Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Bonus Families

My son keeps asking me when I'm going to have another baby. He wants a sibling and he's not alone. I have baby cravings all the time, especially after spending time with my sister's new baby - or looking at the pictures of him that are on my fridge or kitchen table. Basically, several times a day!

Bonus Families is a website and a wonderful term for the step-families of my generation. I'd like to inherit a bonus family someday, but I'm not in any hurry. I'm still enjoying the time I have with my son and getting to know myself as a single mom and individual who is trying to get some goals reached before inviting another adult (and child) into our world.

I spent some time getting to know someone recently whom I met through eHarmony. We decided, after learning more about each other, that we are not looking for the same things right now. He is looking for a serious, long-term relationship, whereas, I am searching for someone who I can finally be myself with. I think I've found him and even though there is quite some distance between us, and baggage from our past relationships, I have faith that with time, things will become less stressful and we can begin to share more of each other more often.

When my husband and I first separated and he moved out, there was a long span of time before our divorce was finalized. Nearly two entire years went by before the court declared us no longer married to one another. Clearly, our marriage was over long before my ex-husband ever filed for divorce.

Saying that I'm involved with a married man would not be accurate. Telling people that the man I'm dating is currently separated would be more precise. His marriage has ended and despite the fact that they tried to make things work for their children's benefit, they have finally made peace with the fact that there is nothing left to hold onto.

In my adult life, I have met many people from different backgrounds with diverse pasts that they've overcome. Along the way, I have made both good and bad decisions, as we all have, but I have faith that the path before me will lead to happiness and true love.

Where will your path lead? You can think positively and hope for a happy ending, or you can make the choice to let the negative thoughts take over. I choose to believe that good things come to those who wait and I have been patient and cautious and continue to take one day at a time.

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