My *Hip* Hurts

I had a job interview this afternoon. Wow, was I unprepared and overdressed. I have never felt more unhip in my life.

The music playing in the lobby was loud and the employees were young and seemed to be dressed for a party, or at least like nothing I've ever seen in the casual work environments that I've been exposed to.

The interview - if I can even call it that - lasted less than five minutes and consisted of someone else doing all the talking - and boy, did she talk fast.

Afterward, I told my parents about the experience and laughed at myself for being so concerned with what I was wearing, what I looked like, how I appeared.

Suddenly, the Saturday Night Live skit featuring Stuart Smalley and his Daily Affirmation came to mind: "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me."

It was my first interview in over 8 years. I may (or may) not get called back for a second interview. Hopefully, if I do, I'll be able to have a two-sided conversation that lasts more than five minutes.

Is there anything worse than a job interview? I think I'd rather go on a first date since typically there's something in it for me, like free food or alcohol.

Speaking of dates (and alcohol), today is my son's fifth birthday. I'll be celebrating this exciting milestone tomorrow, along with the start to 2009.

Have a Happy Healthy Hip New Year!

Half-Full or Half-Empty

This year, with the economy being a major issue and people's wallets feeling lighter, I want to teach my son what it means to be conservative with our spending and how it doesn't have to negatively affect our lifestyle. I want him to know that fun can still be had without having to spend money and that we can create memories that will last longer than most of his toys.

My son's birthday falls between Christmas and New Year's which is always a challenging time to schedule a birthday party. This year, my ex-husband decided to plan a party and has put everything together on his own.

If it were up to me, I wouldn't have a birthday party this year. I'd pick some fabulous activity to do with my son - and my parents who are visiting - such as taking him to see the Walking with Dinosaurs experience that I know will keep him glued to the edge of his seat. Sure, we can still do both.

But, in order to get across to my son the impact of the financial stress that everyone is having to deal with - on some level - I was hoping to include on our invitations that no presents are necessary. I think having his friends' presence, instead, would be much more meaningful. After all, I know five months from now my son won't remember which toy he received from whom but he will remember who was there to celebrate his special day.

I expressed all of these ideas to my ex-husband. We typically get along great, sharing in our son's life as much as possible and communicating often so that we're aware of what's going on in school and at each other's homes.

This morning I touched a nerve when I requested that our son invite each of the children from his class. He's been having difficulty getting along with one boy, in particular, and he mentioned that he didn't want to invite him to the party.

Working with families and helping parents and educators deal with children who are going through a challenging period makes me more sensitive to those who have trouble communicating and expressing their emotions. I know that this is the type of child that my son wants to exclude from his party but I would hate to see that happen.

My ex-husband feels otherwise. He thinks it's perfectly acceptable to exclude this boy from the celebration. We argued about it and I tried to explain my position but ended up in tears. I was trying to defend myself while my son's father yelled and belittled me. He claims that I am choosing another child over my own and that if we invite this boy and he ruins our son's party that he will hold me personally accountable and will never forgive me. He even went so far as to say that he hopes our son never puts his trust in me. Ouch.


I hesitated to blog about this, at first, but after venting on Facebook and receiving some positive feedback, I want more. I want to know if perhaps I'm in the wrong here. Perhaps I should exclude this boy and "punish him" (my ex-husband's choice of words) for being a bully.

My argument was that he would be even more of a bully if he were to find out he was the only one not invited to the party when he's already feeling isolated by the children who verbally express their unwillingness to play with him or be his friend.

Let me also say that these kids are 4 and 5 years old. They're just now learning how to communicate, how to work together and how to get along. They're still figuring things out. I want to give this boy the benefit of the doubt. I want to give him another chance to make things right and include him, regardless of his actions and behavior from the past.

I was taught to treat others like we want to be treated, to turn the other cheek and to forgive and forget. I want to pass down these same lessons to my son but suddenly I'm feeling unsure, doubting my decisions and my parenting skills. As someone who works with parents, this is not a good thing to be experiencing.

What is your opinion of this situation? How would you feel if you were a parent of a child excluded from a birthday party? How would you explain to your own child why it's important to love, unconditionally? Is it too late to get the point across to an adult who typically sees the glass as half-empty?

First Moment Memories

There are three brand new babies in my family and I won't be able to meet them for another three weeks yet. So far, I've already purchased tiny little shoes and onesies and books for them, their siblings and parents.

One thing I have not yet done is purchase something or create something that honors their special day, in particular. I'm not a creative person (honestly) so I was thrilled to discover that a colleague of mine has recently started her own company: First Moments Memories.

From Founder:

"I love celebrating big events, and finding an artful way to remember them was hard to do. There are other keepsakes that capture similar information, but either the art wasn’t engaging, or there was too much text. Nothing I found captured the true celebratory feeling of a great event.

So little by little, I started piecing together the idea of original art, creative fonts, and something versatile that could go easily into a photo album, or be a great framed piece to admire.

Every time I look at one for my son and daughter, I find myself smiling. Why not share a smile?"

Best for Kids 2007 Toy List

“BEST-FOR-KIDS” TOY LIST 2007

AMERICAN SPECIALTY TOY RETAILING ASSOCIATION (ASTRA)

This one-of-a-kind, annual list recognizing the best play products available for children is based on input from independent toy store owners around the country. These toys meet ASTRA members’ high standards for quality, safety and lasting play value. They also offer a wide variety of opportunities to encourage free, unstructured playtime, which experts say is important to healthy development.

INFANT PLAY

Everything to a baby is brand new. Using senses and developing motor abilities, a newborn reaches out, explores, and starts to figure out the "new" world. Infant playthings should nourish a young child's innate curiosity and encourage repeat play.

1. Kathe Kruse Towel Dolls · Ages 0-18 mos.

These German-made hand-crafted cotton blanket dolls make perfect first "comfies." Check out the new organic selection.

2. Taggies™ Blankets, Books, and Balls · Ages 0-18 mos.

Conceived by Babies. Made by Moms™. Each Taggie is crafted of child-friendly fleece and uniquely adorned with lots of playful ribbon tags.

3. Learning Curve Lamaze Dream Screen · Ages 0-18 mos.

Perfect for calming baby into a restful sleep, the dual motion screen plays soft music when activated by parent or baby.

4. Uncle Goose Wood Alphabet Blocks · Ages 6-36 mos.

Made in America, these embossed alphabet blocks are a perfect replica of the original and a great first stacking toy.

5. Rhino Oball · All ages.

Squish it flat and it bounces right back! Oball is a PVC-free ball, full of finger holes, that's easy to catch, captivating to hold, and safe to throw.

6. Prince Lionheart Wheelie Bugs · Ages 1-4 yrs.

Bright, soft, and friendly, these award-winning bugs, made in Australia, invite little legs to climb on board and scoot about.

TODDLER PLAY

Busy, busy, busy, there is no life busier than a toddler's. At this age, all neurons are firing and the connections are fast and furious. Toddlers need truly interactive toys – toys that engage, are child-powered and as imaginative as their minds.

1. Corolle Tidoo Dolls · Ages 1½ - 4 yrs.

As first bath-time baby dolls, Tidoos are terrific. Tidoos are lightweight and filled with polystyrene pellets for cuddly soft but towel-dryable bodies.

2. International Playthings Lift-Off Rocket · Ages 1½ - 4 yrs.

Astronauts, space dog, alien, moon buggy … Lift Off Rocket has it all – even a voice that calls out the countdown sequence.

3. WOW Flip 'n Tip Fred · Ages 1½ - 5 yrs

Powered by friction and the push of a child's hand, Fred and the other WOW vehicle play sets are toddler-tough, action-packed, and certifiably safe.

4. Manhattan Pirate & Princess Dressing Dolls · Ages 1½ - 3 yrs.

Fresh takes on traditional themes, these soft winsome pals will win the hearts of tiny tots as they teach important dressing skills.

5. Melissa & Doug Beginner Pattern Blocks · Ages 1½ - 4 yrs.

Make pretty pictures and master basic colors and shapes as you do. This wood pattern play set has become a modern classic.

6. Cloud B Twilight Turtle · Ages 3 yrs +

Fall asleep under the stars! Twilight Turtle is 3 in 1: a soft bedtime companion, a soothing nightlight, and an educational planetarium.

7. Zoobies · Ages 3 yrs+

Soft pillows, warm blankets, and comforting companions, these colorful creatures are perfect for naptime, travel, and just lounging about.

ACTIVE PLAY

No more couch potatoes! Physical activity is important for the whole child – building body muscles, pumping blood to the mind, developing vital motor skills and promoting self-esteem.

1. ToyMarketing Gymnic Rody & Hop Balls · Ages 2 –adult, with adult supervision.

Made of super-strong, yet soft, latex-free vinyl, these Italian-made Gymnic hopping ball riders are simply the best.

2. PlaSmart PlasmaCars · Ages 3 yrs to 220 lbs.

This smooth little smart car is fueled by the most inexhaustible energy on earth – kid power. Wiggle the handles back and forth and off you go!

3. Galt Folding Nursery Trampoline · Ages 3-7 yrs.

In safety, durability, and performance, this tramp is a jump above all the rest, ASTM USA certifiably safe for young children.

4. Simtec FunSlides Carpet Skates · Ages 6 yrs – teen.

Brought to America's kids from a company that produces furniture slides, Fun Slides are guaranteed to save wear and tear on the kids' socks and the hardwood floors.

5. Stuff Design BeamO · Ages 6 yrs-adult.

Big, soft, and beautiful, BeamO is a giant flying ring that you throw with your hand and catch with your whole body.

6. Diggin Wobble Deck Game · Ages 5 yrs+

A healthy challenge for mind and body, it's an electronic action game that improves reflexes, balance, and coordination while you match colors, numbers, and sounds.

CONSTRUCTIVE PLAY

Turn off the laptop and video. Nothing equips kids to face the technological challenges of tomorrow like hands-on manipulative building. Research has shown that playing with blocks, puzzles, and other construction toys helps build 3-D math reasoning, spatial and problem-solving skills.

1. BEKA Unit Block Sets · Ages 2-10 yrs

The quintessential plaything, Beka blocks are conceived, created, and made in America. These hard-rock maple unit blocks come in assorted sizes and shapes, all fractions or multiples of the standard unit (1⅜"x2¾"x5½").

2. Imagability WEDGiTS · Ages 2-10 yrs

Graduated wedge shapes stack and build any which way. Start with a basic pyramid, move onto a diamond, and then go beyond standard geometry to structures far more fanciful!

3. Keva Planks · Ages 3 yrs-adult

Made of Midwest maple, these perfectly balanced planks defy gravity and age limits, building structures that reach to the ceiling and architectural masterpieces that would astound Frank Lloyd Wright.

4. Hape Quadrilla Twist & Rail Set · Ages 4 yrs+

An over-the-top marble run experience, this marble run is brilliantly conceived, meticulously crafted, beautiful to behold, and thrilling to play with!

5. Rokenbok Start Set · Ages 6-10 yrs.

Take the control pad in your hand and rev up! Trust us, it takes far more brain than brawn power to control this construction site.

6. Rainbow Products Magformers · Ages 5-11 yrs.

No safety or polarity problems here – just countless building possibilities. Safely encapsulated in the sides of triangle and square pieces are powerful magnets that rotate upon contact to automatically align and connect.

7. Erector Spyke the Robot and RC Hummer · Ages 8 yrs+

Granddaddy never had Erector sets like this. From steel beams and girders, build a modern-day Hummer with full function RC action or an interactive spy robot, capable of wireless PC communication.

CREATIVE PLAY

In its most natural, child-initiated form, play is miraculously creative: unstructured, open-ended, imaginative, carefree, and fun. And children come by it naturally – seeing the world with fresh, new eyes and then using what they see in original ways. Visual arts and other creative activities provide children outlets to express themselves.

1. Do a Dot · Ages 3-7 yrs.

Dots and dazzles but no splashes and spills. American-made poster paints in big sponge-tip applicators make a child's first painting experience fun and easy for everyone.

2. Educational Insights Play Foam Jumbo Pack · Ages 3 yrs+

Squish it, shape it, save it – then start all over again! Last year's miracle molding material returns with more colors in a 12-piece pack.

3. Made by Hands Make Your Own Cards · Ages 4-11 yrs.

Pop out greetings with pride and great thank-you notes, too. Made-in-America kits come packed with piles of die-cut pop-outs, glue sticks, card forms, and envelopes.

4. Harrisville Potholder Kits · Ages 6 yrs-adult

From a weaving expert in Vermont come kits and supplies to make cotton-loop potholders, just like the kind that probably still hang in your grandmother's kitchen.

5. Creativity for Kids Fashion Studio · Ages 9 yrs-teen

Get ready for the runway: Fashion Design Studio gives fashion ingénues the stuff, know-how, and inspiration to dream up designer originals.

6. Klutz Stencil Art · Ages 8 yrs-adult

Klutz Stencil Art provides the right tools and the right techniques so that you can effortlessly create inspirational artwork.

FANTASY & PRETEND PLAY

Fantasy play fires up kids' creative juices and helps them grow socially and emotionally. As children invent and act out imaginary stories, dreams, and desires, they are able to express their own strong feelings in acceptable ways.

1. Creative Education of Canada Knight & Princess Capes & accessories · Ages 4-8 yrs

Glitzy capes that fall to the floor, peaked caps with flowing veils, bejeweled foam swords, and magic wands – just add a kids' imagination and there's no telling what kingdoms can be conquered!

2. Aeromax Jr. Astronaut Helmet · Ages 5-8 yrs

"Mission control to Pilot, all systems are go!" Amazing talking helmet has an interior communication receiver that safely relays authentic NASA messages right to the pilot's ear.

3. Hotaling Imports Papo Knights & Castles · 4-11 yrs.

Go back in time to the days of yore – reenact the whole Middle Ages with this incredible collection of hand-painted knights and colorful wood castles.

4. Folkmanis Animal Puppets · All ages

Incredibly expressive, Folkmanis hand puppets make wonderful interactive gifts for all ages, super for babies, older sibs, and adult storytellers alike. From the award-winning Chameleon and Snowy Owl to the new Galapagos Tortoise and woodland Fawn, each puppet has a unique charm.

5. Schleich New Animal Nursery and African Animals · Ages 3-10 yrs

Serengeti heaven! Create an entire African wildlife diorama with these authentically-detailed, German-designed animals and nursery.

6. Playmobil Passenger Plane · Ages 4-8 yrs

Ready for takeoff! The new Playmobil Jet Plane is packed with such realistic detail it's certain to pass any little pilot's inspection.

7. Bruder Mack Series of Jumbo Trucks · 3-7 yrs

Spiel Gut! These German-made trucks get the highest European Good Toy award for quality and play value. They're big, brawny vehicles that look and function like the real things.

GAME PLAY

Learn to play and play to learn: Games teach us all how to take turns, how to win and lose, how to calculate, how to plan ahead, and how to have fun with family and friends.

1. Blue Orange Games Zimbbo's and Froggy Boogie · 3-adult

Zimbbos and the new Froggy Boogie are great preschool games, featuring big colorful wood pieces and simple play action that combines luck, skill, and surprise.

2. Eeboo Matching & Memory Games · 5-8 yrs

Match up pairs and enjoy pretty art as you do. From nature to fairytales to children around the world, the themes and charming illustrations are guaranteed to captivate kids.

3. FunStreet Ruckus and Pile-it Card Games · Ages 5-adult

It's make it and break it, sort it and steal it! Who would ever believe math set theory could be played at such break-neck speeds?

4. Gamewright Card Games · Ages 6-adult

Rat-a-Tat Cat, Scrambled States of America, Slamwich … Buy just one and you'll get hooked on this whole series of fast-action, quick-thinking card games, made right here in the U.S.A.

5. Bananagrams · Ages 7-adult

No pencil, no paper, no bulky board – Bananagrams is fast and fun and the most delicious new word game in years.

6. Innovention Khet · Ages 9-adult

Illuminate to eliminate! Egyptian-themed board game combines real lasers with strategy in a Mensa award-winning duel.

INVESTIGATIVE PLAY

Kids are born scientists. From infancy, children seek out and explore, inquire and investigate, and learn from hands-on experience and experimentation how the world works. Science and applied math are simply child's play.

1. Learning Resources Teaching Cash Register · Ages 3-10 yrs

Simple enough for a three year old and sophisticated enough for your yard sale, this amazing talking machine is a coin wizard, calculator, and 4-level game machine.

2. Scientific Explorer My First Airplanes · Ages 4-8 yrs

The aerodynamic My First Airplanes teaches all about flight and is the latest in the award-winning My First series of hands-on science fun.

3. Insect Lore Butterfly Garden · Ages 6-11 yrs

Award-winning kit lets kids witness the miracle of metamorphosis, then release lovely painted ladies, a native butterfly species in all 50 states, into the wild.

4. Elenco Snap Circuits · 8 yrs-teen

Snap Circuits makes learning electronics super easy and fascinating fun. Plastic modules are color-coded and so are the step-by-step manuals.

5. Thames & Kosmos Physics Kits · Ages 8-teen

It takes the Germanic scientific mind to make physics seem like a walk in the park. Just follow the manuals, build models, then conduct experiments with them.

6. Creative Whack Roger Von Oech's Ball of Whacks · Ages 8-adult

A true scientific phenomenon and the all-time creative toy. Take it apart and soon you'll discover the many mind-boggling ways the 30 magnetic pyramids can be rearranged.

Four Years Young

My son turns four today. Everyone tells you - when your baby is first born - how quickly he or she will grow up, but it's not until you experience it for yourself do you truly understand how precious these early years really are.

He fell asleep on my lap on the airplane the other day. He was completely curled up in a ball and he fit quite nicely in the space between my hips and knees. I couldn't help but think of how difficult it will be in just a few years to get him to sit still long enough for me to hold him that closely.

I count my blessings each and every day. We're happy, healthy and growing to be a more hip family as the days go by. My son's pretty lucky. In fact, I tell him that every day. "Yeah, it's my lucky day," he repeats back to me and smiles.

Those who know him - and love him - are truly the lucky ones.