I have been shopping around (so to speak) for relationship advice lately as many people I know have been coming to me (for who knows what reason) to ask me for my thoughts and insight on marriage and the future of love and intimacy as I know it.
Alright, so my suggestions usually fall along the lines of, "Here's What NOT To Do," based on my personal experience with a failed marriage and several failed relationships before and afterwards.
Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites have introduced me to may blog, including the lylah blog. Even though this post is from last year, there are relevant ideas here for any relationship (not just marriage).
I need to preface this by saying that I am not a religious person. Even though I grew up Catholic and spent the majority of my education at Catholic schools, I don't pray or attend church (unless there's a wedding, baptism or funeral to attend) but I do consider myself a spiritual person.
The reason why I bring this up is that I want to tell you about my experience with the Bible. I read many stories from the Bible growing up and got many things from it. I believe that there are many great lessons to be learned within the pages, whether or not one believes in the stories from a faith point-of-view or, as in my experience, if you enjoy quotes and the power of language.
Let's face it. The Bible is well-written and well-edited. With my publishing background and love of literature, I look at the Bible much differently as an adult. There are passages and stories written by different people in this collection, and you would be hard-pressed to find one that is not a good storyteller.
I'm getting off track here. What I do want to say though, before I continue with the point of this post, is that I read the Bible as I would any other book. I read between the lines, I disregard some parts of it while re-read others.
The biblical quotes that are included in this list from the lylah blog are powerful and relevant to the message she's trying to communicate. I encourage you to create your own list (with your partner) to be sure to have a better understanding of his or her needs.
Finally, the list:
10 Things Men Want Women to Take to Heart:
- Don't Try to Change Me
- Respect Me
- Understand
- Pray for Me
- See Me as God Sees Me
- Let Me Be Me
- Let me OWN the Responsibility
- Feed Me (I take this to mean both physically and spiritually)
- Build Me Up
- Express Your Discontent & Disappointment in Me Without Anger
I would be curious to know what men would want their wives to know and vice versa, that are not included in this list. I encourage you to add them in the comments below.
2 comments:
Hmmm, ok, let's see 10 things I want men to understand about me, because I wouldn't dare to speak for all womanhood.
1. Tears do not equal weakness
2. While I am constantly evolving, I won't change for anyone
3. Listen to me, don't always be thinking of a response in your head while I talk
4. When I feel good about me, I feel GREAT about you
5. Me needing time alone isn't about needing to get away from you, just needing to be with ME
6. Manipulation isn't a coping method
7. Double standards make me die a little inside
8. My faith in you is in direct proportion to my faith in God
9. Accept me for my flaw, not despite them
10. And yes, respect me.
Anissa,
These are great things that should be on any person's top ten list. The reason I neglected to share mine originally is because even though this blog is a place where I reveal (way too much) information about myself, I am still a bit guarded about the intimate details.
I do, however, share my top ten (and then some) list with those I am closest to. I'll be adding my own list shortly.
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