Saturday, September 15, 2007

Too Much Information

I have a biopsy scheduled for Monday. It was actually supposed to be yesterday but I had to reschedule it. I'm hoping that I can take the day off and recover but since I'm such a workaholic I will probably end up going into the office afterwards.

If you Google the word biopsy, you come up with all sorts of medical sites that use words like pathology and malignant and cancer. CANCER.

What a test for someone who - in just the last 15 months - has been through a high conflict divorce, tried to maintain 3 jobs while raising my son and has had a different sort of health scare.

My gynecologist, who's been my doctor for 8 years now, recently discovered a mole that has grown considerably in the last year. I noticed it prior to the visit but although I knew that it was something to be concerned about I still chose to ignore it. She, of course, cannot, and was very adamant about removing it right away.

The fact that her reaction was so reactive is what startled me about the whole thing. I knew it was not something to be ignored so the health scare that brought me into her office in the first place actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I probably wouldn't have caught it, or brought this to her attention, otherwise.

I recently turned 30. It seems like everything is coming at me at once now. Don't things usually happen in 3s? If that's the case then this would be the third and final strike against me.

My hair is turning gray, probably from lack of sleep and stress. But, it's better than the alternative so my plan is to grow older gracefully and continue to just let it be.

Just this past week my mom came out to visit. It broke my heart having to tell her what's going on with me and I could see the pained look on her face when I told her about the procedure.

And then there are those who I haven't said anything about this to. My sister, my friends back "home." I figure that I'll wait to see if there's anything worth mentioning. After all, it could be nothing. It could just be the thing that makes me focus on the future and to be sure that I get what I want from this life and share it with the people who mean the most to me.

Luckily I have some very good female friends here who I can talk to about these things. A few of these women have been through similar experiences.

I have a pretty positive attitude despite the fact that the results of this biopsy are going to either make or break my future plans. I do anticipate buying a lifetime supply of wigs if need be so if it comes to that, you can guarantee I'll have photos posted with my new hairstyles. Maybe I should plan for that either way.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

1 comment:

Jules said...

You meant yesterday, right? I hope it went well.

"my plan is to grow older gracefully and continue to just let it be."