Thursday, June 5, 2008

First Date: How to Avoid Having it Be Your Last

Rules for a First Date:
  1. Do not talk about your ex (girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse) in detail. The person you're with wants to know about you, not about how your last relationship went sour.
  2. Do not talk about your children. The person you're with wants to know more about you, not about the adorable thing your son/daughter said this morning or how many kids you plan on having.
  3. Do not talk about the relationship between you and your parents. The person you're with wants to get to know you, and does not want to hear about how your parents discouraged you from pursuing your childhood dreams.
  4. Do not talk about your pets. The person you're with doesn't want to hear about how you spend most of your time talking to your dog/cat/goldfish.
  5. Do not talk about money. This is the first date and the person you're with does not want to know that they make less money than you or that you spend more than you make.
  6. Do not talk about marriage. The person you're with is not ready to hear about how your first marriage went wrong. They also don't want to hear about how you've sworn that you'd never make that same mistake again.
  7. Do not talk about how long it's been since you've had sex. If you are simply looking to hook up with someone, let's be honest. This is not a date - it's foreplay.
  8. Do not talk about love at first sight. There will never be a second date if you go this route.
  9. Do not talk about your religious beliefs or how you feel about abortion or the death penalty. These are conversations that are best left for second or third dates (if you get that far).
  10. Do not listen to me. What do I know about dating or relationships? Every relationship I've ever been in has ended. If you have any real advice, please send it my way.
If you have first date horror stories, or laugh-out-loud details to share, post them in the comments, or over at Dad's House. You may just win this great writing CONTEST.


dadshouse said...

Great list. Everyone has their hot buttons, and for me it's 5 and 6.

Money - if a woman starts asking me how much I make, I won't even consider a second date. Be smart, be creative, look for clues - if I own a home in an affluent neighborhood, you can be pretty sure I'm doing fine, even if you see me wearing an old T-shirt and shorts. (not typical first date attire, but you get the point)

Marriage/Ex-spouses - a first date is too soon to talk future marriage, and ex-spouses should definitely not come up. Yikes. That's a huge turnoff.

As for 10 - we learn from our mistakes. I've been single for 8 years since my divorce, but I've learned a lot, grown a ton, evolved, become more self aware, etc. Of course, I do hope to enter a relationship that lasts for a while (my longest post-divorce relationship lasted a little over a year)

You know tons!

Single_M0M said...

The best advice I can pass on is from the book, The Four-Man Plan.

The author insists that there should always be a second date.

First impressions are always key and you may get a *creepy* vibe right away, but everyone has their days and typically, a person will be more relaxed on date #2 so my advice: Give it a second chance.

Anonymous said...

It looks to me like the first date
you should not talk much at all.
Go to a movie or something like that. The few first dates I ever
had were like that. Not much talking or with others along.
My first date with my husband of
30some years was not good. After
corresponding with him for a year
while he was in the service then trying a second date, I accepted.
This is not advice, just my experience.