I Thought You'd Never Ask

A neighbor sent this to me via email and although I deleted several questions from this long list, I did answer honestly to the ones below. I also added a few of my own but that's only for me to know which ones. I was asked to forward it on to friends and family or risk bad luck for years to come...I'll take my chances.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
About 5am

2. Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the theatre?
Atonement

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Project Runway

5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
Cereal or coffee

6. What is your middle name?
Santos (I changed it from Lea to my given name when I got married)

7. What kind of car do you drive?
Nissan Quest

8. Favorite sandwich?
BLT

9. What characteristic do you despise?
Arrogance

10. Favorite item of clothing?
T shirt & jeans

11. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Northern Ireland to visit my girlfriend or New Zealand or Australia, or Costa Rica...oh heck. I really could use a vacation.

12. Favorite brand of clothing?
True Religion (jeans) or Juicy Couture

13. Where would you retire to?
Not sure - I have time to think about this, right?

14. What was your most recent memorable birthday?
30 - Celebrated in Vegas with my girly-friends.

15. Favorite sport to watch?
Horse Racing

16. When is your birthday?
April 8

17. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night owl

18. What is your shoe size?
7.5

19. Pets?
No

20. What did you want to grow up to be when you were little?
A teacher

21. What is your favorite candy?
Butterfinger

22. What is your favorite flower?
Dahlia

23. What day on the calendar are you most looking forward to?
End of January when I will head to CO to go snowboarding

24. What was the last thing you ate?
Ice cream

25. Do you wish on stars?
Every chance I get

26. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Brick Red

27. How is the weather right now?
Rainy

28. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My ex-husband

29. Favorite soft drink?
Root Beer

30. Hair color?
Auburn

31. Eye color?
Brown

32. Summer or winter?
Summer

33. Hugs or kisses?
Both

34. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate

35. Coffee or tea?
Coffee

36. When was the last time you cried?
Friday night

37. Last time you laughed?
Before bed with my son

38. What did you do last night?
Spent quality time with my son

39. What are you afraid of?
Having my heart broken (again)

40. Salty or sweet?
Salty

41. How many keys on your key-ring?
Several

42. How many years at your current job?
7 years this March

43. Favorite day of the week?
Any day my son's with me

44. How many different cities have you lived in?
3 (so far)

45. Do you have any regrets?
NONE

Me Me Me

How would your mother describe you in one word?
Daring.

What is your favorite flower?

Dahlia.

What is the most insane question you've ever been asked?
"Can I be honest with you?"

What word in the English language do you wish you had invented?
Onomatopoeia.

Where would you like to live?
Santa Cruz.

What animal best describes the kind of guy you'd be interested in?
Cougar.

What do you miss about your childhood?
Recess.

What is the main fault in your character?
Thinking out loud.

Who is your favorite historical figure?
Rosa Parks.

Describe how you kiss in one word.
Hungrily.

Finish the sentence: "Happiness is a thing called..."
Love.

A Little Meme

I discovered a mention of the Kane/Miller Japanese title, Breasts, this morning on the Paradise Found blog and browsed the site since it's new to me. I also found this little meme posted there yesterday and thought it'd be fun to continue it here.

From Japan
Breasts
by Genichiro Yagyu

All memes, no matter what the subject, remind me of Trudy White's Could You? Would You? I'm always up for promoting anything to get young people talking and getting to know each other - or themselves - better. I consider myself young (at heart) so I'll begin...

From Australia
Could You? Would You?
by Trudy White

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night?

My best friend from college.

2. What were you doing at 8:00am?

Still trying to wake up.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

Responding to over a dozen emails.

4. What happened to you in 2006?

My husband filed for divorced (can't recall much else from that year...)

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?

Thank you.

6. How many beverages did you have today?

Still working on my first.

7. What color is your hairbrush?

I don’t use a hairbrush, but my comb is blue.

8. What was the last thing you paid for?

Coffee

9. Where were you last night?

At the office until 10pm

10. What color is your front door?

Dark brown

11. Where do you keep your change?

In a jar on the kitchen table that reads: Family Fun Night

12. What’s the weather like today?

Overcast, foggy.

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?

14. What excites you?

Spending a day with family

15. Do you want to cut your hair?

No, it's short enough as it is.

16. Are you over the age of 25?

Yes, thank god.

17. Do you talk a lot?

Yes, too much.

18. Do you watch the O.C.?

No. And I'm appalled that other people do.

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?

Yes, but only through a friend of a friend.

20. Do you make up your own words?

Of course.

21. Are you a jealous person?

Yes, sometimes.

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’

Andrea, Alison, Amber... (Hi, ladies!)

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’

Kira

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?

My son's father

25. What does the last text message you received say

"Yeah, right. Maybe if I win the lotto."

26. Do you chew on your straw?

No.

27. Do you have curly hair?

No.

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?

Palm Springs

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?

Can't think of anyone

30. What was the last thing you ate?

a muffin

31. Will you get married in the future?

My first marriage just ended, and no, I don't think I will have a second go.

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?

A Night at the Museum (this is actually the only movie I've seen in the past 2 weeks)

33. Is there anyone you like right now?

Sure, lots of people!

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?

A few days ago

35. Are you currently depressed?

No, should I be?

36. Did you cry today?

Not yet!

37. Why did you answer and post this?

I've been having bad luck this week and thought perhaps answering random questions about myself would cheer me up. It has.

It's Official!

It's about time. It's about independence. It's about moving on and putting my past where it belongs - behind me.

I heard from my lawyer's office today. I've had a more difficult time dealing with the end of my relationship with the legal secretary and receptionist from his office more than I've had saying good riddance to my marriage.

After sixteen long and life-altering months, I am officially divorced, no longer married, free to do just about anything I please, as long as it does not involve my son, of course. (Anything related to him still requires permission and a court order, but that's a whole other story.)

Sixteen months. I can't believe it's been that long since my ex-husband announced that he was filing for divorce. Of course, sixteen months ago I wasn't in the same place, emotionally, and it took a while for the seriousness of his statement to sink in.

Now, I can proudly say that I am stronger, happier, healthier and more confident than I've ever been before (thanks mostly to my therapist). Throughout the last year and a half (just about), I've gained new friends, fell in love, had my heart broken, reconstructed my relationship with my son, my father, and my ex-husband. Along the way, I discovered strengths within me that I never knew existed.

It's been a growing period, that's for sure, but I'm pleased to report that after all the tears and heartbreak, I have no regrets. I have nothing to apologize for and certainly don't feel there's any reason for anyone to feel sorry for me.

The only person in this world that I will need to explain my portion of the responsibility to, is of course, my son. He's much too young now to understand the implications of the marriage between his father and I or why it was not possible for us to have remained together, but at some point, I will need to sit down with him and answer the many questions that I know he will have.

It's better to have loved and lost,
than to live with a Psycho
for the rest of your life!

I will say this right now. Each of us (his father and I) have a different version of the story to tell. And I'm certain that over time, those versions will be altered with what we recall and what we want to remember as our own truth, however different and separate those truths may be.

I am proud of my son for having the courage to deal with such a major disruption in his life and I am equally proud of his father, for having the strength and courage to walk away when he did. And I am just as proud of myself for having the strength and courage to not give up, to fight harder for the life that I want for my son and for standing up to those who weren't sure if they agreed with my course of action.

It's official. I am no longer a married woman. I'm a 30-year-old, single, working mom, newly divorced. It sounds less scary for me to say this out loud than it probably is for most married (or never married) people to hear.

We all have different paths in life that take us in directions that even we can't predict. I believe mine was chosen for me and although it's been a bumpy ride, I'm still moving, now at a faster pace, and I can't wait to see what's around the bend.

Goodnight, My Angel

Goodnight, my angel

Time to close your eyes

And save these questions for another day

I think I know what you've been asking me

I think you know what I've been trying to say

I promised I would never leave you

And you should always know

Wherever you may go

No matter where you are

I never will be far away

Goodnight, my angel

Now it's time to sleep

And still so many things I want to say

Remember all the songs you sang for me

When we went sailing on an emerald bay

And like a boat out on the ocean

I'm rocking you to sleep

The water's dark and deep

Inside this ancient heart

You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight, my angel

Now it's time to dream

And dream how wonderful your life will be

Someday your child may cry

And if you sing this lullaby

Then in your heart

There will always be a part of me

Someday we'll all be gone

But lullabies go on and on...

They never die

That's how you

And I

Will be

(c) Billy Joel

He left today. I sat down after saying goodbye and watched him slowly disappear. I was smiling and crying at the same time. I can't help but smile when I think of him even though I was upset about the weekend coming to an end and about a certain situation that caused a bit of tension during his visit.

I was sitting there imagining that he would come running back to hold me again one last time. I was hoping that his plane would be canceled so he would have no choice but to stay one more night.

I stayed at the airport for a while, waiting for his plane to leave and waiting a few minutes afterwards, daydreaming about him changing his mind about getting on the plane at all.

My imagination works overtime lately. I find myself wondering what life would be like if I had the freedom to move or pick up and go whenever and wherever.

I am torn between my role as mom and just being me. The Mom in me focuses primarily on my son, wanting what's best for him and working hard to create a life for us.

The single woman in me focuses on me and wanting to create a life in which I can be satisfied and loved and making a life with someone who is equally focused on our mutual needs, wants and desires.

My life has taken me in a direction that I never expected. Here I am, thousands of miles away from the people I care deeply about and I find that I'm always missing someone. I know now how my son must feel pretty much all of the time. If he's with me, he misses Dad. If he's with Dad, he misses Mom.

I feel so guilty for putting him in this situation. At the same time, I know I didn't really have a choice. My instincts kicked in when I hit rock bottom and I realize now that things had to change in order to establish a healthy environment for my son.

After fully healing, I finally recognize the strength I had in order to crawl out from the darkness.

I'm happier and healthier (emotionally) than I've ever been and I now have so much to look forward to. Everyone needs that. It's what keeps us going, the future, and I'm excited about mine.