Happy Healthy Hip Parents

I've been a Mom for just under five years. There should be a celebration for parents when we reach that milestone.

Among family, friends, colleagues and clients, I know some pretty amazing Moms and Dads. Many of us don't get the recognition that we deserve for our sleepless nights, endless worries and countless miles of carpooling our drooling, crying, adorable kids from doctor's appointments to soccer practice, play dates to birthday parties.

Most parents may not think of themselves worthy of a Parent of the Year award, but they're definitely Happy Healthy Hip Parents 24/7.

High school friends I've been reacquainted with online, parents who blog while their kids are at school (or sleeping), and friends who I've met at play dates and Mommy's groups, will be highlighted here over the next few weeks.

I look forward to sharing their stories and giving props to parents who raise happy, healthy, hip kids - one of the most rewarding jobs you could ever have.

Weekend Parenting Retreat

Here in La Jolla, the Weekend Parenting Retreat takes place over the next two days. At first, I debated whether or not to call this a retreat, but after reviewing the definition I decided that it is the perfect word for this event.

re·treat /rɪˈtrit/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ri-treet] – noun

1.	the forced or strategic withdrawal of an army or an armed force before an enemy, or the withdrawing of a naval force from action.

2.	the act of withdrawing, as into safety or privacy; retirement; seclusion.

3.	a place of refuge, seclusion, or privacy: The library was his retreat.

4.	an asylum, as for the insane.

5.	a retirement or a period of retirement for religious exercises and meditation.

7.	to withdraw, retire, or draw back, esp. for shelter or seclusion.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't see parenting the same way I view the military (although I do agree mostly with definition #4). However, in all honesty, I do believe that the withdrawal from the "enemy" is similar, emotionally, as it is to withdrawal from "the trenches" of parenthood.

Parenting is challenging. It's liberating, amazing, spiritual, uplifting and very rewarding. It's also hard work, emotionally and physically. It even affects our sexual selves (as most parents will argue).


My goal over the weekend is to help parents reduce the stress in their homes. I will accomplish this through educating them about unique strategies that have worked for many others (including myself). We will also use role play to help enhance the "usability" of these practices. And, of course, they will walk away with additional support, resources and references to refer to for years to come.

The parents that are going to be attending this weekend are fabulous parents. How do I know this? Because they're committing themselves to this Practical Parenting Program, which is an investment in both time and money. They're stepping aside from their duties as a parent, giving up their weekend to learn, support one another and renew their promise to be the best parent and/or spouse they can possibly be.

We're all trying to be the best we can be. But, we all make mistakes and have been known to make bad decisions, myself included. If we encourage one another, learn from our own - and others' - mistakes, we'll all be better off because of it. And our kids will thank us for it twenty years from now (I guarantee it).

Films I Missed Since Becoming a Mom

1. Into the Wild (2007)
2. Pan's Labryinth (2006)
3. Capote (2005)
4. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
5. Spiderman 2 (2004)

What movies have you missed since becoming a parent?

And the movies that I plan on seeing in the theatre in the coming months:

1. The Dark Knight
2. The International
3. Where the Wild Things Are (from the award-winning author / illustrator, Maurice Sendak)
   
4. The Time Traveler's Wife (my all-time favorite book, written by Audrey Niffenegger)
5. James Bond 22
6. The Changeling
7. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (another film based on a novel)
8. The Box
9. The Fighter
10. Shantaram (Johnny Depp plays lead role and owns book rights)
    

From Wild to Child

It takes six pregnancy tests for Rebecca Woolf to admit to herself that she is definitely pregnant. Hiding under the bathroom sink, smoking a cigarette and cursing herself, she informs her roommate, and then her boyfriend of four months, of the news.

After several months - and a wedding in Vegas - she convinces herself that life will not change when she becomes a mother. Fortunately, she discovers the truth: that life is best enjoyed when embracing the unexpected, that parenthood can change a person in ways that can never be undone, and that true love is only truly understood when one holds a newborn baby in their arms.

Rockabye: From Wild to Child is Rebecca Woolf's account of motherhood and how becoming a wife and parent changed her life, inspired her to accept herself - and her imperfections - as well as enabling her to be the best parent she never knew she could become.

With brutal honesty and the rawest of emotions, Rebecca beautifully and succinctly documents the adjustment to - and evolution of - motherhood and illustrates the fact that parenthood is messy, painful, scary, overwhelming and as precious as it is priceless.

"It's amazing how fast he stops crying when I pick him up. It is still hard to believe his cries are for me. Because he needs me. A feeling both wonderful and completely terrifying."

"...a child is not a sacrifice...unfaithfulness to one's desire is a choice, with or without children or a full-time job to make ends meet...The only way we can properly take care of our children is by taking care of ourselves first."

"The lessons we teach our children we should also remember to tell ourselves.
'Follow your dreams.'
'Be yourself.'
'Listen to your heart.'
'I believe in you.' "

"Happiness is the most underrated accessory to success. It is paramount to be inspired by life in order to be an inspiration to a child."

"...maybe it's just as important to cross the lines as it is to draw them."

Rebecca Woolf is a young mother and a mother who is young at heart, not to mention wise beyond her years. An inspirational and a humorous book for new parents, expecting divas and mature moms, Rockabye: From Wild to Child is a must-read for anyone learning to negotiate the limitless and life-changing experience that is parenthood.

Healthy Sex Life = Healthy Marriage

Everyone's "doing it." Talking about sex, that is. It's everywhere (or maybe I'm just noticing it more lately because I'm not gettin' any).

In the past month, author Douglas Brown and his wife Annie have appeared on the "Today" show to discuss their exhausting adventures of having sex for 101 days - in a row!. A writer for the Denver Post, Brown wrote about the impact this experiment had on his marriage in Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses!).

Many studies have proved that having an active sex life is good for one's health. Did you know, for example, that having sex three times a week burns around 7,500 calories in a year -- the equivalent of jogging 75 miles? Now, I realize that jogging 75 miles in one year is not a whole heck of a lot to brag about (it's less than 2 miles per week people), but let's not forget the fact that making love on a regular basis can also help lower your cholesterol, reduce stress and help protect a woman's heart (literally and figuratively).

Just Do It promotes the idea that a healthy sex life is also a key ingredient to a healthy and successful marriage. So, what are you reading this for? Go on, you know you need to burn off a few calories.

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Mom Worthy is a new site and they need your help! Not only can you vote on the sites already listed, but you can submit your favorites or your own site! Tag your favorites, share the blogs you read and vote for those you discover.

Why Every Parent Needs to be Educated

My job as a parent is to ___________ my child.

Go ahead. FILL IN THE BLANK. The only rule is that you are only allowed one, and only one, choice. What one word would you use to complete the sentence above? Already, in my head, I've been struggling with choosing from over a dozen possibilities.

"Every single day of parenthood forces us to juggle the practical along with the ineffable, to strive for connectedness along with autonomy, to quarrel and question and, in the end, to let go." - Anne Pleshette Murphy (Blindsided by a Diaper)

My job as a parent is the most demanding, challenging, frustrating, exciting, rewarding and powerful role I could every take on. If anyone told me (I think they did but perhaps I wasn't listening) exactly what parenthood would be like, I wouldn't believe them. I wouldn't understand because you can never truly comprehend what being a parent really means until you're there; looking at your little child who is not taking NO for an answer.

I've been working for the same company now for seven years and, although I had many other jobs prior to this one, I don't recall any job that I had that did not require some sort of training. Why should parenting be any different?

People joke about how easy it is to make a baby. There's no application to fill out, no fees involved in the actual creation of a child (unless you calculate the bar tab at the end of the night). But seriously, why is it that new parents are expected to sit through birthing classes and learn how to change diapers and perform CPR on infant sized dolls yet there are no requirements on having to take parenting classes? After all, the infant stage is over before you know it, but parenting is FOREVER.

"A baby, it turns out, is more permanent than a tattoo."
- Michael Finkel (Welcome to the Babyhouse)

When I became a new mom, I struggled with trying to be the best mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister, and role model I could possibly be. I was convinced that I could do everything myself, even without my husband's help.

I feel sorry for those "...men...determined to be better fathers than their own dads but who felt criticized by their wives every time they even tried."
- Amy Sohn (Confessions of a Sugar Mommy)

Now that I realize that many families face the same challenges and issues behind closed doors, it's much easier for me to forgive myself. And I find myself warning every parent I know so that, hopefully, they won't make the same mistakes I did.

"The Who Has the Harder Job? Show had begun - and it ran for more seasons
than I care to count. Inevitably, we both ended up losers."
- Susan Maushart (Where the Bruises Are)

And I lost big time. I lost my husband, the family that I created and my sense of identity had to be completely redefined.

"...babies begin to smile at exactly this point - six to eight weeks in -
as a matter of survival...this is also the time parents stop smiling at each other."
- Nicholas Weinstock (Being a Baby)

I was introduced to the Redirecting Children's Behavior class by, none other than, my ex-husband. Our son was going through a terrible stage (as we all were) and all three of us were frustrated, exhausted and emotionally bankrupt.

"...he loved [our son] with an over-the-top abandon that he never showed me."
- Elizabeth Larsen (To Jealousy and Beyond)

My ex-husband and I each took the five-week course - separately - and slowly implemented the skills and tools we learned in each of our homes. I noticed a change instantly. Not only was I feeling less stressed, but our daily routines were going much smoother, we were laughing more (and crying less) and there was an overall sense of hope that embraced my son and I as we worked on improving our relationship by simply adjusting the way we communicated with one another.

"...just as children fundamentally alter the nature of marriage...
children affect the end of marriage even more profoundly."
- David Elliot Cohen (Life Sentence)

I don't know where we'd be today if it weren't for the RCB program and the information, support and encouragement I received from the class. I'm an instructor now myself, and if there's one piece of advice I could give to parents, whether they're expecting their first baby or already have children, it would be this: educate yourselves, share your stories, support one another, Make Time for Yourself and laugh often. You won't regret it.

"...if couples can find ways to talk openly -
with each other and with other couples - about the changes they're encountering,
they'll be better equipped to navigate the challenges."
- Dana Bedford Hilmer (editor, Blindsided by a Diaper)

To learn more about parent education and the types of classes and workshops offered, please visit the Happy Healthy Hip Parenting website.

*Each author quoted in the above post has an essay published in the recent book, Blindsided by a Diaper: Over 30 Men and Women Reveal How Parenthood Changes a Relationship)

Momference 2008

New Momference Make-Over Starting in the Spring of 2008, Momference will present events geared toward truly changing and empowering the lives of women everywhere! Events will focus around the areas of: Divorce Special Needs Families Domestic Violence Parenting Teens Child Safety Mompreneurs Visit our new online Momference events calendar to see a complete listing of online tele-conferences and webinars lead by leading experts in the fields of parenting and women's coaching.
Calling all Divorced Women Are you divorced, going through a divorce, or know someone who is getting a divorce? Everyone does! The April 9th and 12th Momference event, sponsored by Laura Campbell of the DSpot, "Divorce: Passion, Power, and Play," is the ideal way to help yourself or someone you love deal with the issues surrounded the break up of a marriage. As the perfect gift of healing for yourself or a way to help a loved one struggling with the pain of divorce, the small registration fee of $39 includes both days of the event, a special virtual goodie bag, and podcasts of all of the sessions to review at your leisure! The keynote speaker of the "Divorce: Passion, Power, and Play" event will be Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the author of Prime: Adventures and Advice about Sex, Love and the Sensual Years. She is a renowned author, lecturer and authority on the subject of sexuality and relationships. Pepper wrote the column “Sex and Health” for Glamour magazine for seven years. She has appeared on such television programs as The Oprah Winfrey Show, Dateline and Dr. Phil, and on programs for the cable television network Lifetime. If you have not signed up for the upcoming FREE "Divorce: Passion, Power, and Play" event with Dr. Pepper Schwartz or Linda Ward (or both--they are FREE right??), then do it now before all the spaces are taken!
Addressing Special Needs Did you know...1 in 5 families in the United States have Special Needs children? If you have a special needs child or know someone who does, then you can fully understand the trials and tribulations associated with caring for their needs. In our April 26th "Special Needs: Managing STRESS with a SMILE" event, sponsored by Stephanie Haber of The Special Needs Family, special needs families are given the best tips and tactics finding happiness in the chaos. Whether you join the Momference "Special Needs: Managing STRESS with a SMILE" to bring peace to your own home or provide sanity to a loved one struggling to manage, the small registration fee of $39 includes a full day of tele-classes and webinars, a special virtual goodie bag, and podcasts of all of the sessions to review at your leisure! NOTE: This event qualifies for a special discount for groups of 5 or more! If you have group that would like to register for the "Special Needs: Managing STRESS with a SMILE" event, then please contact marketing@momference.com for details. If you have not signed up for the upcoming FREE Special Needs: Shut Up about your Perfect Kid event with Patty Konjoian, then do it now before all the spaces are taken!
Getting Bloggy with Momference Through connecting moms across the blogosphere in our Momference community and sharing valuable articles with tips from Momference experts, the Momference blog is a gathering place for moms to share their experiences and help each other promote stronger families. Stop by today by leaving a comment on our blog at http://momference.wordpress.com!

Gift Guide

I can't say enough about the great sites that I have discovered recently and one in particular, Sweet Juniper, caught my attention because it too, discusses parenthood, design, books, music, and other topics that I also cover.

They put together a great Gift Guide in early December which features toys, clothing, and hats - mostly created by stay-at-home-parents who make their products themselves.

Written by a SAHD who moved his family from San Francisco to Detroit, the author of Sweet Juniper writes about life in the city as well as his adventures in parenting.

Four Years Young

My son turns four today. Everyone tells you - when your baby is first born - how quickly he or she will grow up, but it's not until you experience it for yourself do you truly understand how precious these early years really are.

He fell asleep on my lap on the airplane the other day. He was completely curled up in a ball and he fit quite nicely in the space between my hips and knees. I couldn't help but think of how difficult it will be in just a few years to get him to sit still long enough for me to hold him that closely.

I count my blessings each and every day. We're happy, healthy and growing to be a more hip family as the days go by. My son's pretty lucky. In fact, I tell him that every day. "Yeah, it's my lucky day," he repeats back to me and smiles.

Those who know him - and love him - are truly the lucky ones.