Friday, September 14, 2007

Judging a Book By Its Cover

I was asked by a colleague to answer a few questions about on line dating for an upcoming article she's writing. It seems that since I'm one of the few single parents that is in this particular circle, I'm suddenly an "expert" on the subject.

For a very short while after my husband and I separated, I joined after a friend convinced me to put my profile on line. Not a good idea. I had to describe myself and what I was looking for in a potential partner. (Can I just say that if I couldn't get it right the first time, how in the heck was I supposed to know what I was looking for a second time? Or third? Or...)

I did not include a photo at first since I couldn't find one that I wanted to advertise to the world. But I soon learned that this was the only way I was going to get anyone interested in communicating with me.

A few men showed interest but once I saw their photo - I didn't even read their profile. I grew very disappointed with the prospects. A couple of men asked me to send them a photo. I did and, of course, never heard from them again.

Once my photo was on line I started to get a ridiculous number of emails from older men. And by older, I mean 15 or more years older. No, thank you. Needless to say, my on line profile did not last long.

Single Parent Dating - Sign Up Free!

I've dated a few men in the last year but only those that I first met in real life. What I forgot about the dating scene that is so wonderful is the physical aspect of it. And by that I mean eye contact, seeing his reaction to what I'm saying or how his voice changes when he talks to me. None of this could be done on line.

It's nice to be able to lean in close when talking and smell his cologne, hold his hand as we're walking next to each other or brush my lips gently against his as we say goodbye to one another.

The sparks that fly between two people are what makes dating so exciting. Regardless of whether we end up with someone temporarily or for an extended period of time, the truth is, we all enjoy a little affection and knowing that someone is interested in what we have to say.

On line dating is not for me, although I have heard of people who have had great success, fallen in love and are now married. Will they end up in the storybooks like the others who live happily ever after? Who knows?

What I do know is that I look forward to dating, to hold hands with someone who makes me laugh, who respects me, and who listens to what I have to say.

Thanks to Grandma J for sharing this adorable video!

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