Sports & Sex

I'm a huge sports fan, although I can't claim any teams as my own. I'll yell and cheer and jump up and down during hockey, basketball, football, soccer, baseball, beach volleyball, etc.

My son and I cheered on the athletes from the Summer Olympics that recently ended and I'm counting down the days until I'm able to purchase tickets to the 2010 Winter Games in Vancouver (less than 30 days from now!).

If I had known years ago that sex is better for men after their team wins, I'd be more likely to stick around for the post-game celebration (if you know what I mean).

When I visited Las Vegas last year, I made sure to stop by the ESPN Zone gift shop for some souvenirs to bring back home. I bought my son (who was 3 at the time) a T-Shirt that read, "I watch ESPN with my mom!" It's true. My son and I are huge sports fans and we're always watching sports if we're not participating in them ourselves.

I told one of my male friends about the T-Shirt via text messaging and he wrote back to tell me how I was "so going to get laid," because of that shirt. I was so confused. How was my son's shirt going to get me laid?

Apparently, sex and sports go together like salt and pepper, or chips and salsa. Why I'm referring to food here, I have no idea. The point I'm trying to make is that this article makes complete sense, looking back on the relationships I've had in my life. Whether it be friends or lovers, the men who I've enjoyed watching sports with have always been affected by the outcome of the games, psychologically.

Sports are not to be taken lightly, ladies. When a man's team wins, he's happy (and horny). When his team loses - or plays horribly - he's not in the mood for love.

I would imagine this would be similar to a woman's experience after shopping. She's either feeling guilty (and not in the mood) or high from the spending spree and wanting to release some of her energy with her man.

So, here's my idea. Women, if you're not a sports fan, use Monday Night Football as a night to go shopping. Leave your kids with Grandma or heck, take them with you! When it's time to head home, be sure to call your man to find out the results of the game. You may need to take action on your own but you can be sure to head home in the Express Lane if his team has won. He'll be ready to do you some favors once you get home (if you know what I mean).

Go Team!

10 Things Men Wish Women Would Know

I have been shopping around (so to speak) for relationship advice lately as many people I know have been coming to me (for who knows what reason) to ask me for my thoughts and insight on marriage and the future of love and intimacy as I know it.

Alright, so my suggestions usually fall along the lines of, "Here's What NOT To Do," based on my personal experience with a failed marriage and several failed relationships before and afterwards.

Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites have introduced me to may blog, including the lylah blog. Even though this post is from last year, there are relevant ideas here for any relationship (not just marriage). 

I need to preface this by saying that I am not a religious person. Even though I grew up Catholic and spent the majority of my education at Catholic schools, I don't pray or attend church (unless there's a wedding, baptism or funeral to attend) but I do consider myself a spiritual person.

The reason why I bring this up is that I want to tell you about my experience with the Bible. I read many stories from the Bible growing up and got many things from it. I believe that there are many great lessons to be learned within the pages, whether or not one believes in the stories from a faith point-of-view or, as in my experience, if you enjoy quotes and the power of language.

Let's face it. The Bible is well-written and well-edited. With my publishing background and love of literature, I look at the Bible much differently as an adult. There are passages and stories written by different people in this collection, and you would be hard-pressed to find one that is not a good storyteller.

I'm getting off track here. What I do want to say though, before I continue with the point of this post, is that I read the Bible as I would any other book. I read between the lines, I disregard some parts of it while re-read others.

The biblical quotes that are included in this list from the lylah blog are powerful and relevant to the message she's trying to communicate. I encourage you to create your own list (with your partner) to be sure to have a better understanding of his or her needs.

Finally, the list:

   10 Things Men Want Women to Take to Heart:

1. Don't Try to Change Me
2. Respect Me
3. Understand
4. Pray for Me
5. See Me as God Sees Me
6. Let Me Be Me
7. Let me OWN the Responsibility
8. Feed Me (I take this to mean both physically and spiritually)
9. Build Me Up
10. Express Your Discontent & Disappointment in Me Without Anger

I would be curious to know what men would want their wives to know and vice versa, that are not included in this list. I encourage you to add them in the comments below.

Lessons to Learn from Same-Sex Couples

A study from San Diego State University suggests that committed same-sex couples are more satisfied with their partners than married heterosexual couples. The study surveyed same-sex couples who had civil unions in Vermont, same-sex couples not in civil unions and married heterosexual couples, over a three-year period. Results of the study showed that same-sex couples reported greater relationship quality, compatibility, intimacy and lower levels of conflict than married couples.

"If you think about same sex couples, you have two women or two men, who were raised in more similar ways. They're both from 'Mars,' both from 'Venus,' and so it's actually not surprising that when it comes to relationship satisfaction they do better," said Esther Rothblum, SDSU professor. "Because of this they may not have to negotiate the huge barriers that men and women do in terms of how they view conflict, provide emotional support or handle childrearing," said Rothblum.

According to the study, same-sex couples were indistinguishable from heterosexual married couples on many other relationship variables, including the number of children, sexual behavior and frequency of contact with their parents with or without their partners. This was the first study to follow same-sex couples in civil unions over time. It was published in the January issue of Developmental Psychology.

Best and Worst Sex Scenes of All Time

From the Daily Bedpost:

Last year, IFC.com and Nerve.com teamed up to compile "The 50 Greatest Sex Scenes in Cinema" history. Great fun (despite the horrible navigation that makes you almost just want to rent each video and fast-forward to the sex scenes yourself). But you know what's even better than the best scenes? "The 50 Worst Sex Scenes in Cinema," of course.

Well, they've done the dirty work again and come up with a doozy of a list. We'd say they're almost all spot on, from Showgirls to Eyes Wide Shut to Wild Things, and they especially nailed it with their choice for #1 worst sex scene of all time. (Can you guess? Here's a hint: it ain't vegan.)

The only one we really take exception with is the Model T sex scene from Titanic (rated #48). Okay, it's not great (that hand slap against the glass is way too staged), but one of the worst? Come on, have they no sense of romance? Plus, it was one of the last times Leonardo diCaprio was pretty-boy hot. That's gotta count for something.