Catching the Bouquet

Before I was married, I used to dread that part of the wedding reception when the single women would be called up to try to catch the bride's bouquet. I'd hesitate before standing up and slowly make my way to the back of the line.

Suddenly, now that I'm single (again) and older, I'm ready. I want it to be known that I'm single and ready to find Mr. Right.

I've been to two weddings in the last few weeks and made a point of being one of the first women to make her way up to the dance floor. I've even pushed my way to the front and reminded the brides to throw it my way.

Apparently, being open to catching a bouquet is not enough. I bawled my eyes out at the last wedding I attended. My best friend from high school got married and it was so amazing to see her up there among friends and family that I've known through her.

I met my best friend during our Freshman year of high school. She was shy. I was assigned to work with her on a class project and we've been friends ever since. Knowing her for over half of our lives allowed us both the privilege of being there to witness each other's ups and downs and in on each other's secrets and details of our past relationships.

During one of my (many) states of depression, she came to San Diego to spend the week with me. We did nothing but lay on the beach, party and sleep. It was amazing and it just proved to me that my friend would be there for me, whenever I needed her.

But where was she this past weekend? I don't think she understood the psychological elements involved in my desire to catch the bouquet. It was devastating enough that I was a "party of one" for both weddings and I now, I have nothing to show for it, no souvenirs to prove that I made it through yet another wedding without someone asking me when it'd be my turn.

Since I don't have any other weddings to look forward to, I need to think of what else I can do to ensure my luck in love and relationships. Perhaps I should go and have my palm read, or do a seance that will clear my home of any negative energy that might be left behind from my ex-husband.

Yes, many people are astonished by the fact that I still live in the same home that I shared with my husband. In fact, our house is still in his name (and mine). Perhaps it's time for a little emotional cleansing...and a change of paint color.

Four Years Young

My son turns four today. Everyone tells you - when your baby is first born - how quickly he or she will grow up, but it's not until you experience it for yourself do you truly understand how precious these early years really are.

He fell asleep on my lap on the airplane the other day. He was completely curled up in a ball and he fit quite nicely in the space between my hips and knees. I couldn't help but think of how difficult it will be in just a few years to get him to sit still long enough for me to hold him that closely.

I count my blessings each and every day. We're happy, healthy and growing to be a more hip family as the days go by. My son's pretty lucky. In fact, I tell him that every day. "Yeah, it's my lucky day," he repeats back to me and smiles.

Those who know him - and love him - are truly the lucky ones.