Anger Management

Between road rage and domestic violence, there is an urgent need to help young people deal with their negative emotions before things get out of control.

Family Resource, a website dedicated to helping families, has great suggestions for learning to let go:

It is almost impossible to be upset when your body is relaxed. Try one of these relaxation skills, even in the middle of a challenging situation:

• Breathe slowly and deeply while imagining that tension is leaving your body with each breath.
• Try to inhale and exhale for the same amount of time (e.g., inhale for a count of four, exhale for four). Imagine that the breath is going in and out of the region of your heart. Meanwhile, recall or think about things that give you an appreciative, grateful, loving feeling. (For more on this simple but powerful technique, check out the books from the HeartMath Institute in Santa Cruz.)
• For a young child, a little trick that will help her breathe deeply is to ask her to exhale fully and then hold the exhalation for a couple of seconds - when she inhales, she'll naturally take a big breath.
• Deliberately relax certain trigger points, such as the jaw muscles, pelvic floor, or the "third eye" between the eyebrows.
• Recall or imagine a very happy, peaceful scene.

You can deepen your capacity to relax when the fur starts flying by practicing relaxation techniques at calmer times, like right before bed:

• Systematically put your attention on each major part of your body, starting with your feet and working up to your head. If it helps, think a phrase like "relax," or "locate a point" for your left foot, right foot, left ankle, right ankle . . . all the way up to your scalp.
• Tense your muscles for about five seconds and then relax completely.
• Imagine that you are v-e-r-y heavy, sinking more and more deeply into your bed
• Imagine that your hands are very warm, like holding a cup of hot cocoa (this one is especially good for insomnia)

For kids, bedtime is a great time to train them in these techniques, since they'll put up with more mumbo-jumbo to keep you in the room. The point is that you will initially take them through some of the methods above, and then over time you will expect them increasingly to use the methods themselves at night -- as well as during the day, in real-life situations.

Baby Cravings

Are you looking for chic maternity style, quality & individuality? Look no further than UK based Crave Maternity - now available in the US!

With an impressive feel for fashion and quality, the collection offers the best in wearable maternity apparel helping moms-to-be to look fabulous seven days a week with key pieces that work for any day, any occasion.

Its flagship boutique is located in the heart of London’s Chelsea and is the best place to find the latest maternity style on the high street.

New styles designed to grow with you during each stage of your pregnancy will be arriving throughout the year both online and in-store to keep your maternity wardrobe as fresh as the season.

To help celebrate its U.S. launch, Crave Maternity invites all readers to take advantage of the 25% online discount code which also provides free shipping from the U.K.! All orders are taken in U.S. dollars. Shoppers should use code USA25 at checkout to receive this special offer.

Tea Collection

Summer Collection: for little citizens of the world

The Global Fund for Children gives millions of dollars every year to promote the dignity of children around the world. 50% of EACH SALE of the "little citizens" tee is donated to this organization.

Advice from Grandma Sylvie

Being a parent is one role that never ends. My mom (aka Grandma Sylvie) has always been a great role model for me as she and I had an amazing relationship while I was growing up and an even stronger one now that I have a child of my own.

She's the same Grandma who told me she was going to start practicing her cartwheels when I found out I was pregnant. When my son was just two years old, she made my day (and lasting memories) by doing cartwheels in the park during our family vacation Hawaii while my son laughed and tried to imitate her.

Just today she sent me an email that provided some great advice and lovely thoughts on grandparenting- worthy of sharing and passing on to your loved ones (in my opinion):

Life:

The older you get the better you know yourself.

Love:

It is the greatest gift you can give someone, although you may not get love back in return.

Parenting:

Proved to me that there is a God - and God's mom helped me through it!

Favorite Grandparent Perks:

Grandchildren are the best part of life and worth waiting for.
I love their laughter and honesty.
They know how to make your day just by holding your hand,
giving you a hug or smiling at you with a twinkle in their eyes that makes you feel special.
I am always looking forward to the next visit with them.

You'll be hearing more from Grandma Sylvie in the near future. She's preparing for Grandbaby #3 which means she'll probably be doing cartwheels in the waiting room while my sister's delivering.

It Takes a CommUNITY

I'm pleased to announce that I will be one of the presenters at the upcoming It Takes a Village conference held here in San Diego on September 20th.

The program will be held from 9AM to 5PM at the University of San Diego’s Kroc Institute for Peace and Justice. The day’s events will be emceed by the very popular radio personality Jeff Detrow from the Star 94.1 Jeff N Jer morning radio program. We are currently in the process of booking a well-known keynote speaker for the morning session, and have scheduled Max Simon, founder of Self Centered, a meditation inspired revolution for authenticity seekers, formerly of the Chopra Center.

Parents, teachers, coaches, and anyone who works with or on behalf of the children of our community will find educational opportunities to update their skills in workshops and seminars.

Mark you calendar and purchase your admission ticket today!

Lessons to Learn from Same-Sex Couples

A study from San Diego State University suggests that committed same-sex couples are more satisfied with their partners than married heterosexual couples. The study surveyed same-sex couples who had civil unions in Vermont, same-sex couples not in civil unions and married heterosexual couples, over a three-year period. Results of the study showed that same-sex couples reported greater relationship quality, compatibility, intimacy and lower levels of conflict than married couples.

"If you think about same sex couples, you have two women or two men, who were raised in more similar ways. They're both from 'Mars,' both from 'Venus,' and so it's actually not surprising that when it comes to relationship satisfaction they do better," said Esther Rothblum, SDSU professor. "Because of this they may not have to negotiate the huge barriers that men and women do in terms of how they view conflict, provide emotional support or handle childrearing," said Rothblum.

According to the study, same-sex couples were indistinguishable from heterosexual married couples on many other relationship variables, including the number of children, sexual behavior and frequency of contact with their parents with or without their partners. This was the first study to follow same-sex couples in civil unions over time. It was published in the January issue of Developmental Psychology.

Mommy Has Tattoos

I have several tattoos, many of which are hidden when I'm dressed professionally. I have stories behind each and every one of them, but I want more.

The last tattoo I had took a long time. Over two separate sessions, I believe the artist spent over 6 hours altogether between the outline and coloring. I found out I was pregnant shortly afterwards and haven't made time to sit down and have it completed yet. That being said, I do want to get something to finally honor my role as a mom. I haven't decided where, on my body, to place the new design, however.

Here's it is - modified in Photoshop and eventually perfected by the artist I select to work with.

All comments and suggestions are welcome.

And if you're looking for a way to make tattoos less scary for young children (don't ask me why any child would think they're scary), there's a great little book called Mommy Has a Tattoo by Philip Padwe. I bought the book when I first discovered it and my son loved it. We haven't read it in a while but I think I'll take it out again to revisit it.

Daddy Bloggers

My mom has been keeping me up to date with the parenting sites, blogs and articles that she comes across in her daily reads. This morning she sent a link to an article from the St. Paul Pioneer Press about daddy bloggers and the rise of stay-at-home dads and those who choose to write about their experiences and point of views of parenthood.

I'm so excited to add these links to the list of Hip Parents:

Collide and Converge
Dad Gone Mad
Tapirs Poop
Matt Logelin
Maya Reads
This Little Piggy Had Tofu
Team Trixie
Schuyler's Monster Blog
Jonathan Rundman
Looky Daddy

And don't forget to check out these great daddy blogs as well:
Dad's House
The Busy Dad Blog
Dorky Dad
Daddy in a Strange Land
From Here to Paternity
D is for Dad
Dad Thing
meta DAD
Discovering Dad
DIY Father
Try to Keep Up
Hey, Look What I Can Do
Makes Me Wanna Holler
A Man Among Mommies
I Have to Wipe His What?


These dads are all unique in their writing style and of course what they focus on. You'll find blogs written by single dads, stepfathers, new dads, stay-at-home dads, expectant fathers, dads who blog about raising their kids vegan or raising multi-racial children, from fathers who are also widows, and dads who blog about single life and dating. There's something here for everyone.

I encourage readers to send me links to sites you discover in your journey.

Happy Father's Day to all dad-types out there. Enjoy your special day.

The Experienced Coach

Written by Brenda Power
Editor, Choice Literacy

My 15-year-old daughter started driver's education last month, which means driving with her over the past few weeks has been a special kind of hell for me. Dee hasn't had enough training to get her learner's permit, but she has acquired enough skills and knowledge to critique my driving...oh, pretty much every time I make a turn or pull up to a stoplight. Which would be every two to three minutes. Without fail.

The experience has made me think a lot about the role of any coach...What I've realized all over again is:

• No one likes to be coached by someone who doesn't have skills or experience with the activity being coached. Everything always looks easier from the outside.
• We can all benefit from the outside perspective of someone watching our moves closely. I am a much better driver this month than I was last month, just because some of my sloppiest habits have been pointed out to me. Repeatedly.
• We work hardest at the things we care most about. When Dee finally got her permit a week ago, I was amazed at how careful and smart she is in her driving. She eagerly asks for feedback after every drive, asks questions throughout the process, and is open to the honest analysis of her skills.

Most of all, I was reminded that those of us who coach others really need the experience periodically of learning something new, preferably something that is a true challenge. What are you planning to learn this summer? Who will be your coach?

Brenda's story about her daughter reminds me of the challenges I face when working with families. Nothing is more important to me than my family and I know the same holds true for those who enroll in my courses. I try very hard to express my opinions and points of view without being judgmental. I show my concern for parents' challenges and try to focus on what they want to achieve, what goals they plan to reach.

Being a Certified Parent Educator and teaching the courses and workshops on communication, discipline and redirecting children's behavior forces me to be more aware of the actions I take and the words I choose. I make mistakes - everyone does - and I use the lessons I learn from them to share with the parents I work with. After all, learning from my mistakes might help others to see how they can avoid making the same ones with their families.

Like Brenda, I know that the families I work with are dedicated to their children and the relationships in their lives and it only makes them stronger to ask for help when they need that extra support.

It takes a community to raise a child and I'm pleased to see the Happy Healthy Hip Parenting community growing and spreading peace between family members, friends and neighbors.

Staying Together for the Children

In an unhappy marriage many couples will suffer through the days and nights for the sake of the kids. There have been many arguments, debates, discussions and even research on the topic.

Some people say arguing in front of the kids can be healthy for them if only you also make up in front of them. I tend to believe that those who choose not to argue in front of their children end up holding in their feelings and emotions get pent up and sometimes the issues never get resolved, only postponed until another time when things have become more heated.

Some believe that staying together for the sake of the children is unhealthy for everyone and having lived through a marriage that endured many difficult and tense situations, I am one of these people.

Children learn what they live. They look to the adults in their lives as role models and tend to copy the things they say and do. Parents living together provide the model of an adult relationship that the child sees as "normal." My son's father and I decided that since we were not modeling a loving relationship then we weren't reflecting what a healthy adult relationship is about to our son.

Our divorce was more devastating to the two of us than it was to our son. He knew that he was loved unconditionally by the two of us and we continue to communicate and keep one another aware of what is happening when the other parent is not present. Just today the three of us enjoyed yogurt together to reinforce the knowledge that we will always be a family and are always there for our son.

I realize that our situation is not typical. Research has been done on divorce and its effects on children. I would have to argue that the people who find divorce damaging to children haven't personally experienced living in a household where tension and negativity fill the environment.

Discover some practical advice for those who are having a difficult time in their relationship, and read more about staying together for the kids and possibly one of the most important decisions two people could make.

Financial Responsibility

In our culture, it's not polite to talk about money. While it's public information as to what the CEOs of major corporations are taking in on an annual basis, why is it such a taboo topic among us "regular" folks?

Now, I'm not going to proceed by telling you what I earn in a year but I do know this: with the price of gas going up and up and up, along with the cost of everything else, I'm afraid to see what the tuition costs will be like when my son gets to that point.

According to the College Cost Calculator, I'm on the right track. How about you?

Personality Lab

Want to learn more about yourself or your child? Take the personality questionnaires from Personality Lab:

Understand Your Child

Parents, complete this child personality test to better understand your son or daughter. The questionnaire can be used to describe a young child, teen, or adult.

Understand Yourself

Complete this questionnaire to learn about your own personality. The feedback provided by this test is applicable to people of all ages.

Deal With It

How do you handle unexpected problems that pop up in life? What about successes? Take this test to learn about your coping styles.

The Close Relationship Quiz

Are you always worried about your relationships, or do they rarely cross your mind? Do you hold others close to you, or do you push them away? Complete this personality quiz and learn more about your relationship style.

Are You a Decider?

Who’s the decider in your house? What about at work, or in the community? Do you make the decisions, or is someone else really in charge? The results may surprise you. Find out if you – or your spouse – has a “decider” personality by taking this quiz!

My Life Goals

Fame? Fortune? Love? What are the life goals that are most important to you? Find out by completing this survey.

Find Your Hogwarts House

Harry Potter fans, have you ever wondered where the sorting hat would place you? Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin: Complete this personality test and find out! Based on the Understand Yourself test.

The Sims Personality Test

What's your virtual personality: Neat freak? Couch potato? Socialite? Take this test and get scored on each of the five personality dimensions used in The Sims and The Sims 2.

Can't get enough quizzes? Visit Your Personality for more.

Best and Worst Sex Scenes of All Time

From the Daily Bedpost:

Last year, IFC.com and Nerve.com teamed up to compile "The 50 Greatest Sex Scenes in Cinema" history. Great fun (despite the horrible navigation that makes you almost just want to rent each video and fast-forward to the sex scenes yourself). But you know what's even better than the best scenes? "The 50 Worst Sex Scenes in Cinema," of course.

Well, they've done the dirty work again and come up with a doozy of a list. We'd say they're almost all spot on, from Showgirls to Eyes Wide Shut to Wild Things, and they especially nailed it with their choice for #1 worst sex scene of all time. (Can you guess? Here's a hint: it ain't vegan.)

The only one we really take exception with is the Model T sex scene from Titanic (rated #48). Okay, it's not great (that hand slap against the glass is way too staged), but one of the worst? Come on, have they no sense of romance? Plus, it was one of the last times Leonardo diCaprio was pretty-boy hot. That's gotta count for something.

Video of the Week

Alright, so I realize that I don't highlight a video every week, but I should. This one comes courtesy of stay-at-home dad, David.

I was tickled that David discovered my blog but he called it a "mom" blog. I've been trying to reach parents of either gender, so I would love to know what dads want to read about, whether you're a working-outside-the-house type or otherwise...and I can't forget about grandparents either.

Readers are welcome to send me links to videos that are relevant to parenting, children or families, but, please, No home videos!

My Baby Loves Disco

My son was not looking forward to the Baby Loves Disco event that I dragged him to on Sunday. He kept reminding me that he's not a baby and I could tell he was ready to have a horrible time. We arrived just before 2pm and scouted out the parking situation. There was already a line forming outside Aubergine and the valet parking was backing up traffic, on top of the cars that were heading downtown for the Padres game. Petco Park is only a few blocks away so there was definitely competition for the few spots on the street in the Gaslamp District.

I decided to park near the Convention Center where there was plenty of spaces and only a two block walk to the nightclub. Since I've never been to Aubergine before, I assumed the line that had formed was heading towards the open door where the large bouncer was standing. We walked to what I thought was the back of the line only to have a rather impatient dad tell me that he was first. Don't ask me how long he had been waiting, but he was not at all amused that I had simply made a mistake. Was it so important to be the first ones inside? This is a party for kids, for goodness sake.

My son changed his mind rather quickly about the event when he heard the live music playing while we stood in line. I didn't realize at the time, but it was the two-man team behind Hullabaloo. My son insisted that he sit upon my shoulders while we waited - and danced - before they finally let us inside at two o'clock. I thought this was great exercise for me, dancing with thirty pounds around my neck. I was sweating by the time we got inside.

I'm so glad we didn't experience this event when my son actually was a baby. He was the perfect age for this type of event. He stood in line to get a sword balloon, he tried to catch the bubbles on the dance floor and he followed - make that stalked - Spider Man as he moved from room to room saying hello and taking pictures with the kiddos.

One of the coolest things, as a parent, was that my son had a wristband that had the same number as my little receipt that I was given at the door. No child would be able to leave the venue without the parent with the matching token. I immediately relaxed at the thought of not having to watch him as intently as I would be otherwise. He ran ahead of me into the other rooms and I was able to follow and catch up to him knowing that he'd be safe. There were also staff members wearing Baby Loves Disco badges throughout the venue which made me feel more at ease too.

There were several vendors there offering fun things for the kids: the balloon lady, face painting, books near the lounge area, tee pees to hide inside, healthy finger foods, an arts & crafts table where my son made two Father's Day cards for his dad and several tables with promotional pieces for some great companies that I hadn't ever heard of. Of course there were some people there who I had the pleasure of meeting before or learning about on line, such as the Playhouse Cafe, Rattle-N-Roll, and Style Child.

New to me were Ooh La La Mama, Passed Presents, Javis Davis, and It's a Mom Thing.

Mark your calendar for the next San Diego Baby Loves Disco event, happening September 7 at Aubergine. Check the website for BLD events in your area!