets?
No.

23. What do you want to change in 2009?
To take my son on a real vacation and get my butt back in shape!

24. Overall, how would you rate this year on a scale of 1-10?
I'd have to say 9...2009 will be a definite 10!

25. What would you change about 2008?
Not a thing.

26. Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
On an airplane, hotel room, or in my car!

26. Have any life changes in 2008?
Nothing drastic in my life, although the Presidential campaign rocked my world and moved me in ways that I never expected.

27. Change your hairstyle?
No, but I'm thinking I need to!

28. Get a new job?
No, but am starting to look.

29. Do you have a New Year's resolution?
To get in shape and take my son on a real vacation.

30. Did anything embarrassing?
No...it takes a lot for me to get embarrassed.

31. Buy anything new from eBay?
No, I don't shop on eBay.

32. What was/were your favorite purchase?
My new jeans.

33. Get married or divorced?
No.

34. Get arrested?
Riiiight.

35. Be honest - did you watch American Idol?
Never seen it!

36. Did you get sick this year?
I had a 24-hour flu but nothing major (knocking on wood).

37. Start a new hobby?
No, but I'm training for a new certification.

38. Been snowboarding?
Earlier in the year, not since this last snowfall.

39. Are you happy to see 2008 go?
No.

40. Drank Starbucks in 2008?
Who didn't?

I hope everyone has a Happy Healthy Hip New Year!

Catching the Bouquet

Before I was married, I used to dread that part of the wedding reception when the single women would be called up to try to catch the bride's bouquet. I'd hesitate before standing up and slowly make my way to the back of the line.

Suddenly, now that I'm single (again) and older, I'm ready. I want it to be known that I'm single and ready to find Mr. Right.

I've been to two weddings in the last few weeks and made a point of being one of the first women to make her way up to the dance floor. I've even pushed my way to the front and reminded the brides to throw it my way.

Apparently, being open to catching a bouquet is not enough. I bawled my eyes out at the last wedding I attended. My best friend from high school got married and it was so amazing to see her up there among friends and family that I've known through her.

I met my best friend during our Freshman year of high school. She was shy. I was assigned to work with her on a class project and we've been friends ever since. Knowing her for over half of our lives allowed us both the privilege of being there to witness each other's ups and downs and in on each other's secrets and details of our past relationships.

During one of my (many) states of depression, she came to San Diego to spend the week with me. We did nothing but lay on the beach, party and sleep. It was amazing and it just proved to me that my friend would be there for me, whenever I needed her.

But where was she this past weekend? I don't think she understood the psychological elements involved in my desire to catch the bouquet. It was devastating enough that I was a "party of one" for both weddings and I now, I have nothing to show for it, no souvenirs to prove that I made it through yet another wedding without someone asking me when it'd be my turn.

Since I don't have any other weddings to look forward to, I need to think of what else I can do to ensure my luck in love and relationships. Perhaps I should go and have my palm read, or do a seance that will clear my home of any negative energy that might be left behind from my ex-husband.

Yes, many people are astonished by the fact that I still live in the same home that I shared with my husband. In fact, our house is still in his name (and mine). Perhaps it's time for a little emotional cleansing...and a change of paint color.

The Hard Questions

My best friend of over fourteen years - whom I've known for over half my life - is getting married this fall. It's her birthday today so I want to dedicate this post to her and her future hubby (who I haven't had the opportunity to meet yet).

A few weeks back I picked up a copy of The Hard Questions by Susan Piver. Ever since my marriage ended, I've been very interested in books dealing with relationships and marriage.

This book contains 100 Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" and I hope that those who are thinking about getting married, planning the wedding or wondering if their current partner is "the one," will take the time to read this and answer these questions along with their significant other.

Here are just a few questions that can be found in the book:

• How much will we spend on furnishings? Who will make these decisions? What factors are important in making these decisions (price, quality, style)? Do we want to be free to decorate as our tastes change, or do we expect to invest in quality that will last a lifetime?
• What are our categories of expense (rent, clothing, insurance, travel)? How much do we spend monthly, annually, in each category? How much do we want to be able to spend? Now? In one year? Five years? Ten years?
• Outside of the office, how much of our work time are we willing to put into work? What place does the other's job have in our home life? Do we have an office at home? Do we bring work home? How much time is spent working at home?
• Are we satisfied with the frequency of lovemaking? How do we cope when our desire levels are unmatched?
  
• Is each of us happy with the other's approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other (smoking, excessive dieting, poor diet)?
• What place does the other's family play in our family life? How often do we visit or socialize together? If we have out-of-town relatives, will we ask them to visit us for extended periods? How often? For what length of time?
• Who will take care of our child if we both work? How does each partner feel about daycare?
• Which of us is responsible for creating community? Is one partner more outgoing than the other? Does one partner have a greater need for outside friendships and groups?
• What place do spiritual / religious beliefs play in our home and home life?

These are just a few questions from the list of 100 to really think about your own thoughts, beliefs and expectations in aspects that affect your marriage, as well as your partner's. Some of the answers might come to you easily. Some might be questions you have never thought about. All are essential to ask (and answer) before saying, "I do."

MatchMaker

I don't claim to be a matchmaker but I do enjoy seeing people I know find someone to spend their time with - and possibly the rest of their life.

Several of my girly-friends are getting married this year. I can't wait to celebrate - and witness their union.

And to those that are in search of that special someone - please read the warnings first - there are several online dating services to handle just about anyone's requirements.

All You Need is Love

Since the beginning of the year, I've discovered that three of my friends from high school and college are getting married this year. Babies and weddings. I've got a lot to look forward to in 2008 so I'm on the look out for ways to help spread the joy. Here are just a few resources for companies who produce beautiful announcements and invitations.