Swing Set Safety

I don't have a swing set. Hell, I don't even have a yard to put one in, but when I read this email that was forwarded to me from a friend, I couldn't help but get angry. I

love going to the playground with my son. I enjoy watching him climb to new heights and explore his own strengths as he travels from side to side across the monkey bars. And even though this report is both sad and disturbing, I feel the need to share the information with other parents, because being aware is the first step in keeping our children safe.

"I lost my son three and a half years ago to a senseless backyard swing set accident. Wesley was playing on a swing set that should have been pulled from the market in the mid 1970's when the first injury was reported. Instead, swing set manufacturers (knowing the design was a risk to children) continued to market and perpetuate this design in to backyards all over the country. As a result, scores of children have had horrific injuries--and my son is dead.

I have fought my guts out--along with Wesley's mother and sister and our families--to get this design banned from the U.S. market. And we have prevailed. Never again will the design be made.


The fight was horrible. Swing set manufacturers (including the manufacturer who provided the Obama children with their new White House lawn swing set) fought us with personal attacks and campaigns that were tremendously painful--all for money.

We won. But it cost us much.

But there's another phase in the fight. A crucial phase. And I need you to join with me in helping me.

While we were successful in the ban--the truth remains that TENS OF THOUSANDS OF THE SAME TYPE OF SWING SETS that killed our Wesley still remain in backyards all over the country.

That means that children are still at risk. And the CONSUMER PRODUCTS SAFETY COMMISSION refuses to issue a nation-wide warning so that parents who have this design in their back yards can make the necessary modifications to protect their children.

THE CPSC IS DROPPING THE BALL and WE MUST DEMAND THEY DO THEIR JOB AND ISSUE AN ALERT. Even when I first called the CPSC days after Wesley's accident, I got a shove-off and a huge reluctance to even look in to this case. I simply will NOT take no for an answer. No grieving parent would or should.

Start here:
http://www.wsvn.com/features/articles/investigations/MI127331

Watch the latest tv report about this and GO VIRAL WITH IT. PLEASE--IN THE NAME OF MY BEAUTIFUL SON WESLEY--FORWARD THIS E MAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW. PLEASE. GO VIRAL in e mails and on your Facebook pages. TWITTER the WSVN LINK. IT ONLY TAKES A MINUTE TO HELP. ASK EVERYONE TO CONTACT THE CPSC AND ASK THEM TO ISSUE A NATIONWIDE ALERT TO PARENTS.

WHEN YOU CONTACT THE CPSC-- GO TO: INFO@CPSC.GOV

FLOOD THEM. THEY ARE FAILING IN THIS INSTANCE. REMIND THEM THAT IN THEIR VERY OWN BI-LAWS--THEIR VERY EXISTENCE AND PURPOSE IS TO WARN THE PUBLIC. My son has been gone three and a half years. It's HIGH TIME the warning happen.

If they do not do this soon---I will hold a national press conference to say that the CPSC is dropping the ball here. Their credibility is on the line. Remind them to reclaim it.

Tainted Love

Today is Friendship Day, which takes place on the first Sunday of August each year, so I'd like to take a moment to share a story about what I've learned this last week about friendship and why - at thirtysomething - I'm just now figuring it all out.

If you're a regular to my blog, or follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you'll know that I spent last weekend in Chicago for the annual BlogHer conference. I drove out to Denver to pick up Sugar Jones and from there we hauled serious ass getting to Chicago early on the 23rd.

The hotel room at the Sheraton was under my roommate's name, but since I got to Chicago before her, I was able to check in but only by providing them with a credit card. Which. I. Do. Not. Have.

I had mentioned to my rommate, before leaving for Chicago, that I had cash to give her since the room was going to be charged to her credit card, but when I checked in, I gave them my debit card, from the checking account which had just enough money for gas and food for our trip home.

My roommate arrived once the parties were already in full swing. I had already stopped downstairs at the Social Lux party, made a new friend, tried to crash the Obama event, and was in the lobby for the Room 704 party when my roommate found me and asked for the room key. This is when I told her that I had checked in and asked her to stop by the front desk to give them her credit card.

We had different schedules throughout the weekend and, because she was pregnant and woke up with a migraine one morning, I was trying to be especially kind and stayed out of her way. I gave her the cash for my half of the room on Saturday - assuming - of course, that she had gone down to the front desk at some point over the weekend to provide them with her credit card for the room charges.

Saturday night (BowlHer) she called me and asked me if it was OK if a friend of hers spent the night in our room since they were on the same flight the following day. They had to be at the airport early and since her friend was staying at another hotel, she wanted to save money by having her stay with us so that they could avoid the extra taxi fare in the morning.

I'm too kind (or stupid), because instead of asking for money for the extra body in our room, I simply gave up my room that night. I ended up staying with my new friend and yes, perhaps was a little selfish since I spent the night away so I wouldn't be woken up by the two of them packing and getting ready to leave in the morning.

Because I didn't stay in my room, I wasn't able to charge my phone and the battery died some time in the middle of the night. When I woke up, I charged it, only to learn that my roommate had tried calling me.

This is when she informed me that the room had been charged to my card. My debit card. From the checking account that only had enough funds for gas and food for our trip home. I panicked. I called her back immediately but was only able to talk to her long enough for her to cut me off and tell me that she couldn't talk because she was going to miss her flight.

I was furious. Not only was she aware of the fact that the room was charged to my card, but she walked out of the hotel with the cash I gave her. Let's do the math here: I gave her cash for my half of the room. The entire hotel bill was charged to my card and I DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH FUNDS to cover it.

And this is when the Blind Anger kicks in because I cannot recall the details clearly after that but I do know that I tried calling her back to see if she could call the hotel and give them her credit card. She then informed me let that they couldn't charge her card without having her present to sign for it.

I asked her to send me the money via paypal and explained to her that I did not have any money to get us back home. I didn't hear back from her though because she was on her way to the airport and boarding her plane back home.

Chicago would not be the same without visiting Navy Pier but even that was difficult for me to enjoy since I wore out the battery on my phone checking my email every 10 minutes looking for the confirmation from Paypal regarding the payment that my roommate claimed was on its way.

Mamikaze was walking around Navy Pier as well so we walked and talked together, and later that night, I was able to enjoy a *very inexpensive dinner* with Sugar Jones and Shash at the World Famous Billy Goat Tavern and the two of them helped me keep my mind off of my lame-ass roommate and reminded me of how priceless it is to have great friends to laugh and chat with.

We ended up leaving late that evening, after my roommate let me know that her husband had sent payment (for the hotel room PLUS the cash I gave her) to my Paypal account. I was relieved even though I knew that it would take a few days to get the funds.

Wrong. On the road, after using my debit card to fill up the Equiox with gas, I discovered that she had sent the payment as an eCheck, which of course takes 3-5 days to clear. I already have an anxiety disorder, so this just kicked it into high gear as I literally had to put it out of my mind and concentrated on the ride home.

Sugar Jones was a little annoyed that I was in such a foul mood, so we drove and drove, sleeping in the car that night just outside St. Louis since we no longer had funds to spend on a motel room.

We straight through the following day, stopping only for gas and enjoying coffee and Rockstar energy drinks which, as scary as it sounds, prevented us from eating as often (and therefore saving us money).

We picked up Sugar's kids outside of Albuquerque the following night and I cried myself to sleep, missing my son who I was away from for a total of 9 days and for the mistakes, misunderstandings and missteps I took in regards to the money and hotel room.

The eCheck from Paypal cleared on Friday, July 30th. I got the email saying that the funds were now available in my Paypal account, but it still takes another 2 - 4 days to transfer the funds into my checking account. As of this post, the funds are still not in my account. (Trust me, I've been monitoring my account several times a day since last Sunday.)

My son and I have been trying to enjoy the last five days together, but I admit the situation has caused me to be a bit more impatient and irritable, bringing me to tears on several occasions and unfortunately, my son even heard me yelling - and swearing - when my roommate called to try and "work things out."

What I've learned through everything that has happened since arriving in Chicago, and may be something that only those who attended BlogHer can truly understand, is that friends are not simply those that show up for your birthday party or who send you pictures of their families during the holidays.

Friends that I have made online have truly been the most genuine, giving and sincere people that I could hope to know. I had the pleasure of meeting many of them in person last week and there were several people I met last week that I look forward to connecting with online and hopefully again in person at future conferences.

Today is Friendship Day and if you've read this far, you'll understand why I need to say thank you. Thank you for supporting me, listening to my side of the story, backing me up and for offering to send me money during this rough time. I truly could not ask for anything more.

Oh, and one more thing: My anxiety disorder does cause me to deal with things in unusual ways, so my roommate was right. It does totally suck that I got charged overdraft fees each and every time we stopped for gas or ate on the 2,000 mile trip home. And I too am truly sorry that this has occurred.

Looking Forward

As a single mom, it's hard at times to find others that I am able to confide in when it comes to talking about the butterflies that I experience and nervous excitement that I have before a date or when I meet someone who I’m attracted to. It's not often that it happens so it's during the dry spells that I'm there as a confidante, therapist and friend to others. I’m there for those seeking comfort, looking for someone who can listen and understand what they're going through.

I'm there for my friends who have either given up on love or are still trying to comprehend the relationships - and mistakes - from their past. My entire life has been dedicated to helping and listening to others. I'm a great listener. I don't think there's anyone that knows me that would tell you otherwise. Which is why, at times, I really feel the need to unleash and spill my guts to those who can also understand and who listen to me as I provide way too much information about an escapade that I've encountered or complain about a dry spell that's gone on for far too long.

Often, I spend my time online visiting the sites and blogs of other single parents - both moms and dads - who have encountered the same issues that I have. The Single Parents Connection on Facebook has a growing list of blogs dedicated to single parents. I'm honored to be included among such honest and humorous writers.

Prior to my divorce, I was the mom who worked over 50 hours a week, feeling guilty about not being there for my son, missing out on so much as he grew up and changed in the blink of an eye while I built my career, being the breadwinner and putting all of my energy into my job, not realizing that I was neglecting my husband and child at the same time.

We all make sacrifices for our family and there is always a choice to be made. Seeing the other side of it now, the work-at-home mom who wants to provide for her child, who has so much to offer and supply as a nurturing, sympathetic caregiver who wishes she could turn back time.

There’s also another side to that. I also need and crave that female energy, the bond that has brought women together for centuries, which is maybe one of the main reasons why I’m so looking forward to attending my first BlogHer conference.

I have met so many great and inspiring women in this lifetime. I have been lucky enough to have sat with some brilliant individuals, learning so much as they guide me and help me learn from, not only their mistakes, but teach me to learn from my own.

If you’re attending BlogHer in just a few weeks, drop me a line, let me know what you’re most looking forward to (be honest) and what your concerns are. I know a lot of people are worried that it’ll be like high school again. Cliques and popularity contests is not something I would want to experience again, but I also know that the bonds that have been created by women – either online or meeting in person in the past – are hard to break.

I hope to meet many new friends and have a chance to really listen to what everyone has to say. I do my best work that way.

Happy Mother's Day to Me

Yesterday was Mother's Day. I woke up (a bit hungover) to my son staring at me and asking me to play first thing in the morning. One of the first things I typically do when I get up, regardless of what day it is, is visit my Twitter account and Facebook to see what's been going on. I was surprised to see so many congratulatory notes and assumed people were congratulating me on my Front Page feature in the San Diego Union Tribune. But wait, how would people outside of San Diego know about that?

It wasn't until I saw the tweet from Totally_Toni of Just Stop Screaming, that I realized that my blog (yep, the one that you're reading right now) was listed in the Top 50 Power Moms list published by Nielsen! So, what exactly does this mean?

It means that the audience is listening, or reading to be exact. They're commenting, sharing links and passing along valuable information and resources that are shared on my site and those of the other moms on this list.

I couldn't be more honored to be listed with such influential and successful mommy bloggers. These are the women who I look forward to meeting in person at the upcoming BlogHer convention in Chicago.

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting was mentioned - or appeared - elsewhere over the last few days. Thanks to Keep It Classy Jen and Sugar Jones for putting together this awesome Mother's Day video:






Mammarazi Knows Best and San Diego Momma did a lovely re-cap of the San Diego Mom's Nite Out event that took place last Thursday night. If you're a San Diego mom or dad, you'll definitely want to join us on Thursday, May 21st for the 2nd Annual Happy Healthy Hip Parenting Party. It takes place at The Airport Lounge and each guest will receive a FREE drink ticket, half-price appetizers and be eligible for some GREAT giveaways provided by our many sponsors. I hope to see you there!

There are no words...

...to describe how broken my heart is right now. I'm in tears, praying for a family whom I have never met in real life. I heard the news through Twitter and realized how quickly, and helpful, this service can be when there is news that needs to be spread.

A beautiful toddler lost her life today and her family (and loved ones near and far) are mourning the death of someone too young and too precious to say goodbye to so soon.

Madeline Alice Spohr
November 11, 2007 - April 7, 2009

Words just cannot explain how devastating it was to find out that L.A. based mom and dad Heather and Mike, lost their daughter Madeline today. Although Heather wrote about her daughter needing to go to the hospital just yesterday, there's nothing that could've ever prepare her (or any parent) for the death of their child.

If you are able to be Los Angeles on Saturday, April 25th, please join the walk for the March of Dimes or donate in Madeline's name if you cannot be there and please spread the word through your blog, website or on your Facebook, Twitter or other networking pages.

R.I.P. dear Madeline

Interview with The Successful Single Mom

I had the pleasure with speaking to Honorée Capron about her latest book, The Successful Single Mom. Here are some of the highlights from the interview:

HipM0M: Honorée, thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me today. I recently discovered your book, The Successful Single Mom and I thought, I’m a successful single mom. The book appealed to me and I want all single moms to feel successful, too. Can you tell me how you came up with the idea for putting this book together?

SSM: Being a single mom is the toughest job. I don’t know if you’re a single mom…

HipM0M: I am!

SSM: Ok, so you know! It’s the hardest job times 500,000! ... I was watching the Oprah show last May and she had some people on, and they were kind of emulating the show, “Ten Years Younger,” and they were talking about how these women had kind of let themselves go and what was the impetus for letting themselves go. And the woman that they introduced - it was the third woman, I believe - she came out and she was introduced by Oprah’s staff as being a single mom. And Oprah says, “She focuses on bringing home the money and taking care of the children. Of course she is last on her list.” And I thought, well I’m a single mom and I’ve been a single mom for six years…I never let myself go and I then I said, wait a second. Yes I did. I went through a tough time.

And I wondered if there was a book about making it through being a single mom that could’ve helped me get through that tough time and helped me feel successful and so I Googled and Amazoned and I couldn’t really find anything that really fit that criteria for me that would’ve been a book that helped me through the process, so I decided to write the book...from a coaching standpoint, but also, I had the experience of being a single mom.

HipM0M: What seems to be the number one challenge for the single moms that you’ve worked with?

SSM: Trying to do it all themselves, not asking for help, not creating a support system.

HipM0M: I definitely agree. I see that quite often. Now, why do you think that is? Why do you think single moms feel intimidated, or whatever it may be, to ask for help.?What is it about our personalities or just being a Mom that makes us feel we have to do it all? I mean, have you found the answer to that?

SSM: I think so! I think that we already have a list (of things to do that is) really long and if someone came and asked us for something we would be fine with it. We are so used to saying, “Yes.” As women we’re going to say yes, right? Because we’re taught to say yes to everything. But we also know that asking for help from someone else would mean that they would be adding to their To-Do list so we’re hesitant to ask for something from others but we would be fine with others asking us. In my work with moms, I encourage them to ask for what they need, which is something I wrote about in my latest blog post, Help a Sister Out.

HipM0M: I see that besides the printed edition of The Successful Single Mom, you can also purchase an e-book and the 100-Day Transformation Program. Can you tell me about what that is?

SSM: I actually started with the 100-Day Program. At 19, I created a 100-Day Program for myself. It was basically 100 Days, 3 Goals, a vision for each of those 100 days and things that I wanted to work on.

I then started using it about 5 years ago, I figured out that… single moms don’t want a big 350-page book. 100 pages is plenty…a quick book with a lot of meat.

I decided to see if this program would work for other single moms so I actually picked other single moms and coached them all for a quarter and it worked. 100 days worked because it was long enough that they could build momentum, see the results … not so long that they felt like it was going on forever.

And we were able to actually see the results. On the last day we celebrated 100 Days and you could see the change in these women. The women actually looked different and were more positive and you could tell that their energy levels had increased.

HipM0M: How do you define success?

SSM: If the bills are paid, I have $5 leftover for a pizza, my child is happy, she sees a happy mom, if my husband is happy…It’s not about the things. I can have all the pretty shoes I want, but if I’m arguing with my husband or my daughter is not happy, I don’t feel successful.

HipM0M: You were a single mom for several years but recently remarried. Congratulations!

SSM: Thank you! I was single and celibate for three years! During that time, I focused on myself. My number one relationship was with myself and I was really protective of my time. But when I was finally ready to date, I knew that as I became more attractive to myself, I became more attractive to other people.

HipM0M: Single moms are often concerned about the right time and exactly how to introduce their significant other into their children’s lives. Can you share what worked for you, or what didn’t work for you?

SSM: I work with a lot of clients and have several friends so my daughter is used to meeting new people. On the second date I had with my current husband, we went back to my house to leso that my babysitter go home. Our first date was about 8 hours. This second date was about six so we had gotten to know each other pretty well by this time.

I introduced him to my daughter and they got to spend time together for about 15 minutes, very briefly but as I was tucking her in that night she said, "I hope he stays your friend.” Kids have that instinctive part of them that really allows them to tune into people, so I really wanted to see her first impression was of him and how he'd be around her.

The bottom line is, don’t introduce someone until you know they’re going to stick. And when you know – you just know!

HipM0M: Are you working on any projects right now?

SSM: Yes, in fact, you’re the first one to know – this is Breaking News: I’m working with a co-author on a cookbook – The Successful Single Mom Cooks! It’s going to be a recipe book filled with great menu ideas that from start to finish will be on your table in 20 minutes.

HipM0M: This is great news, since I know I never want to eat the same things, or at the same time as my son. It’s challenging!

SSM: Right! No more franks and beans or the same old thing each night.

HipM0M: I look forward to that and to letting my readers know about your book, The Successful Single Mom. Is there anything else you want to share?

SSM: I have a group page on Facebook so that single moms can connect with one another. I also just want to acknowledge single moms. If this book appeals to you, it’s because you’re already an amazing mom and you want to be able to continue to be successful. You should give yourself a pat on the back!

If you take care of yourself, you will be successful. I know that the happier I am, the happier my daughter is. If we can model this for our kids then they will be inspired and feel successful.

If you're a single mom, you are are success so raise your glass to you, and the other single moms who continue to inspire us all to be our best, take care of ourselves and support others on similar journeys.

Read more reviews for The Successful Single Mom:

Get Your Life Back and Your Game On!

Chicago Single Mom Examiner

Cancer Is a Bitch

Gail Konop Baker bares all in her memoir Cancer Is a Bitch: (Or, I'd Rather Be Having a Midlife Crisis). I have no idea how Gail and I connected on Facebook, but I'm so glad we did. Once I discovered that she had written a book with such a hysterical title, I knew it was one that I'd enjoy reading.

"I imagine all the biopsied areas are cancerous and it spreads and...I become a pothead because why the hell not? I'll call my old pot connection from college and order the best. I'll get a giant purple bong and spend my days with my head floating in pillows of bong smoke, except I hate smoke. Smoke hurts my throat, which is why I was never much of a pot smoker in college. So I'll move to California instead and go to one of those bakeris for medically sanctioned users, like the one I saw on Weeds, and Mary Louise Parker and I will become best friends. I really like her. She's so down to earth and real and honest, except for the whole drug-dealing thing. But I'll help her find a better guy and do something about that brother who's driving her crazy. And when my hair falls out, she'll help me find a Farrah Fawcett wig. Finally, the hair I wanted in seventh grade. Hair that can't be mussed at night and saves me time in the morning - maybe this isn't so bad. Me stoned with good hair."

Once I started reading, I couldn't stop. I fell in love with the characters, and at one point felt a little guilty, as if I were watching this family through their kitchen window. So much emotion is exposed through Gail's descriptions, conversations and she reveals her most intimate thoughts that I now feel I know her so well.

"I want to be brave. I want to be big. I want to be gracious and cool. I want to be the Audrey Hepburn of cancer. I want to be like that girl who went to my high school, Heather Arnold. Tall and lithe and wide-eyed, she had leukemia and when her long diaphanous white-blond hair fell out, she tied the most gorgeous silk scarves around her delicate head, sloped bell-bottom pants off her jutting hips, wrapped her bony wrists in loose sheaves of silver bangles. She wore it well. She made cancer look sexy. As if the very fact that she wouldn't be here forever made her mysteroius and irresistible, more valuable than the rest of us."

The funny thing about this book is that it's not really about cancer. I know, many people would argue with me. But the way I see it, this book is about life. Life as a Mom, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a lover and a woman who just so happens to have breast cancer.

"I'm not sure I trust the future anymore. It doesn't exist until it happens and it doesn't happen if you don't exist."

For many of us, the crazy, scary things that life throws our way are oftentimes more uncomfortable and more distracting to those around us. Moms will relate to Gail's need to make everyone around her comfortable and secure instead of being concerned for herself.

"I stare out the window and count illuminated mile markers and think, I don't want Mike to lose me, because he hates losing things and I hate being lost so it really wouldn't work out for either of us."

I've read other memoirs about dealing with cancer but none are so real and raw as this one. Gail's family loves her to pieces and it's obvious from the way she refers to them that they are an amazing group of people who is lucky to have her in their lives.

"The things I want, I've told him, many times, in therapy and out, can't be bought.

I want a deep and abiding companionship and partnership. I want each of us to be the soft spot for the other to land on, I want our home and our family to nurture and enrich all of us, I want our level of trust to be so solid that we can laugh and cry out loud, with our entire being. I want us to feel open and free to be our best selves and now I want my health. But he can't buy that either, can't give me what I want, and that makes him feel utterly powerless as a physician and a husband."

Gail's cancer is definitely not something she takes lightly, but the fact that life must go on allows us to see that Gail, or anyone, can live a "normal" life despite a positive diagnosis.

Six Figure Moms Club

I attended a great networking event last night hosted by @aaswartz of Square Martini Media. There were over a dozen women there and I did not have the opportunity to speak with all of the women but I did meet several great people and even ran into someone I hadn't seen in a while.

We created vision boards, which I had never done before and we ate some yummy food provided by dining details and shared some laughs, discussed our children, our businesses and where we picture ourselves in the next year.

Many of the people there spoke about Facebook and Twitter including @alanunderkofler, @VPG_Printing, @missorganized, @EtsukoT, @searchguru and @katzni.

My vision board contains many interesting photos and words found in random magazines that spilled across the tables tonight. Themes that showed up on my board included family, love & romance, travel and of course, success and financial freedom.

If you haven't created a vision board for yourself, your business, or your family, check out the vision boards that people have posted online. You'll see it's as easy as putting down on paper, or in writing, what you see for your future.

No Comment

About a week ago, I was contacted by BlogHer contributor, Elana Centor, after she read one of my Facebook status updates about losing my job at the beginning of the year. She was writing a post about losing one's job and how children react. She was hoping to chat about my experience for her article. We tried to arrange a phone interview but our schedules never allowed us to talk over the phone.

One night, about 2am my time, I was getting caught up on my friends' status updates on Facebook when an IM chat screen opened up. It was Elana, also experiencing insomnia, so we began to instant message about the interesting conversations I had with my son. about getting laid off. She's pretty much captured the gist of it in the final article.

What Makes Sarah a Happy Healthy Hip Parent

Sarah is a single mom who I recently connected with on Facebook. We're both members of the Single Parents Connection group which is a great place to find support and like-minded individuals who truly know and understand the challenges of raising a family solo.

Sarah is the mother of a young girl named ZZ (no periods, not short for anything). She recently turned 3 and she and Sarah play by their own rules. Here's what Sarah had to say about her experience as a mom and finding the balance between work & family.

I am the Evaluation and Contract Manager for First 5 Napa County. I was lucky to find this position that only requires 20 hours a week. Because First 5 was created on the premise that the first 5 years of life are the most valuable developmentally, they are more than accommodating of my schedule and needs as a single mom of a 3 year old. I brought my daughter to the job interview! Since then she has accompanied me to conferences, meetings, and site visits!

What makes you happy, as a parent?

The birthday cakes I receive each morning, carefully created and handcrafted by my 3 year old. I receive the cake, candy and the Happy Birthday song every morning in bed (the cake is usually stars she pulled from a skirt, erasers, and beads)!

When my daughter will stop whatever she’s doing and exclaim, “Mama, Mama- can I tell you something?” I then say, “Yes.” She promptly tells me, “I love you.” My heart melts.


Walking around with stickers on my cheeks and a tiara on my head!

What’s the healthiest thing about your relationship with your daughter?

She and I play by our own rules. When my husband of 10 ½ years left, ZZ was only 8 months old and my world fell apart. Two and half years later I am grateful he gave me the opportunity to be a single mom. It has freed me up to live how I want to live! And that means ZZ and I play by our own rules!

When ZZ wakes up in the middle of the night she is ALWAYS welcome in my bed! We dance, hula hoop in our kitchen, jump on the bed, have Gak fights in the house with the neighbor boys, collect nature “treasures” (leaves, etc.) and bring them inside, leave the house in princess dresses, tiaras and sparkles on our cheeks!
Who cares what others think? We don’t! Oh yeah, and our 70 pound Siberian Husky, Marble, spends each morning in bed with us!

Kids say the cutest things. What is the funniest story you recall about ZZ?

ZZ has been asking me about my own mother quite a lot lately. She died about 10 years ago from cancer. I’ve been struggling with how to explain death to her keeping my own Buddhist beliefs present in the explanation.

Recently I was telling her that bodies eventually stop working and that people die, like my mother, that their spirits carry on but that we can’t be with them in the same way at this time. Her response was so sweet. She told me, “We better get your mommy a new body. Mama, you will hold your mommy’s head and I will fix a new body for her. Then we can know your mommy.”

What is your proudest parenting moment?

We were going to a birthday party recently where Cinderella was going to make an appearance. ZZ is obsessed with princesses right now. A friend asked ZZ who was going to be at the party. Her reply, “My mommy.”

What is your biggest parenting challenge?

Accepting that I won’t always “get things done.” I used to be someone who accomplished things, but now I sometimes spend hours just trying to get out of the house! Being a single parent - I struggle if I get sick or am just plain tired. I don’t have the same back-up which at times can be brutal.

What’s your favorite family-friendly restaurant?

Kelly’s No Bad Days Café, Napa, CA

What’s your favorite activity you enjoy with your daughter?

By far it’s going to the beach. My father, sister and I all surf. The beach is a very important place for us as a family. A family that surfs together, stays together!

What advice would you give to new or expecting parents?

Remove all expectations of yourself and your child.

Who or where do you go to for parenting advice?

I go to other single parents. I believe we have different needs and expectations of ourselves. It’s tough and we need to keep it realistic.

How would ZZ describe you?

She’d say mom participates, engages, plays, is honest and loves to kiss and snuggle!

Sarah and ZZ inspire me. Knowing that there's two child-like individuals out there dancing and leaving the house in princess attire is what makes this world such a special place. I think it could be said of most single parents but we tend to expect our children to have a bit more responsibility at an early age, which is why it's that much more important to us to allow our children (and ourselves) that time to just be children - silly, brave, proud, brilliant and curious.

I'm pleased to have met so many wonderful individuals - even if it has just been on line - and I encourage you to go out and explore your neighborhood and community for parents that you might not otherwise meet. Regardless of whether or not your children will get along, or are the same age, parents need other parents and you'd be surprised at just how much you will grow from having another experienced mom or dad to share a drink with or go to for advice.

And if you're not very outgoing, don't have time to socialize or simply can't imagine letting someone else into your life, meeting people online is another way to vent, express your opinions or learn from others. Thanks to everyone who took the time to share their lives and experiences here with the series of parent profiles. I'll be sharing my answers to these same questions shortly.

Next Generation Parenting

Through Facebook, I was introduced to a parenting blog with great articles and resources. Next Generation Parenting. Founded by a husband and wife who have a baby on the way, the site is set to launch in early 2009. They're looking for bloggers to contribute to their site. Already, I'm impressed with the content that I've come across, from the article on Teaching Kids about Money to that of fingerprinting your child - the articles are relevant, interesting and include some fabulous contributors, all in one site.

Head on over to read articles categorized under education, teenagers, communication, child development, safety, special children, motherhood, entertainment and several others.

You can also join their Facebook group to be kept up to date on the latest articles and resources.

What Makes Marla a Happy Healthy Hip Parent

Marla and I met through the Single Parents Connection on Facebook.

Marla has one daughter who is nine years old. Apparently, she has the energy of a few children but that just means she's a truly amazing young woman.

I asked Marla to answer some questions about her daughter and her role as a mom. Here's what she had to say which confirmed the fact that she, too, is a happy, healthy, hip parent.

What makes you happy, as a parent?

This is a difficult question. I love traveling, which is something I have not done much of without my daughter. Exploring new places always leaves me feeling content. That said, I currently enjoy quiet time - time to read, work on projects, or even nap. I enjoy spending time writing or talking with friends about something other than parenting (okay, parenting sometimes too!). Although I help out with my daughter's ballet school, I have found that I do it for me as well as to support her. I enjoy working with the costumes, being around the other parents, and organizing the community outreach that we do.

What's the healthiest thing about your relationship with your daughter?

My daughter and I enjoy a healthy relationship in many ways. We spend time together without distraction which allows us the ability to connect in silence or via communication. We travel together, exercise together, walk to and from school together... neither of us is defined by the other but we are partners in our desire to explore life and learn all that we can.

Kids say the cutest things. What is the funniest story you recall about your child?

This has to be one of the funniest stories though it is not one that I enjoyed too much at the time! A family friend arrived at my house one December to take my then three-year-old daughter and myself to the airport for our holiday trip. As I was upstairs gathering the last of our things, my daughter informs this man that "Mamma has big breasts!" He handled it so very well while I blushed brightly. Sure, it is the truth, but..

What was your proudest parenting moment?

I am proud of my daughter each time she takes her position in ballet or each time she steps on stage. She is doing what she loves and investing so much into it. I am proud of her as she jumps for joy when she sees that doing her best in something really makes a difference... and she shares this with friends. I am overwhelmed when she recognizes that her life is different and loves it for that difference over trying to be like everyone else; when she recognizes and appreciates what the difference gives to her. When she takes responsibility for her actions, lives passionately, is kind to others, and accepts that people are different and how wonderful that is.

What is your biggest parenting challenge?

My most significant challenge is two fold. For me it is that I don't see well. When other parents can read to their kids or label objects, I can not. I am watching my daughter grow up, but it is not in the same vivid detail that other parents enjoy. It is a challenge at the worst of times and a gift at other times as I have learned to see her with my heart.

The other challenge comes with being a single parent. It is ensuring the line between child and parent exists. That line can become blurred as the relationship we enjoy sometimes seems more like a friendship. I think it is difficult for my daughter as I am everything from friend to parent to disciplinarian to nurturer.

What's your favorite family-friendly restaurant?

There are places I will not take my daughter but most places... if I go, she goes. We try to go early to avoid the crowds. I don't go to exclusive establishments often, so the idea has been to teach my child to eat in differing environments. It is much easier now that she is older! (Italian places have always been more friendly than most.)

What's your favorite activity you enjoy with your child?

We spend lots of time outside exploring or exercising. Traveling and exploring are things we enjoy doing together. We also enjoy history and the arts - visiting the Kennedy Center as often as possible!

What advice would you give to new or expecting parents?

From the moment they cut the cord, your child is learning to fly. Cherish every moment; the challenges and the joys. Take the time to share your child's life and remember that it is a life that is vastly different than your own. It is a wonderful feeling to watch a child develop into their own person, discover their passions and loves, and spread their wings!!

Who or where do you go to for parenting advice?

I usually don't. I will talk to this and that friend or her father for input or as a sounding board, but I don't really seek advice as much as I seek someone to listen.

How would your daughter describe you?

My daughter describes me as a "good mom," the "best mom," and even her friend. I give "the best cuddles" and she knows that "You support my dreams. That is one of your dreams."

She said that I am tall and have brown hair - which is a physical description.

A few weeks ago I asked her to describe the ad she would write were she seeking a new mom (long story behind that question). She said that she wanted someone to love her and care for her. Someone who would have fun with her and keep her safe... and feed her spaghetti and take her to ballet. She wanted someone just like me.

And maybe that is how she would describe me. I do know that she doesn't want me to change one little bit (though she tells me that I am not as funny as I think I am... but what parent is?)

What Makes Jeff a Happy Healthy Hip Parent

I met Jeff Tincher through Twitter, when I commented - sarcastically - to one of his tweets.

Jeff writes over at Daddy's Toolbox when he's not working (at home, or at the office). During the day, he is a developor and consultant for Springhouse, a computer training and consulting company, located in Exton, Pennsylvania.

Jeff has two great children. His son Logan is 4 and daughter, Kaleigh, is 2.

I asked Jeff several questions about his role as a parent and he shared several stories about his relationship with his children.

1) What makes you happy, as a parent?

I like watching my son get excited when I tell him he has done a good job or like the other day when I told him that I took his drawings and the paper that he wrote the alphabet on to my work. I told him I had my friends (coworkers) use it to help them spell! He was so excited. As for my daughter, she and I have the Father/Daughter bond going. We rub noses at night - that is our thing!

2) What is your proudest parenting moment?

I've had a few proud parenting moments so far in my children's 4 and 2 years of life. There are things that I can't believe our son knows how to do, so that makes me very proud. Like the other day he was writing all of this alphabet, his name and some other things. He's really good with that! He then was drawing pumpkins. I watched him draw a perfect pumpkin, down to the 2 triangle eyes, nose and mouth! I was shocked.

3) What is your biggest parenting challenge?

Dealing with whining. I immediately go insane at the first whine. :-)

4) What’s your favorite family-friendly restaurant?

We like Red Robin in Exton, PA. Oh EXCEPT when the "BIRD" is there. It scares my kids!

5) What advice would you give to new or expecting parents?

Sometimes you just have to "give in" or else it's a battle with your kids. Like right now, I'm listening to my wife put our four-year-old to bed. He is fussing and screaming that it is NOT a school night. Well, it's Monday night so, "Yes it is!" I would have caved in by now and given in. My wife is more stubborn and is up there trying to make him understand.

6) Who or where do you go to for parenting advice?

I mainly ask our other friends with kids. I've set up a group on Facebook for the parents of kids that go to our daycare. It's starting to help. We are building a support network.

I think it's a fabulous idea to start an online support group of parents that you know. Playdates and playgroups were first created for this same reason, but it's great to have a place to go 24 hours a day to ask questions and chat with other adults after the kids are asleep - or during nap time.

What makes you a happy, healthy, hip parent?

Giving Thanks

This year, I'm grateful for:

My son - He's nearly five and he is becoming such a mature young man. He makes me laugh on a regular basis and inspires me to be the best mom I can possibly be. I'm so proud of him and all he's learning and accomplishing.

My son's teachers - There are many teachers who work with my son on a weekly basis. From the two teachers in his classroom, to the Spanish, Art, Music, PE and Enrichment classes, these amazing educators put so much time and energy into each and every child that they teach.

My parents - My mom and dad are always there for me when I need them. They've flown out to San Diego so many times since my son was born that I couldn't possibly pay them back for all the miles and airport adventures they've experienced on our behalf. They're flying out again in mid-December and I couldn't be more thrilled to have them here for both Christmas and my son's 5th birthday.

My sister - She's put up with me for years and still manages to listen, offer advice and know me better than anyone ever could. She's a great mom, a super-cool aunt, a wonderful friend, fabulous wife, and an amazing massage therapist!

My ex-husband - He's put up with my moods and listened to my opinions whether he's agreed with me or not (mostly not). He's always there for our son and helps me out when I truly need it. He's a fantastic father and I love seeing my son's face light up when he gets dropped off at his dad's house or when he gets picked up from mine.

My co-workers - These are the women I see on a daily basis. They've seen me through a wedding, pregnancy and supported me through my divorce. They have truly become great friends and mentors who have guided me in my career and helped me in "real" life.

My colleagues - For providing emotional support, offering suggestions and allowing me to do the same.

My clients - For trusting me with their parenting issues and allowing me to work closely with their families and recommending me to other moms and dads.

My readers - I'm truly grateful for my readers, who loyally visit the sites I write at (here, Intent, and the Examiner) and leave comments, provide great feedback and share my site with others.

My friends - For those who follow me on Twitter, Facebook, or who know me in the offline world, I could not have gotten through the last few years without them, especially those who listened to me bitch, complain and allowed me to share my random thoughts at wee hours in the morning.

What and who are you thankful for this year? If you have a blog, add yours to the I am Thankful Meme, hosted by Mommy Community.

What Makes Amy a Happy Healthy Hip Parent

I met Amy through our connection on both Twitter and Facebook. She joined the Happy Healthy Hip Parenting group and introduced me to two great sites that she is a part of. She is a blogger at ParentSphere and works behind the scenes for Great Au Pair.

Amy is mom to three-year-old Hailey. She was kind enough to take some time to answer some questions about her experience as a parent and offers some great advice for expecting parents.

1) What makes you happy, as a parent?

Oh my, so many things! I look at the world so differently now. I notice my surroundings more because I see them through my daughter’s eyes. I mostly love having someone to teach. It’s a fantastic feeling knowing that she’s learning something new each day and I play a big part of that.

2) What’s the healthiest thing about your relationship with your child?

We are very open with each other. Granted, she’s only three, but we communicate with each other very well. I hope we can keep the lines of communication open for a long, long time.

3) Kids say the cutest things. What is the funniest story you recall about your daughter?

I probably Tweet something new and cute she says everyday! One of the funniest things I always tell people is when she was just under two years old and she needed a diaper change. I told her it was time for the diaper change and she patted her butt, looked up at me and matter-of-factly said, “Nope, stays in my diapee.” That was the first time she really started showing attitude.

4) What is your proudest parenting moment?

Tough question. I have many “proud” parenting moments, hard to pick out just one. I feel very proud when we’re out and she uses her manners. I always feel good about that. She’s very polite and that is important to me.

5) What is your biggest parenting challenge?

Picking my battles and being consistent. I want to maintain openness with her throughout the years, especially when she’s school-aged. My goal is to have her always feel comfortable confiding in me, no matter what.

6) What’s your favorite family-friendly restaurant?

Oh, we LOVE dining out. I suppose my absolute favorite is Red Robin in Plainfield, IL. We go there a lot. My daughter gets her balloons, the food is good and we always have a fun time.

7) What’s your favorite activity you enjoy with Hailey?

Just being out and about. I love taking her to the zoo, museums and to the park.

8) What advice would you give to new or expecting parents?

Be prepared to be totally unprepared! Each day, each stage is something different. Embrace it. I never believed it would go as fast as it has but here I am, with a three-year-old already and I was once wishing the baby stages away! Soak it all in, ladies.

9) Who or where do you go to for parenting advice?

I generally consult friends in online communities like Twitter and The Motherhood. Chatting with friends over the phone and running this or that by them. My mom. Of course I still go to her too.

10) How would your daughter describe you?

She’s still unbiased. Though, I’m pretty sure if you asked her, she would tell you that I’m the coolest thing since sliced bread.

What Makes Carla a Happy Healthy Hip Parent

I met Carla through our Single Parents Connection on Facebook. She’s a single mother of three. Her oldest, Bud, is 13. Kaitybug is 11 and Miss E is 6.

Like many single parents, Carla works numerous jobs. She is a substitute teacher, an on-air talent for Froggy 106.7 and a Recovery Coordinator for her church.

Carla took some time out of her hectic schedule to talk about what makes her a happy, healthy, hip parent.

1) What makes you happy, as a parent (besides when your kids finally fall asleep)?

As a single mom I’m not ashamed to admit it’s having a night off!

2) What’s the healthiest thing about your relationship with your children?

I let them feel what they feel. I was taught “cry today, get up tomorrow,” but I want my kids to know that it’s ok to have a bad day. I want them to live life instead of plowing through it.

3) Kids say the cutest things. What is the funniest story you recall about each of your children?

Miss E. is the comedian of the family but her most recent funny moment was this Halloween. She was a bee… “so I can sting the boys.”

When Bud was in sixth grade we started talking about his future and how to achieve his goals. He wanted to get online and look at colleges so I showed him how; five minutes went by and I heard “Mom I’ve found the college for me!” I asked how he knew it was the one to which he replied, “Because it has two floors in the cafeteria!” I was quickly reminded that he’s still very much a kid.

Kaitybug likes to tell on me. I got pulled over by a police officer for speeding and while he was standing at the window asking for my information she piped up and said “Hey Mom, does he know you ran that red light too?”

4) What is your biggest parenting challenge?

Crawling into bed at night and not having someone there to fall into.

5) What’s your favorite family-friendly restaurant (name and city, please).

Casa Mare in Fort Wayne, IN.

6) What’s your favorite activity you enjoy with your children?

It’s different with each of them…I love when I put Miss E. to bed and we say our prayers. She is truly selfless in those moments. With Kaitybug she and I are growing closer and I’m watching her become a young lady. I love to listen to her talk about her friends while she helps me cook. And my son…my favorite thing to do with him is take him out to eat alone. I get his full attention and he gets mine. It means a lot to him, which in turn means a lot to me.

7) How would your children describe you?

A few weeks ago we had a meeting at church which my son and I were apart of. We each had assigned seats so he sat at the back of the room and I was at the front. At the beginning of the meeting, we were asked if anyone wanted to share good things going on or blessings in their life. A few people stood up and shared and then my son stood up. He said with a trembling lip, “I am so thankful my mom is my mom. She taught us about God and that changed our life. My mom is my hero.”

My children and I have been through so much in their short time on this Earth and that night he gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, they see my heart above my past. They hear my love above my words. The feel God above the moment.

8) Who or where do you go to for parenting advice?

I have an inner circle of friends that know my heart and know my past. They aren’t afraid to tell me the truth and I have the utmost respect for each of them so I turn to them often. But before any of that, I pray. I simply pray.

9) What advice would you give to new or expecting parents?

Your job is to be their parent not their friend.

10) What is your proudest parenting moment?

When someone tells me how much they enjoy being around my kids, not because of my parenting but because of the people they are…I think my kids are awesome and love to hear when others see them that way too!

Carla is an inspiration to all parents and I truly believe that her kids are the wonderful people they are because of her. Children learn by example, and through hard work, discipline and balancing work and family successfully, Carla’s three children are just as successful; just as happy, healthy and hip.