Children with Special Needs

Working with families and getting to know children and parents personally has allowed me the opportunity to truly see how different each and every one of us truly are.

Snowflakes, fingerprints and yes, people are so unique and diverse that I find pleasure in observing others and witnessing the wonderful and dynamic individuals who will be the leaders and pioneers of the next generation.

Because every child is different, I have always felt that each child has special needs that need to be acknowledged and addressed. I'm not talking about children with developmental or physical challenges that require specialized care. I'm simply referring to the fact that parents, educators and anyone dealing with children on a regular basis really needs to understand the child and validate who they are, as we are all created equal, and perfectly.

No two children are exactly alike, as anyone with more than one child will confirm. Even those with twins - both fraternal and identical - will appreciate the distinct differences that make each child their own person. Our job as their role models and support system is to honor those differences, allow children to make healthy choices that not only encourage their independence, but their creativity and curiosity.

As a parent coach and parent educator, I work with families to be able to truly "see" their children and to provide suggestions and ideas for them to feed their children in ways that will increase their energy, instead of diminish it. I advise moms and dads about ways in which they may be putting false expectations on their child - or themselves - based on the accomplishments, goals or desires of another.

To begin to see ourselves and our children for who we really are is one of the greatest gifts we can provide for ourselves and our loved ones. Through parenting courses and working one-on-one with families, let's discuss the special needs of your child and how we can begin to make life less stressful and create more peace in our home.

Community Members

I celebrated the one year anniversary of this blog not that long ago and I'm amazed at how quickly things have evolved for me and how many wonderful people I have met along over the last twelve months.

People often ask me how I find the time to write and how I find the content to include. I read articles about parenting, blog posts about children, and I receive newsletters that inspire me as well as discovering people through our connections on line, whether it be through LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, MySpace or from reading the comments left on the blogs that I read and simply clicking through and making new friends in the process.

There are several people I have met that I'd like to introduce my community members to. One, in particular, is a woman named Cathy Northcutt who I spent yesterday afternoon with. She's a wonderful example of Passionate Parenting and has inspired me to take my company in new directions and I applaud her efforts of using her experience as a Life Coach and mother of two to inspire others to explore their opportunities through insight and support.

Cathy and I met through our connection with the RCB Team of Certified Parent Educators here in San Diego. She too, taught at the RCB conference and sat in on my class about The Birds & the Bees.

She does many wonderful things which I will highlight in future posts, such as her journal entitled Who Am I? (which I'll be reviewing soon), but the one thing I can't wait to share is her weekly Telegathering which is held every Tuesday night.

Join in the Passionate Parent Coaching Call which is free (other than the long-distance phone call to dial in). During the first half of the sixty-minute session, Cathy will discuss a specific parenting issue, such as teaching self-control, handling sibling rivalry, or balancing work & family. The second half of the session will be open for questions.

I plan on being there this, and every, Tuesday night so I encourage you to visit Cathy's website, learn more about her, whether or not you're ready for a Life Coach, or get to know yourself better by answering the questions she provides.

Be sure to RSVP for the Tuesday night Coaching Call and please let Cathy know that you heard about her here. Once you confirm that you'll be calling in, she'll provide you with the phone number and access code. I'll see you on the call Tuesday, October 7th at 8:30pm (PST).

To learn more about her services and retreats by visiting her site:
www.CathyNorthcutt.com

Child Abandonment

I wasn't surprised to read about the Nebraska father who had dropped off his nine children, - abandoning them - at a local hospital due to overwhelming stress and his inability to care for them any longer. What parent wouldn't be stressed with nine kids, let alone a man who was somehow trying to do it on his own, after the death of his wife. Talk about emotional overload.

What did shock me, however, was the "backlash" that officials have now created with their insistence that now the laws in that state must be changed. In other words, or what I'm hearing at least, is that older children who are being raised by parents who are so stressed that they are actually contemplating walking away, must remain in that abusive situation.

I know, there is no abuse that we know of being brought up here in these recent cases, but wouldn't that be the next step? If a parent has less last-minute options, what are the choices he or she would feel that would be left? Leaving these children in a neglectful situation?

I'm not sure what's worse, sending out a message to these parents - and children who are old enough to read and hear the news - that just because a parent no longer wants to be a parent, means that no one else should have to pick up the slack, or the helpless feeling of needing to walk away in the first place?

Changing the state laws would be very irresponsible, in my opinion. What I would have liked to hear officials say is that there are resources available to parents to help reduce the stress in their lives and offer a list of these services and support groups and community resources that are out there.

I'm a Certified Parent Educator who works with parents that have kids ranging in age from newborn (or even parents who are expecting) to teens. There are Certified Parent Educators across the country - and in many countries outside of the U.S. - wanting to help parents and families and helping them to to avoid these last minute impulses to abandon their children.

Learn how you can become an advocate for children by becoming an instructor yourself.

How to Talk to Your Children about Sex

Yesterday, I taught my first parenting workshop on Talking about Sex with Children and Teens. I think, for the most part, the audience was pleased since they had many questions and I was able to answer them all. Actually, I take that back. Several of those who attended the workshop ended up answering a few questions so I feel as though I should've taken a bit more control as far as keeping to the course outline.

Unfortunately, I did run out of time and wasn't able to cover everything I had hoped to. I do have copies of the course outline, the stats on STDs and teen pregnancy and of course, the questionnaire that many of those who attended were interested in receiving. 

The conference itself was amazing. Keynote speaker Max Simon reminded me a bit of my son and I could actually see glimpses of my four-year-old years into the future, having the same sense of himself and the world. It was great to see this successful and responsible young man sharing his childhood memories with us and what he learned growing up with parents who used the Redirecting Children's Behavior model of parenting in their homes.

Susie Walton, founder of Indigo Village and the person behind this first of its kind conference brought me to tears when she spoke about her vision for this event and of course, the Village itself which she opened a few years ago.

The rooms were filled with parents of all ages, with children and grandchildren of varying backgrounds. What was so inspiring, was that each and every one of us - whether presenting or attending - were there for the same reason: to bring peace into our homes, our hearts, our relationships, and our lives.

If you are looking to reduce the stress in your home or are anxious to create a more loving and balanced relationship with your children, spouse or parents, please seek out a Certified Parent Educator in your area. There's hundreds of us waiting to meet you.

The Experienced Coach

Written by Brenda Power
Editor, Choice Literacy

My 15-year-old daughter started driver's education last month, which means driving with her over the past few weeks has been a special kind of hell for me. Dee hasn't had enough training to get her learner's permit, but she has acquired enough skills and knowledge to critique my driving...oh, pretty much every time I make a turn or pull up to a stoplight. Which would be every two to three minutes. Without fail.

The experience has made me think a lot about the role of any coach...What I've realized all over again is:

• No one likes to be coached by someone who doesn't have skills or experience with the activity being coached. Everything always looks easier from the outside.
• We can all benefit from the outside perspective of someone watching our moves closely. I am a much better driver this month than I was last month, just because some of my sloppiest habits have been pointed out to me. Repeatedly.
• We work hardest at the things we care most about. When Dee finally got her permit a week ago, I was amazed at how careful and smart she is in her driving. She eagerly asks for feedback after every drive, asks questions throughout the process, and is open to the honest analysis of her skills.

Most of all, I was reminded that those of us who coach others really need the experience periodically of learning something new, preferably something that is a true challenge. What are you planning to learn this summer? Who will be your coach?

Brenda's story about her daughter reminds me of the challenges I face when working with families. Nothing is more important to me than my family and I know the same holds true for those who enroll in my courses. I try very hard to express my opinions and points of view without being judgmental. I show my concern for parents' challenges and try to focus on what they want to achieve, what goals they plan to reach.

Being a Certified Parent Educator and teaching the courses and workshops on communication, discipline and redirecting children's behavior forces me to be more aware of the actions I take and the words I choose. I make mistakes - everyone does - and I use the lessons I learn from them to share with the parents I work with. After all, learning from my mistakes might help others to see how they can avoid making the same ones with their families.

Like Brenda, I know that the families I work with are dedicated to their children and the relationships in their lives and it only makes them stronger to ask for help when they need that extra support.

It takes a community to raise a child and I'm pleased to see the Happy Healthy Hip Parenting community growing and spreading peace between family members, friends and neighbors.

Thoughts After Visiting Dad's House

I'm a single, working mom, but I'm one of the lucky ones. My son's father is equally involved and just as equally interested in his son's education, etc.

When people hear that I'm a single mom, they typically say something like, "I don't know how you do it on your own." Well, let me be the first to tell you that there is no way in hell that I could've gotten this far on my own.

Even though my parents and extended family and friends are thousands of miles away, they've been an amazing support system for me. I've also created a wonderful commUNITY here in the last several years that is made up of dozens of moms and dads (single or otherwise). And yes, my former husband has been a big help, too.

When we got married, we both knew that we wanted children. In fact, we were so certain that we wanted a child that we got married to ensure that it would happen. You know, "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage."

After a few years together, we discovered that we are the best parents we can possibly be to our son when we're not living together.

Over at Dad's House, I would imagine that he's just as involved in his children's life as my former husband is. We are on a 2-3-2 schedule (if anyone is interested or knows what that even means) but Dad steps up and has our son during the times I'm gone on business (quite often).

When I started my company and began to narrow my focus on what I would be specializing in as a Certified Parent Educator, my first thought was wanting to work with single parents. That focus then changed to working with any and all parents since I want to help anyone who is willing to sit down and work on being a better mom or dad than they already are.

I can't imagine having to be a full-time mom to my son without his dad in the picture. We're not all in the same house any more, and it's often times quite frustrating, but the three of us will always be a family. And family will always come first.

Someone Needs a Time Out

I LOVE this commercial! I just saw it on TV for the first time (I hardly ever have the TV on) and immediately looked it up on YouTube.

The Redirecting Children's Behavior program that I am certified to teach does not endorse time outs, unless it's done like this!

It Must be a Sign

I read my horoscope every day. That's right, each and every day. It's not the first thing I do when I wake up but my horoscope comes to me daily via email and so, out of pure habit, I continue to read and believe that alignment of the stars and planets have something to do with the outcome of my day.

Here's today's horoscope for me, an Aries:

Today you will finally start to see signs that your latest business or career plans are finally coming together! Once again, your drive for success has not let you down -- it's taken you to a really nice place in your life, and you have many options. Use this day as a sort of rest stop on the road to your goals, and kick back with one of your favorite people. Take a long lunch with them and talk about something other than what you have been working on for so long.

I continue to believe.