Child's Play X2

What makes Matthew, of Child's Play X2 a happy, healthy, hip dad? I had to travel all the way to Chicago in order to meet him in real life but from chatting with him through Twitter and reading his blog, I knew I could not miss the panel he was speaking on.

Before leaving for our roadtrip, I sent Matthew some questions to ponder so that those who were not familiar with his writing could get a bit more info about who he is, both on and off the web:

1) You started your blog in 2004. Had you done any other writing prior to that?

I had not. In fact, for the first year or two I didn’t even consider what I was putting on my blog as “writing.” Over the years, however, I have come to love the writing aspect. Many of my posts are told in story form or there is a setup to a punch-line and I enjoy crafting those posts.

2) How has blogging changed (for you) since then?

Blogging has changed a lot since I started my blog. My cousin Maggie (Mightygirl.net) turned me onto blogging and back then not many people knew what blogging was. Back then there was a relatively small amount of parent bloggers and we all seemed to be having kids or had young kids. We would add each other to our blog rolls and comment on each other’s blogs and that’s how we built up readership. Now there are so many blogs that it’s very difficult to stand out.

3) Please share the story of how you came to be a speaker on the upcoming panel at this year’s BlogHer.

I’m still not sure how I became a speaker on the BlogHer panel! I was looking at the BlogHer website shortly after registering and noticed there was a proposal for a panel called Vaginally Challenged – The Men of BlogHer. It was proposed by Adam Avitable of Avitable.com. I think I clicked on something that volunteered me for the panel but then I completely forgot about it. Until I got an email saying I had been selected to sit on the panel. I’m very excited about to experience my first BlogHer conference from this perspective.

4) Please share your children’s (nick)names, age and gender.

I have four year old boy/girl twins. My nickname for the boy is TheMonk and my nickname for the girl is Swee’Pea.

5) How do you maintain a healthy relationship with your children? With your wife?

I have maintained a healthy relationship with my children by being as involved in parenting my children as my wife. As a father, I think it’s important that my children see me in a similar way that they see my wife. I also try to maintain consistency with my kids from my wife to me. The kids know that my wife and I will back each other up and that we will consistently enforce rules so there is no pitting mom vs. dad going on.

My kids also know that I am there for them. I keep my promises to them and I think they know they can count on me.

Maintaining a healthy relationship with my wife has been much more difficult. Having twins was extremely challenging for us and the first year, especially, was the most difficult year of our lives. Our relationship certainly took a back seat. We are only now beginning to try and schedule time for the two of us that doesn’t involve kids because it’s so important to keep our relationship strong.

6) Kids say the cutest things. What is the funniest story you recall about each of your children?

Kisses, in our family, have magical healing powers. Boo boos are kissed and made better. One day, my son fell on his butt and when I tried to soothe him, he turned around, stuck his butt in the air and yelled, “KISS IT DADDY! KISS IT!” I did.

My daughter is a devious one who is learning how she can play Daddy like a cheap violin. Just recently she caught me off guard by telling me what a good job I do as a daddy and giving me a piece of chocolate as my reward. I was so touched that my little girl was reaching out to me like that. She then asked for a bite.

7) What is your proudest parenting moment?

I don’t have just one moment. I am proud that my kids see me as an equal parent and that I am equally responsible for the upbringing of my children. I’m proud that I have made the decision to make my children a top priority all of the time.

8) What is your biggest parenting challenge?

My biggest parenting challenge is balancing time for me, my work, my wife and my kids. I always feel like one is suffering and often times it’s the “me time.” I’m trying to figure that one out. If you know the answer, please let me know!

9) What’s your favorite family-friendly restaurant in San Diego?

My favorite family-friendly restaurant in San Diego is Chick-Fil-A. I can get healthy alternatives for the kids, the kids often get a balloon and they can play in the play structure while I eat fries and drink milk shakes.

10) What’s your favorite activity you enjoy with your child(ren)?

I love going to the park with the kids. I love watching my kids take risks on the playground equipment, interact with other kids and then I often play along too. It’s fun being out and about with my kids and I hope I can keep doing well into the future.

11) What advice would you give to new or expecting parents? And to those expecting twins?

New parents need to talk about their parenting philosophy before they have kids. Both parents need to be on the same page about what’s important and what’s not. I think also that moms should help dads become more involved in the parenting – particularly if the dad isn’t sure what his role will be.

As for parenting twins, I think it’s extremely important to get the kids on the same feeding and sleeping schedule from the get go. It will make your life so much easier.

12) Who or where do you go to for parenting advice?

I read blogs and I read books but the biggest person I go to for advice is my wife. She’s an extremely intuitive person and she is a big researcher who has the ability to take information and make it relevant. I don’t know how I would be as parent if I didn’t have her support.

13) How would your children describe you?

My children would describe me as silly, a bad dancer, and someone who loves hugs and kisses.

If you have any other questions about Matthew, his family, his writing, or his appearance at BlogHer, head on over to Child's Play X2. You can discover all you need - or would ever want - to know about him by checking out his list of 100 Things.

Vote for Me

No, I'm not running for President and I'm not asking for you to select me for Parent of the Year. What I am asking is that you please vote for my blog which is included in the Parenting category of this year's Love This Site Awards presented by Divine Caroline.

You do need to register in order to vote, so I understand if submitting your email address to yet another site is not on your list of priorities, but if you are into blogging, whether it's reading them or writing your own, I would greatly appreciate a vote to put my parenting blog on the map.

My site is included amongst many amazing writers - many of whom I have voted for already - but if you enjoy this site, why not practice your voting skills for the upcoming election. I'm not going to ask you to wear an "I Voted," sticker, but if you ask nicely, I may just create one!

My New Gig

I've been asked to write the blog at my son's new school this year to get the parents and community excited about the Annual Fund that raises money to keep the school going.

I enjoy writing. In fact, it's my first love. My mom taught me how to read before I started kindergarten and around that same time, I began typing short stories on her typewriter and have grown up with a passion for the written word.

As I've grown - and evolved - so has my passion for writing. From poetry to fiction, erotica to my current interest in non-fiction, I've been expanding my horizons for three decades now, moving from one writing project to another.

I'm pleased and honored to have the opportunity to write in yet another capacity, even if it is for a select audience like the parents at my son's school. Even though my son's just beginning his "career" at this school in Pre-K, the children he's in class with every day are going to be his friends for life, or at least that's my hope for him. The school is an independent school and will go through the 8th grade so he will literally grow up with these same kids.

I look forward to sharing my thoughts and inspirations with the parents at school. Hopefully, I'll be able to continue to juggle all of the responsibilities in my life. I have trouble saying no and this project was no exception. I do feel, however, that my belief in the school and my passion for children and families will be a contagious force that continues to help our community grow.

Blog Day 2008

Blog Day 2008 is two weeks away. Are you prepared?

Participate by adding a badge to your site and research at least 5 blogs to share with others. Instructions are simple:

1. Find 5 new Blogs that you find interesting
2. Notify the 5 bloggers that you are recommending them as part of BlogDay 2008
3. Write a short description of the Blogs and place a link to the recommended Blogs
4. Post the BlogDay Post (on August 31st)
   
5. Add the BlogDay tag using this link:
   http://technorati.com/tag/BlogDay2008 and a link to the BlogDay web site: http://www.blogday.org

Mommy Daddy Blogs

New Parents (they're parents and they're new to me) added to my blogroll:

• Whiskey In My Sippy Cup
• Cheaper Than Therapy
• Playgroups Are No Place for Children
• My Minivan is Faster Than Yours

Multi-Tasking Moms

Are soccer moms a dying breed?

According to marketing and advertising representatives from companies who cater to families with children, the modern mom maintains her career, family, friendships, book clubs, play dates, after school activities, and date nights, as well as managing her local community and on line network and blog, all while looking good and feeling even better.

What the article failed to mention is the fact that today's women (mothers or not) grew up under a different set of "rules" than those our own mothers experienced.

My favorite T-shirt when I was around five years old (I remember it vividly) was one that read: Anything Boys Can Do, Girls Can Do Better!

Available at SuperHeroStuff.com

Not that I believed that to be true, but it empowered me to try harder, not be intimidated by those who said, "but you're a girl," and gave me permission to be whoever the hell I wanted to be. At five, I may not have realized the impact this would have on my future self, but I now know that I'm now not alone among this generation of women who refuse to settle - or sacrifice - when it comes to our careers, our families or our happiness. We make choices and with every change there does come evolution.

I don't have a daughter and perhaps I never will but I can only imagine how difficult it is to raise a young girl these days. While I was singing along to "Like a Virgin," before I was old enough to understand what that even meant, today's youth are learning about sex at a much earlier age and are exposed to much more than many parents choose to admit.

If moms do have such an impact on the advertising and marketing campaigns that major companies create, shouldn't we be witnessing a shift in the levels and frequency of sex and violence featured on television and everywhere else in our society?

I'm not sure where us Multi-tasking Moms need to start for these changes to take effect, but I do know that with each forthcoming generation of women, and future moms, change is bound to occur and the companies that cater to them are going to have to modify their approach accordingly.

It's going to be an exciting ride and we have the women and moms before us to thank.

Giveaway: Pink Lemonade Bags

Pink Lemonade Bags is giving away a beautiful bag to one lucky reader! The giveaway is being hosted by Notes From My Nest.

Deadline to enter is noon (EST), 7.2.08. Open to US residents only.

WARNING

Zen Dad

I enjoy quite a few other blogs - when I actually have time to read them - and I especially like those that cover a wide variety of topics while staying true to their voice. Zen Habits is one such blog and a recent post by this happy dad made me smile: Why I Love Being a Dad.

For those with children, you will understand why I enjoyed this post so much and why there are (currently) nearly 65 comments on this posting and why his blog is in the top 50 blogs found through Technorati.

Read it and weep. I did.

It Takes a Village

I am not the first one in my circle to have a baby (OK, my son is technically not a baby - he turns 4 at the end of the month), but I am the first among us - that I'm aware of - to become a Certified Parent Educator.

In no way does that mean that I am certified to actually be a parent. Anyone can do that. That's the easy part: creating a child, bringing him or her into the world. The challenge comes afterwards and the more verbal and active the little beings become, the bigger the challenge.

One of my best girlfriends contacted me recently for some helpful words of wisdom. You see, with my son (and high-conflict divorce) I've pretty much dealt with every possible parenting issue under the sun. The fact that my sister (whose son is 18 months younger than mine) and my friend who is ten years older than me (give or take) come to me with questions regarding their little ones and the ages and stages that they're in gives me strength and encouragement that I hope I am able to reflect back to them.

That I've been there, done that, proves nothing except for the fact that we all - as parents - must go through the same things, exactly the same things. Whether our kids hit, bite, talk back, or repeat something we've said, our children will still continue look to us for advice, guidance and for our unconditional love and support.

Now, I can't speak for all parents, but I know that there are certainly days when I feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and wonder how on earth I could possibly survive another day with the energetic bundle of bones that is jumping on me, screaming and crying loud enough to wake the neighbors (and still somehow manage to make me smile through it all).

Those are the days - and nights - when I wonder how I will possibly get to work (and function) on little or no sleep. Then there are the times when I wish I could play hooky, when I wish I could just sit up all night and watch my little guy sleep (and listen to what he says while he's dreaming).

Having a child is the most rewarding, life-altering and life-enhancing experience. I only have one (so far) and while there are those who struggle to bring a baby into this world, and those who simply choose not to even try, I must admit that having a child was not my choice.

What I mean is that, for a brief period of time, I thought I would never have kids. Then I got pregnant, unexpectedly, in college, and lost the baby just a few months later. I lost more than my unborn child that day and it took me a long time - years, in fact - to finally come to the realization that life does what it will with us.

I ended up moving to San Diego after the miscarriage, meeting my son's father, getting married, and creating our beautiful child together before moving on and separating our lives and dividing our time.

I could dwell on the negative aspects of all of this, like the fact that my son cries himself to sleep quite often, always missing the other parent, but instead, I choose to look at the positive things that my son is getting from this experience of moving back and forth between two worlds.

He is loved. He is challenged. He is learning to adjust, learning to live under different sets of rules, habits and climates. He is growing to love each of us for our strengths and despite our weaknesses. Our ability to apologize (profusely) and ask for forgiveness enables our son to see the ups and downs of life, the best and worst of people.

Life leads us in many different directions. Some may seem predictable, some come to us as a complete surprise. Parenthood is like that too. We should all be so lucky. And we should all be lucky to have friends and family to turn to - for advice, a shoulder to cry on, or to brag about our little one's achievements.

I feel honored that my girlfriends come to me for any number of these things. I love sharing the horror stories of parenthood with them - along with the mommy moments that make us proud. I am proud of all the Mommies in my life - especially my own - for teaching me to be a better parent.

For the Love of...

Jen Robinson is a smart and thoughtful blogger. She's one of a handful of kidlit blogsters who I correspond with and have tried to meet up with in her hometown of San Jose, where I also have family.

I was away last week and fell behind on my blog reading. Jen Robinson's Book Page is always the place where I find myself slowing down, nodding in agreement, and thinking how intimidating Jen is (she's so much more worldly and intelligent than me).

Anywho, she mentioned in a recent post, her love of reading and how she feels it led to her education at Duke University. I am convinced that my love of reading and my desire to be close to books led me to my dream job, but I digress. This is not about work or college.

My story begins in late 2003. I'm eight months pregnant and sitting on the floor in front of my (then) husband, surrounded by dozens of other just-as-pregnant couples, all of whom are strangers. The two teachers are irritating me, as is everyone there (hormones) and I'm emotional, tired, hungry and just want to know when I'd be able to receive an epidural (I had no idea that I'd end up having a c-section at this point).

At one point, one of the teachers asks us all, one at a time, to share one of our partner's traits that we hope will be passed on to our unborn child. Luckily, my partner and I are in the middle of the half-circle so I'm grateful that I will have time to listen to every one's responses and to come up with an even better one of my own.

People around us are saying things like, "Her smile, or his sense of humor," along with other physical traits that I can't understand. I mean, I of course want my child to be healthy and happy, but I never thought about wanting him to have certain physical features.

When it came to our turn to speak, I was proud of both my answer and my partner. I spoke up loud and clear and let everyone know that the one trait in my partner I hoped would be passed along to our son would be his work ethic. He's a very hard worker and does everything he can to provide for his family.

I thought this was it. I was done. I no longer had to speak or participate for the rest of the day so I let my guard down. My partner (who I couldn't see because I was leaning back upon his chest), said, "I hope our son inherits her love of reading." I would've fainted if I hadn't already been sitting down. Tears poured out of my eyes and I was literally choking up over his thoughtful response and probably the biggest compliment one could ever pay me.

I have been working hard every day to make sure that my son does inherit my love of reading. I think that part of my job is done, as he enjoys heading to the library, the local bookstore, or my office, which is of course lined with bookshelves.

My son is already a hard worker and I can see how dedicated and focused he is on whatever task or challenge is presented to him. He's inherited his dad's smile, his mother's patience and his grandparents' red hair. And who knows? He could end up at Duke someday, too.

Cybils: 2007 Fiction Picture Book Nominations

I'm faced with a different dilemma each day. This morning, I discovered that so far, one Kane/Miller picture book from 2007 has been nominated in the 2007 Cybils Fiction Picture Book category. The dilemma is now deciding which one picture book we've published this year that I would nominate if I could.

Anne-Marie of A Readable Feast has nominated Samsara Dog, a sophisticated picture book for older readers that discusses the idea of reincarnation. Both text and illustrations were created with care and both Helen Manos and Julie Vivas did an amazing job in this collaboration that touches on the Buddhist concepts of Samsara and Nirvana.

Samsara Dog lived many lives. Some of his lives were long. Some lasted only a few days. Dog never remembered them. He lived each life as it came, until he learned the most important lesson of all.

In one of his lives Dog lived on the street...Dog loved nobody. Dog trusted nobody. Dog lived for himself...

Samsara Dog lived many lives: with a biker gang, as a sniffer dog, was born very small and very sick, shared his next life with a street juggler, came back as a rescue dog, was welcomed into a big house with four girls who adored him, and finally, he found the boy.

When he was with the boy, Dog's heart skimmed like a song. He loved the boy more than he loved himself...Nothing was better than being with the boy.

Illustration from Samsara Dog,
written by Helen Manos and illustrated by Julie Vivas
(Kane/Miller Book Publishers, 2007)

I can't possibly explain how touching this story truly is. Originally published in Australia by Working Title Press, Samsara Dog a book that one must first read, alone. There should be time set aside for reflection afterwards - and a chance to wipe away your tears before sharing this beautiful treasure with loved ones. And trust me, you will want to.


The great thing about working for such a small company is that each and every one of us has a say in the books that are published. We read them to ourselves, we read them to our children, we read them aloud to one another. And in the end, we only publish books that we are all 110% enthusiastic about. We brainstorm about who would buy it, how it would be used in a classroom / story time setting, and how we would market it to the adults who sell it to consumers (our bookseller friends who have the arduous task of choosing books for their store among the thousands that are available each season).

The difficulty I have then, is that I am equally connected to and could just as easily recommend any of the following for a nomination in the fiction category for this year: The Zoo by Suzy Lee (South Korea), New Clothes for New Year's Day by Hyun-Ju Bae (South Korea), The Story of Cherry the Pig by UtakoYamada (Japan), And What Comes After a Thousand? by Annette Bley (Germany), The Short and Incredibly Happy Life of Riley by Colin Thompson and Amy Lissiat (Australia), and My Cat Copies Me by Yoon-duck Kwon (South Korea).

Illustration from And What Comes After a Thousand?
by Anette Bley
(Kane/Miller Book Publishers, 2007)

I would not be able to choose between Could You? Would You? by Trudy White (Australia) and Who's Hiding? by Satoru Onishi (Japan) for the non-fiction picture book category nomination.

I realize that these are not all of the picture books we've published in 2007 but I know children's books. After all, I'm surrounded by the best books from around the world on a regular basis and several of the nominated books from the Cybils list sit on my son's bookshelves at home as I want to expose him to all types of books, but of course, only the best.

I can't imagine being on any committee where selecting only one or a few winners is the end result. It'd be like asking a parent to choose their favorite child. Therefore, I'm not going to select just one Kane/Miller title to nominate this year. I'll leave that up to the readers. After all, I'm going to be busy trying to narrow down which wonderful books from around the world we'll be publishing for the fall 2008 season.

My First Meme

I didn't actually create this meme but I'm passing it along. Is this allowed? I'm new to the whole blogging thing so please cut me some slack if I'm not following netiquette rules.

This may be old news to many kidlit blogsters, but Kimbooktu posted a meme a few weeks back (yep, I'm that far behind) that I just have to share.

My responses to these questions (although I realize no one asked me):

1. Hardcover or paperback, and why?

Hardcover: Why not?

2. If I were to own a book shop I would call it...

Read-Head Books

(because both my son and I are red-heads)

3. My favorite quote from a book (mention the title) is...

"...sometimes bad things happen so that good things can happen. You just had to make the best of it." - Dougal the Garbage Dump Bear, by Matt Dray

4. The author (alive or diseased) I would love to have lunch with would be ....

I have nothing to say, other than not one person (so far) has commented on this major typo...I think she meant deceased?

5. If I was going to a deserted island and could only bring one book, except from the SAS survival guide, it would be...

I'm not sure why I would be going to a deserted island, but if I were, I would bring The Short and Incredibly Happy Life of Riley by Colin Thompson and Amy Lissiat, to remind myself "...to be happy with a lot less."

6. I would love someone to invent a bookish gadget that....

Created an extra hour in each day devoted just for reading.

7. The smell of an old book reminds me of...

HOME

8. If I could be the lead character in a book (mention the title), it would be....

When I was young I wanted to be Pippy Longstocking or Anne (of Green Gables). They're both red-heads.

9. The most overestimated book of all times is....

The Da Vinci Code

10. I hate it when a (good) book....

comes to an end.

And, just to keep things exciting, I tag Betsy, Pam, Liz, Mindy, Jen and Jules.

Five Questions

Thanks to Kane/Miller, I have been lucky enough to work with authors and illustrators from around the world during my six and a half years with them. Several of these individuals have been quite friendly through email and some have even offered to show me around should I ever make it to their homeland.

Trudy White is one such author/illustrator. She is the creator of a very intimate book, Could You? Would You? I say intimate because you cannot read through the questions and instructions in this 96-page picture book without taking an intimate look at yourself, or those who you might share it with.

Kane/Miller Book Publishers

Inspired by the responses of several kidlit blogsters, I have taken the time to answer the five questions that Trudy selected for her mention in this past weekend's Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast posting.

• How would someone find you in a crowd?
  

I'll be the one with the purple glasses and the tattoos. Oh, and I sort of look like Emma.

• If your house had a secret room, what would be in there?

My secret reading room would have plenty of natural sunlight shining down through the skylights along the vaulted ceiling. The room would have built in, wall-to-wall bookshelves. Oh, and there would be a wine cellar (and a small bathroom) not too far away.

• Where do you like to walk from your house?

I enjoy walking up the street to the playground which is on the campus of a community college. It has tennis and basketball courts, a community swimming pool, baseball and soccer fields and a volleyball court. There are always happy people and children there to inspire me.

• How will you change as you grow up?

I hope to never grow up in that I enjoy living in the moment and seeing the world from a child's perspective. I would imagine that as my son grows and changes I will too but I can only hope that I will be even more happy, healthy and hip than I am now! And au naturel.

• What sort of animal would you like to be?
  

I liken myself to a snake, seemingly vulnerable yet powerful and strong, moving smoothly and constantly shedding my skin.

The questions and instructions from Trudys' book that would make great first-date discussions:

• What is the best thing about you?
• Can you wiggle your ears like a rabbit?
• Draw a picture of your family.
• What is the best thing about where you live?
• What special thing will you keep until you are old?
• What makes you smile?
  
• What makes you angry?
• What is the funniest thing you can remember?
• What helps you feel better if you're sad?

Oh, and just in case you're curious, Trudy and her partner recently "bought a block of land by the beach along The Great Ocean Road in Victoria - an hour or so from Melbourne."

I'm looking you up when I get to Australia, Trudy. I have some questions for you.