Parentella

Are you looking for ways to help monitor your child's homework and help them stay on track during the upcoming school year? Are you a busy parent who has a hard time managing your child's school calendar as well as your own?

Parentella is an online portal for all things relating to your child's classroom. The dashboard includes a section for Homework, Field Trips, Announcements and Special Activities. There's even a gallery for teachers to share photos from classroom events and where parents can learn more about what goes on between drop-off and pick-up!

Even though my son's school has their own system for providing parents with information, I plan on recommending this to their staff since it's a beautifully designed, easy-to-use program that allows parents and teachers to communicate and make sure everyone's on the same page. And it's all password protected to ensure the privacy of your family.

So whether you have a child in daycare or high school, Parentella is a wonderful tool to help you remember what it is your child is assigned to work on over the holiday break, or what the school supply list included when you lose the paperwork that comes over the summer.

In the News

These following articles in today's San Diego Union-Tribune caught my attention:

• Teen Maternity: Birth rates for adolescents is on the rise
• Clean-air cargo fee opposed by Palin
• Mom steals daughter's ID to join cheerleading squad
• San Diego kindergartner disappears from school campus
• Coquille Indian Tribe becomes first tribe to legalize same-sex marriage

What stories from your local newspapers should parents around the nation be aware of?

Pro-Obama

Dear Word Warrior,

I'm a bit concerned about your concern for this plan. The last sentence of this plan, which you included in your post, clearly states that this would be a "voluntary universal pre-school," so, since you are not in agreement with having your child placed in this type of program, you would not be obligated to do so.

My son has been in full-time educational programs since he was 18 months old. He's now 4 1/2 and is a smart, polite and thoughtful little boy. He spent the first year and a half of his life with either his father or I, and I was lucky enough to be able to bring him with me to work every day (since I was breastfeeding) until he was 7 months old.

For many parents who don't have the option to stay home with their children, this "voluntary universal pre-school" is a great program and I fully stand behind Obama (for this and many other reasons).

I am also Pro-Choice and donate money on a regular basis to both NARAL and Planned Parenthood. I believe these organizations are doing many great thing for men and women of all ages. And, just to be clear, I am a Mom. I have never had an abortion nor would I ever have one. I do believe, however, that each one of us should have the power to make that decision for ourselves. Who am I (or anyone else) to judge another's actions?

I appreciate the fact that there are programs in place that Obama has outlined that are meant to help prevent unplanned pregnancies from occurring in the first place:

Barack Obama is an original co-sponsor of legislation to expand access to contraception, health information and preventive services to help reduce unintended pregnancies. The Prevention First Act will increase funding for family planning and comprehensive sex education that teaches both abstinence and safe sex methods. The Act will also end insurance discrimination against contraception, improve awareness about emergency contraception, and provide compassionate assistance to rape victims.

I hadn't planned on using my blog to discuss politics or share my personal views on the upcoming elections, but I feel quite compelled to speak up against those who, instead of defending their beliefs and justifying the reasons for voting for whoever it is they plan on voting for, they are instead, spending their time badmouthing those who they don't agree with.

We have the power, in this country, to vote for who we believe would make the best President. Of course, no one's perfect and it's rather unlikely that we will agree 100% with each and every opinion, thought, action or philosophy of those who are on the ballot.

What really gets under my skin is that you would use manipulation and try to get to people, emotionally, with the graphic nature of the video posted on your blog. I wouldn't dare link to it, or suggest that anyone view it, no matter what side they take on abortion and the types of abortion procedures that take place in our world.

I would be very interested to know what you suggest or what your *ideal* President believes about babies born to parents who didn't intentionally conceive them. We all make mistakes and bad decisions. Many of us have experienced the consequences of the choices that we make and learn from these mistakes, or from others'.

What do you think would be the best option for these unwanted babies (approximately 1.3 million abortions are performed each year in the U.S.)?

Obama may not have all of the answers, but I truly believe that his dedication to the people and our rights is of great value to our country.

I'll see you at the polls.

Sincerely,

Hip_M0M

Where Do the Children Play?

Last night, I attended a fund raising event at my son's school. Not only did I meet some great people from the community, but I also had the opportunity to hear some fabulous speakers and meet authors of books that I highly recommend.

The event was entitled PLAY: Creating Space for Imaginative Play in an Over-Scheduled Society. Along with the keynote speakers (Jan Tober, Mallika Chopra and Dr. Anthony DeMaria), they showed the PBS documentary, Where Do the Children Play? which was phenomenal. I highly recommend it to all parents, grandparents, educators and anyone else interested in child development.

I would really like to know where I can send people to see the film for themselves. I've searched at both ShopPBS.Org and the official PBS website but it is so new that it isn't yet available for purchase!

Why Every Parent Needs to be Educated

My job as a parent is to ___________ my child.

Go ahead. FILL IN THE BLANK. The only rule is that you are only allowed one, and only one, choice. What one word would you use to complete the sentence above? Already, in my head, I've been struggling with choosing from over a dozen possibilities.

"Every single day of parenthood forces us to juggle the practical along with the ineffable, to strive for connectedness along with autonomy, to quarrel and question and, in the end, to let go." - Anne Pleshette Murphy (Blindsided by a Diaper)

My job as a parent is the most demanding, challenging, frustrating, exciting, rewarding and powerful role I could every take on. If anyone told me (I think they did but perhaps I wasn't listening) exactly what parenthood would be like, I wouldn't believe them. I wouldn't understand because you can never truly comprehend what being a parent really means until you're there; looking at your little child who is not taking NO for an answer.

I've been working for the same company now for seven years and, although I had many other jobs prior to this one, I don't recall any job that I had that did not require some sort of training. Why should parenting be any different?

People joke about how easy it is to make a baby. There's no application to fill out, no fees involved in the actual creation of a child (unless you calculate the bar tab at the end of the night). But seriously, why is it that new parents are expected to sit through birthing classes and learn how to change diapers and perform CPR on infant sized dolls yet there are no requirements on having to take parenting classes? After all, the infant stage is over before you know it, but parenting is FOREVER.

"A baby, it turns out, is more permanent than a tattoo."
- Michael Finkel (Welcome to the Babyhouse)

When I became a new mom, I struggled with trying to be the best mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister, and role model I could possibly be. I was convinced that I could do everything myself, even without my husband's help.

I feel sorry for those "...men...determined to be better fathers than their own dads but who felt criticized by their wives every time they even tried."
- Amy Sohn (Confessions of a Sugar Mommy)

Now that I realize that many families face the same challenges and issues behind closed doors, it's much easier for me to forgive myself. And I find myself warning every parent I know so that, hopefully, they won't make the same mistakes I did.

"The Who Has the Harder Job? Show had begun - and it ran for more seasons
than I care to count. Inevitably, we both ended up losers."
- Susan Maushart (Where the Bruises Are)

And I lost big time. I lost my husband, the family that I created and my sense of identity had to be completely redefined.

"...babies begin to smile at exactly this point - six to eight weeks in -
as a matter of survival...this is also the time parents stop smiling at each other."
- Nicholas Weinstock (Being a Baby)

I was introduced to the Redirecting Children's Behavior class by, none other than, my ex-husband. Our son was going through a terrible stage (as we all were) and all three of us were frustrated, exhausted and emotionally bankrupt.

"...he loved [our son] with an over-the-top abandon that he never showed me."
- Elizabeth Larsen (To Jealousy and Beyond)

My ex-husband and I each took the five-week course - separately - and slowly implemented the skills and tools we learned in each of our homes. I noticed a change instantly. Not only was I feeling less stressed, but our daily routines were going much smoother, we were laughing more (and crying less) and there was an overall sense of hope that embraced my son and I as we worked on improving our relationship by simply adjusting the way we communicated with one another.

"...just as children fundamentally alter the nature of marriage...
children affect the end of marriage even more profoundly."
- David Elliot Cohen (Life Sentence)

I don't know where we'd be today if it weren't for the RCB program and the information, support and encouragement I received from the class. I'm an instructor now myself, and if there's one piece of advice I could give to parents, whether they're expecting their first baby or already have children, it would be this: educate yourselves, share your stories, support one another, Make Time for Yourself and laugh often. You won't regret it.

"...if couples can find ways to talk openly -
with each other and with other couples - about the changes they're encountering,
they'll be better equipped to navigate the challenges."
- Dana Bedford Hilmer (editor, Blindsided by a Diaper)

To learn more about parent education and the types of classes and workshops offered, please visit the Happy Healthy Hip Parenting website.

*Each author quoted in the above post has an essay published in the recent book, Blindsided by a Diaper: Over 30 Men and Women Reveal How Parenthood Changes a Relationship)

Toy of the Year Awards

12 toys, and their makers, were honored for innovation and creativity at the Toy Of The Year Awards (TOTY) ceremony hosted during the International Toy Fair in New York City. The winners were:

• Toy of the Year: Air Hogs Havoc Heli Laser Battle from Spin Master.
• Most Innovative Toy of the Year: Smart Cycle from Physical Learning-Fisher Price.
• Infant/Preschool Toy of the Year: Moon Sand Adventure Island from Spin Master.
• Electronic Entertainment Toy of the Year: Power Tour Electric Guitar from Tiger Electronics.
• Educational Toy of the Year: Smart Cycle from Physical Learning-Fisher Price.
• Activity Toy of the Year: LEGO City from LEGO Systems, Inc.
• Game of the Year: Rubik’s Revolution from Techno Source.
• Specialty Toy of the Year: Snap Circuits from Elenco.
• Outdoor Toy of the Year: RipStik Caster Board from RipStik U.S.A.
• Girl Toy of the Year: Little Pet Shop: Display & Troop Groovy Girls from Manhattan Toy.
• Boy Toy of the Year: Transformers Movie Deluxe Figures from Hasbro, Inc.
• Property of the Year: Hannah Montana licensed by Disney Consumer Products.

Parenting Workshop Schedule

Join us for one or more of the following Happy Healthy Hip Parenting Workshops held at Java Mama in La Mesa, CA:

All workshops are part of the Positive Parenting Program. We encourage you to come and meet other parents committed to enriching their relationship with a child. There will be an early childhood educator on hand to supervise children in the play area.

Balancing Love & Discipline
Thursday, April 3, 6 - 7:30 pm

Introduces the concept of firm and kind, unconditional love, and the value of more action and less talk.

Handling Sibling Rivalry
Thursday, April 24, 6 -7:30 pm

There is a difference between sibling rivalry and sibling conflict. Learn how to identify and correct each behavior.

The Terrific Twos
Thursday, May 15, 6 - 7:30 pm

Use developmental information and the mistaken goals of power and attention to make this challenging time wonderful.

Parenting Workshops are $30 per person or $45 for two enrollments. Enrollment forms are available via email. Please contact Happy Healthy Hip Parenting with any questions and please subscribe to our weekly newsletter, coming in April and featuring News for Parents to Use.

Click Here

I love sites that truly help others by having users simply click here or there. I have two sites like this to share and I'm equally excited about both.

FREE RICE is a site which not only helps feed the hungry but helps increase your English language vocabulary.

For every word you correctly define (you get four choices to select from), Free Rice will donate 20 grains of rice through the United Nations to help end world hunger.

I know, 20 grains of rice doesn't really sound like much, but this site is as addicting as solitaire once was.

I'm proud to say that I donated at least 200 grains of rice during my first 4 minutes on the site. I learned many new words and correctly defined even more.

The site does come with a warning, however: This game may make you smarter.

It can also help you:

• Formulate your ideas better
• Write better papers, emails and business letters
• Speak more precisely and persuasively
• Comprehend more of what you read
• Read faster because you comprehend better
• Get better grades in high school, college and graduate school
• Score higher on tests like the SAT, GRE, LSAT and GMAT
• Perform better at job interviews and conferences
• Sell yourself, your services, and your products better
• Be more effective and successful at your job

After you have done Free Rice for a couple of days, you may notice an odd phenomenon. Words that you have never consciously used before will begin to pop into your head while you are speaking or writing. You will feel yourself using and knowing more words.

The Breast Cancer Site is a shopping site like many others, however, each and every purchase you make goes toward the donation of a mammogram for women in need.

They have something for just about everyone on your gift list: your sister, girlfriends, mom, kids and even pets.

International shipping options are offered on select products so take advantage of these low-cost gifts (check the SALE section) and help raise awareness and support a great cause.

Not in the mood for shopping? That's OK. Just CLICK HERE to donate mammograms.

Kid TV

Made In China

It's hard to explain to people - who have never heard of Kane/Miller - why we don't publish any books about Thanksgiving.

Take a look around our website and you'll quickly discover the fact that our books are a little different. There's a flag on each individual book page to represent which country the book originates from.

Our tagline - Award-winning children's books from around the world - should alert people to the fact that our books are not about U.S. history, U.S. holidays, or U.S. artists, but I can't even begin to count the number of times I've been asked at a trade show if we have books about Native Americans or on President's Day.

And I can't even begin to explain how many times I've had to tell people that our submission policy is unlike any other publisher's guidelines since we work with authors and illustrators that reside outside of the United States.

In a world that is slowly becoming smaller and considering how quickly our children are realizing how accessible it is to reach others in countries on the opposite side of the globe, I'm still somewhat surprised that there are people out there who have not heard of Kane/Miller, or are unsure of what to think about our vision and our goal of opening young minds to the world through literature.

Just recently, there has been a discussion about banning books (perhaps that's the wrong term) that were printed in China. Until this became an issue, Kane/Miller was known for the high quality books that we print, with regard to the paper quality and durability of the books that we publish, along with the book's content.

Parents and educators are in the middle of a frustrating time as toys are being pulled off the shelf and health scares related to these particular toys are presented to us in the media. I feel for the parents of those children who have been effected by the chemicals found in these toys.

What I don't understand is the idea that removing books printed in China from library shelves would help to keep our children safe (or healthy). What our public and our communities are in need of is education regarding safety issues and learning how to reach those inside the corporations which have allowed such items to be sold in the first place.

As a parent, I realize that my argument is emotionally based, but who wouldn't want to protect their child? We wouldn't allow for lead paint to be in our homes or in any products that we bring home for our children and yet, I find it very difficult to believe that books from China could be doing my son any harm.

Kane/Miller is working on providing certifications that show that our books are safe and should hopefully encourage those who might have doubts to continue to purchase books based on the quality of the writing and illustrations, rather than where the product was shipped into the United States from.

Our nation has been purchasing toys "Made in China" for so long now that sadly, we've forgotten that there are companies here who have been making educational, high-quality products for our children as well.

I highly encourage everyone reading this to think outside the (toy) box and pick out toys - and other items - that you feel comfortable with, no matter what that criteria might be. Please don't judge a book by its cover, or the country that produced it.

The media has spoken and while I applaud those who have already been purchasing items for their little ones that don't have batteries or are not made of plastic, I realize that there are those that simply don't have the resources to discover what else might be out there.

Earlier this year, my post entitled Batteries Not Included contained a list of companies who do offer these types of toys. I urge you to check them out, set aside some money to purchase items from them for the holidays or birthdays and spread the word to others.

For the Love of...

Jen Robinson is a smart and thoughtful blogger. She's one of a handful of kidlit blogsters who I correspond with and have tried to meet up with in her hometown of San Jose, where I also have family.

I was away last week and fell behind on my blog reading. Jen Robinson's Book Page is always the place where I find myself slowing down, nodding in agreement, and thinking how intimidating Jen is (she's so much more worldly and intelligent than me).

Anywho, she mentioned in a recent post, her love of reading and how she feels it led to her education at Duke University. I am convinced that my love of reading and my desire to be close to books led me to my dream job, but I digress. This is not about work or college.

My story begins in late 2003. I'm eight months pregnant and sitting on the floor in front of my (then) husband, surrounded by dozens of other just-as-pregnant couples, all of whom are strangers. The two teachers are irritating me, as is everyone there (hormones) and I'm emotional, tired, hungry and just want to know when I'd be able to receive an epidural (I had no idea that I'd end up having a c-section at this point).

At one point, one of the teachers asks us all, one at a time, to share one of our partner's traits that we hope will be passed on to our unborn child. Luckily, my partner and I are in the middle of the half-circle so I'm grateful that I will have time to listen to every one's responses and to come up with an even better one of my own.

People around us are saying things like, "Her smile, or his sense of humor," along with other physical traits that I can't understand. I mean, I of course want my child to be healthy and happy, but I never thought about wanting him to have certain physical features.

When it came to our turn to speak, I was proud of both my answer and my partner. I spoke up loud and clear and let everyone know that the one trait in my partner I hoped would be passed along to our son would be his work ethic. He's a very hard worker and does everything he can to provide for his family.

I thought this was it. I was done. I no longer had to speak or participate for the rest of the day so I let my guard down. My partner (who I couldn't see because I was leaning back upon his chest), said, "I hope our son inherits her love of reading." I would've fainted if I hadn't already been sitting down. Tears poured out of my eyes and I was literally choking up over his thoughtful response and probably the biggest compliment one could ever pay me.

I have been working hard every day to make sure that my son does inherit my love of reading. I think that part of my job is done, as he enjoys heading to the library, the local bookstore, or my office, which is of course lined with bookshelves.

My son is already a hard worker and I can see how dedicated and focused he is on whatever task or challenge is presented to him. He's inherited his dad's smile, his mother's patience and his grandparents' red hair. And who knows? He could end up at Duke someday, too.

Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult

This book really opened my eyes as a parent and how *easy* it is to miss important signals about our own children. My son is only three, but I'm glad I read this book now and have recommended it to parents and teachers since it deals with a high school shooting and how the shooter evolved.

Jodi Picoult jumps from year to year - past to present - to tell the story of Peter during different stages of his life, the victim who ends up retaliating and fighting back against the numerous bullies who pick on him, beat him up, make fun of him and literally make his life miserable on a daily basis.

As a mom, I wanted to embrace this young boy and protect him but then you see that his mom does just that and how the consequences of her behavior plays out. You see his childhood friend slowly forget and ignore him when he needs allies more than anything.

If you've ever made fun of someone or been made fun of you can certainly find something in this story that you can relate to. If you're a parent or educator working with children of any age, you can't help but be affected by this touching and heartbreaking story of a young boy who was too afraid to ask for help and a witness who didn't know how to speak up or speak out against the attackers (aka bullies) until it was much too late.

Jodi Picoult, 41, is the bestselling author of fourteen previous novels: Songs of the Humpback Whale: A Novel in Five Voices (1992), Harvesting the Heart: A Novel (1994), Picture Perfect (1995); Mercy (1996), The Pact: A Love Story (P.S.) (1998); Keeping Faith: A Novel (P.S.) (1999), Plain Truth (2000), Salem Falls (2001), Perfect Match: A Novel (2002), Second Glance: A Novel (2003), My Sister's Keeper: A Novel (2004), Vanishing Acts: A Novel (2005), and The Tenth Circle: A Novel (2006).

Transformers and...making babies?

My son is into Transformers these days. What kid isn't? The marketing execs sitting inside the air-conditioned offices of Hasbro have the market cornered. Between the movie, geared towards teens and adults (my age), who remember the first generation Transformers, and the assorted toys, video games, and costumes (my son is going to be Optimus Prime for Halloween this year), transforming robot/vehicles have taken over the world, at least my world.

Mister Potato Head Transformers: Optimash Prime

This morning I was trying to figure out how to get my son involved with me in the kitchen as he was begging for me to put a video on for him (you'll never guess which one). I hadn't made him cheezy eggs in a while - Mommy's specialty - so I got the eggs, tortillas and cheese from the refrigerator and he happily obliged when I asked him to help. He climbed up on his step stool and started to mix the eggs. I quickly pointed out that he was transforming them and he got even more excited to help me. Very quick thinking considering I had not had my daily dose of caffeine at that point.

Fast forward another hour and we're in the car, on my way to drop off my son at preschool. He's almost four, so he's at that stage of curiosity and questions - most of which I can't answer. Out of the blue, as we're pulling out of the driveway he asks me, "Who built our house?," to which I replied, "Well...a long time ago construction workers built the building that we live in." Easy answer, so I thought. He then asked if they built it when I was little. "Yep. A long time ago," I replied.

As I make the standard U-turn at the corner, he then asks, following the train-of-thought of a preschooler, "Was I in your belly when you were little?" and, for some reason (can I blame it on the lack of caffeine again?) I say, "Sort of...You see, Mommies carry eggs inside them and Daddies carry sperm. When babies are made, the egg and sperm transform into a baby and Mommies carry them in their belly." Notice how I use the words sperm and egg but fail to see the irony in using belly as opposed to uterus.

There was much silence afterwards as I bit my tongue, about not correcting myself and my son, imagining the egg and sperm transforming, much like the egg that he helped transformed for breakfast, which he then watched me cook before eating it.

I cannot imagine what he must have been thinking after that. I did buy a picture book recently to prepare for this kind of conversation but I was not prepared for the question to come up in the car, when we couldn't really look each other in the eye and really talk. I imagine he has many more questions now so I have the book ready for when the time is finally right. Maybe I should put it in the car.

By the way, I'm not sure if I would recommend using the word transform when talking about making babies, or the word eggs, although that one you might not be able to avoid.

Nature vs. Nurture

Much has been written and talked about regarding the memoir, The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. I tried to avoid much of it before reading the book since I enjoy reading books fresh. In other words, books that I have no pre-conceived notions about, one way or another.

Having grown up in a family where addiction played a key role, this book struck a chord, although I certainly could not relate to much of the narrator's experiences, as my family was intact and had no visible signs of any dysfunctions, at least that I'm aware of.

Somehow the author / narrator steps outside of her unusual and unimaginable life and speaks about her experiences as if she was referring to someone else. I had to keep reminding myself that this was a memoir and not a work of fiction and that these were situations that were not created but recalled, and with such vivid detail.

There are four children in the Walls' family, all of whom turned out quite differently and whose experiences brought them to different places in their lives. Unfortunately, we only get to hear the perspective of one of them here and it is quite unlikely that the other three grown children remember the events the same way.

Since I studied psychology in college, I was intrigued by the notion that despite their upbringing, these children, with the exception of one who we hear little about as an adult, turn out as normally functioning members of our society. Educated, too.

It is quite apparent after reading this story that one does not need money or a plethora of material things to "make it" in the world. In fact, perhaps quite the opposite is true. Would the Walls' children learn the lessons they did if it weren't for their parents showing them and teaching them (without trying) that hard work and responsibility bring you certain advantages in life? After all, these children had to scrounge for their own food and learned to survive without their parents and in fact, spent many days and nights, most likely, worrying about them and taking care of them, both physically and emotionally.

These children saw their neighbors and classmates in a much different light. While people looked to her with pity, Jeannette sees others much differently than they see themselves and is inspired and motivated by simply wanting more, wanting to have enough and not go hungry.

One could argue that these children were neglected and that it would've been better for them to be removed from their home as children and brought into houses with warm food, warm beds and warm and loving 'parents.' One could also argue that being taken away from the only home and the only family they know could've done more harm than good.

This is quite an interesting and thought-provoking book and one that will most likely become required reading as it focuses on survival and reveals how young people today no longer rely on their instincts. Their own survival skills are not tested since they are provided with every opportunity, and an overabundance of choices which could possibly take away the chances of their ability to "make it on their own" once they step into the real world.

Bite Marks

My 3.75-year-old son bit me this past weekend. Not that he's never done this before but this time he left a mark, a very large bite mark that has now turned into a major bruise. It turned black and blue instantly, but is currently an ugly yellow and is not looking as though it will begin to fade for quite some time.

As a newly Certified Parent Educator through the International Network of Families and Children (INCAF) I think it's only fitting that I start out this blog by saying that no one is perfect. Neither parent nor child are going to go through life without conflict and frustration. That would take away all of the fun, right?

I am a perfectionist, however, so my intention is to help other parents learn from my (plethora of) mistakes by using my own examples in the Redirecting Children's Behavior (RCB) 5-week course and individual workshops that are offered through my newly formed company (and the name of this blog), Happy Healthy Hip Parenting (HHH).

Somehow, I feel as though admitting to having made mistakes along the way will not only help ease my guilt, but to also provide an atmosphere where the participants in my course look to me as a peer and not someone standing in front of them telling them what to do or how to be a better parent. Because, after all, each child is unique and each situation will require a different solution. I am here to offer a supportive and open environment where parents learn new skills, learn from one another, and learn more about themselves and their children.

I also think this will help me to learn to laugh at myself more often because they say that laughter is the best medicine and I am all about self-medication! ;^)