The ABCs of Male Bloggers

Because I have always gotten along better with men, I could totally relate to what the guys on today's panel were saying about connecting with women writers and having female friends all their lives. I have connected online with several male bloggers and it was so awesome to see many of them here this weekend.

The fact that we had to come all the way to Chicago to finally hang out in the same room though is rather sad, considering that Matthew of Child's Play lives in San Diego too and Jim of Busy Dad lives just hours away in L.A.

As a single mom, I started to really appreciate and understand my ex-husband a little better after I began to read, from the male perspective, what goes on in their heads and the dynamics within the mom and dad relationship. I have chatted with Busy Dad and Child's Play X2 through Twitter and have really enjoyed getting to know them, both through their blog posts and by communicating directly with them.

Although Avitable is not a daddy blogger, he has a great blog which is very funny and quite raunchy and because he has named his balls and includes stories and pictures of them, it's kind of like the daddy bloggers who share stories of their kids and post pictures of them online!

(L to R: @ChildsPlayX2, @BusyDadBlog, @hip_m0m, @avitable)

Luckily, there was room on the floor so I could sit in the very front for the great panel, that was packed, entitled Vaginally Challenged Bloggers: The Men of BlogHer. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the session. You'll have to head over to the BlogHer stie for the full transcript and live footage for more!!

Avitable: "I'm the only whore here."


BusyDadBlog: "I thought I pioneered the idea of daddy blogging."

"I'd love to get a book contract."

"I'm here because my friends are here."

"I only exploited my kid once."


ChildsPlayX2: "We're trying to break through the glass ceiling of parenting."

"I've always had more female friends."

Many great conversations were sparked in this session and the women who asked questions added much to the topic. We got to talking about the men of our generation being more involved as fathers and more willing to share their stories and talk about their experiences in a more open manner than our own dads may have. We talked about the husbands who do not blog - or share as openly - and understand that the reason that blogging has brought us all together (online and to Chicago this weekend) is because there is a passion and an understanding amongst all of us writers that extends beyond our title (mommy blogger, daddy blogger, humor blogger).

One of the reasons why the men on the panel are here is because they are such great writers. There are many great female writers here as well, of course, but it's great to see men bloggers represented and supported here in this community.

Miss Brit did a wonderful job moderating this panel and I was so very impressed and inspired by the three men "on stage" who were also very sincere, funny and oh yeah, pretty darn cute.

As one audience member stated, "There's nothing sexier than a good dad." Or a set of balls.

Ditching Mr. Wrong

If you're a single woman looking for a lifelong partner, time is precious. If you want to have children, you have a biological deadline and a lot at stake in finding a suitable man. Even if you don't want kids, who wants to waste time on the journey toward a happy and lasting relationship? Yet too many smart women spend months or even years dating men who are clearly wrong for them.

Ditching Mr. Wrong: How to End a Bad Relationship and Find Mr. Right, a new book by Nicholas Aretakis, is for them. Based on interviews with hundreds of singles about relationships and the dating game, Ditching Mr. Wrong is a wake-up call for women who are ready to take a hard look at their relationships and get rid of boyfriends who will never be Mr. Right.

When you buy Ditching Mr. Wrong between March 25th and March 28th, 2009 from the link below, you will get it at a great discount and receive many gifts and bonuses with it, such as the chance to purchase Nicholas Aretakis's other book, No More Ramen: The 20-Something's Real World Survival Guide: Straight Talk on Jobs, Money, Balance, Life, and More, at half-price, exclusive excerpts and downloadable copies of books. Your purchase will automatically enter you into a drawing to win one of 11 books from renowned authors. Remember, this offer is good only for four days!

VIEW THE PAGE, BUY THE BOOK AND CLAIM YOUR GIFTS!

http://rebeccasreads.com/eParties/BookLaunchAretakisDitchingMrWrong.html

From the Rebeccas Reads review of Ditching Mr. Wrong, by Kam Aures:

"I really believe that "Ditching Mr. Wrong" would be a beneficial read to anyone who is having difficulty in finding "Mr. Right." Aretakis's book is fun to read, and the advice given is sound. The information is presented in a clear, straightforward manner, and I think that all single women out there will find very helpful in aiding their relationship decisions."

Millennium Dream

By Steve Goodier

The daughter of comedian Groucho Marx was once denied admittance to an exclusive country club swimming pool with her friends because she and her family were not members. Realizing what had happened, embarrassed officials sent the Marx family an apology and an application to join. Groucho declined the invitation with the comment, "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member."

Someone still tried to smooth over the incident by persuading the comedian to allow an application to be submitted for membership. The country club was embarrassed further when the application was denied. The reason? The Marx family was Jewish and the club was "restricted."

True to form, Groucho wrote back: "My wife is not Jewish. Can she go swimming and let our daughter wade up to her waist?"

I love his use of humor, but Groucho effectively shines a spotlight on the prevalence and absurdity of prejudice. He must have felt, as did Sir Isaac Newton so many years earlier, that we "build too many walls and not enough bridges."

I yearn for a time when we courageously break down those walls that divide and build wide bridges between one another. I long for a super-highway of compassion and acceptance spanning our differences that will unite us as one. As we ease into a new millennium, I dream of an age when people will finally be connected heart to heart and mind to mind.

My greatest desire is that we somehow learn what it means to be family.

Read More...

How Not to Be a Soccer Mom

YouTube better watch out. There's a new video site that's just moved up a notch on my online video list of sites with great resources.

Howcast is an online directory of How-To videos. Here's a few of my favorites, including the How To Not be a Soccer Mom that I first discovered:

Also not-to-miss videos on parenting include:
How Fatherhood Changes Men
How To Put the "final Touches" on Potty Training
How To Reignite Your Sex Life After Having a Baby

Online Dating Profile Pics: What NOT to Wear

Alright, I realize that this is going to come off as me being petty and will most likely offend some of you, especially those who have a profile online, but I have to share.

This isn't about me making fun of anyone in particular (alright, it is), but after ignoring my eHarmony profile for over a week, I finally went over there to check out my latest matches and guess what?

There were over 210 matches waiting for me...and not one single profile caught my attention, except for the fact that I suddenly started talking to the people (by name) in the photos and actually taking notes (yes, taking notes).

Here is what I have learned from the profile pictures that came up on my screen and here's what I would suggest to everyone (male or female) who plans on putting their pictures online (or who has done so already).

Don't upload a mirror shot: You know what they look like. You can actually SEE the camera and sometimes a flash...Get someone to take your photo. Anyone. A neighbor, your mom, the guy at the pharmacy who thinks he's taking your passport photo. Better yet, go in one of those photo booths that gives you four chances to get it right.


Don't include a picture from last Halloween: A potential date is not interested in how you look in disguise. She or he wants to see what YOU look like. On a normal day.

Don't include pictures from the bar: You know the one. You have a beer in your hand and you look laid-back and appear to be someone who knows how to have a good time. What this says to people is, "I like taking photos when I'm under the influence. Wait 'til you see what I look like when I'm WASTED!" Not a good message to be sending...

Please, please, please don't include your children (or anyone else's) in your main profile pic: I have a child and I love kids, but the first impression you give when you include children in your main photo is "I'm looking for a new Mom (or Dad) for these adorable kids." Usually, the kids are the first thing people see, not you.


Please put a shirt on: I really can't comprehend why people include photos where they're not wearing a shirt. Usually, when that happens, it's not flattering. No one wants to see you with your shirt off unless you're at the beach, and you're a Chippendale dancer.

Please remove your hat - and your sunglasses: Again, please refer to #2. A potential partner wants to see what you look like - eyes, hair - or whether you have any underneath the cap.


Don't upload a work photo: I can't even tell you how many doctors I've seen in their scrubs, firefighters I've seen with fires blazing in the background and military men in their uniforms. This all leads back to wanting to see what a potential date looks like outside the office (or place of employment).


Please include a photo where you actually look happy to be alive: I've seen way too many photos of people who can't seem to crack a smile. Pretend you like yourself. Then maybe other people will.

Don't include photos that look like they're 'still shots' from your sex tapes: You know the one - the shirtless, awkward angle and expression on the person's face = CREEPY.

Please don't include major close ups: They're never attractive and typically look like the WANTED posters from the nightly news.


If you're in the military, don't upload photos of you in your camo: You look like every other guy in camo...potential partners want to see what YOU look like, not what you look like when you're ready to head into battle...Unless you approach dating defensively, then I suppose it's OK.

Please do not post photos of yourself EATING (Yes, I did come across this one): Photos of you with your mouth full. Not going to earn any points with the women I know (let's face it, women would NEVER post a photo of themselves eating).

College students / military men - Please don't include your photos that showcase the nudey pictures on the wall behind you: The women who view these photos will not see you, but the pics behind you. And that's probably not going to get you a date. But, then again, you never know.

Please don't include photos of you and your friends: Petty, I realize, but if I see a photo with a bunch of guys, I'm checking out the hottest one of the group, and chances are, it's not the one who's looking for a date.

Don't include photos where you're in full scuba gear: So you like to go diving. Great. Why do I want to see a photo of you underwater, with a full wet suit on and a mask covering your ENTIRE face? I want to see what you look like. This photo only tells me what you like to DO.

Last, but certainly not least, please don't submit your profile to an online dating site WITHOUT a picture. I realize that the above "suggestions" might cause someone to want to pursue the online dating thing with just their personality to get them by. It WON'T happen. We all want to SEE what we're getting into and - as long as the above suggestions are applied - you may have some dating success (of course there are no guarantees).

Good luck. And if you see my profile on line, don't worry. The photos of me wearing a hat and glasses, alongside my son and in our Halloween costumes will be removed soon. I pinkie swear.

11 Step Program for Parents-to-Be

I have been discovering many great Moms who Twitter since joining this amazing group of women a few weeks back. Just yesterday, I found this hilarious post from Real Tech Mom and just had to share. Check out her blog and the 11 Step Program for to Complete Before Having Kids.

For many of us, we've found out - through hands on learning - what it truly is like to be a parent. As funny - and true - as this list is, I don't think anyone is ever really prepared for the changes and challenges that becoming a parent brings.

I teach one hour parenting workshops and a 15-hour course on Redirecting Children's Behavior and am amazed at all of the new and expecting parents who are eager to gain some tools and techniques to use with their children when the time comes.

Classes are scheduled in La Mesa at Java Mama and I'm pleased to announce that there will be additional workshops held in North County as well, at the Babies in Bloom boutique on the border of Oceanside and Vista.

Check out the class schedule or calendar of events for more information. I am also able to cater courses and workshops for your mom's group, PTA or at your place of employment. Contact me to set up a customized program that fits your needs and schedule.

Stay At Home Dad

What else have I missed? With a total of 344,737 views at the time of my discovery, chances are you've probably already seen this. Or heard it. Or both. I love it. I especially enjoy the part where he "straps in" his baby into the car! Hilarious.

BEING DAD

Surprising, hilarious and unexpected insight on dad's experience from pregnancy to delivery featuring 40 dads who survived it. In intriguing accounts by remarkably honest new fathers from all walks of life, all over the US, the common thread of relief these men feel, having recently survived the pregnancy and delivery process, is entertainingly revealed in the personal experiences they share.

Covering everything from how they first found out about the pregnancy right through to the birth, BEING DAD explores a broad range of subjects, including many rarely discussed openly like miscarriage and sex during pregnancy. The film reveals the fears, anxieties and joys that all first time fathers live through and provides the confidence and assurance they seek to face during this exciting new phase of their lives and become more supportive mates.

Also featured is a wealth of additional advice from a number of experts, including an Obstetrician, Family Counselor, Midwife, Childbirth Educators and a Home Birth Facilitator.

While focusing on the Man’s perspective, the film is perfect for expectant couples to view together and can serve as a catalyst for planning and discussions.

The ABCs of Love

The Dictionary of Love by John Stark makes for an excellent gift for loved ones. It's naughty but nice! A note from the editors states just that:

...for the purpose of this book [a word is] defined only in terms of how it relates to he subject of love. In no way is this book an attempt to be salacious or vulgar. Still, it does not beat around the bush...Included are names of people, places, and products identified with love, and when appropriate, modern slang words discovered on the Internet and overheard on public transportation.

From A-Z, these are a few of my favorite words included:

• Afrodesiac (n) a sexy African American male
• bumper sticker (n) a tattoo on a woman's lower back
• carry-on (n) a small overnight bag that doesn't have to be checked in at the airport so that upon arrival lovers can have more time to carry on
• downshifting (vb) to quit a high-stress job in order to have more time with the person one loves
• eye-hump (vb) to seduce someone with one's eyes as she or he walks innocently by
• fifties (n) the last era in which people waited until they were married to have sexual intercourse
• good night's sleep (n) a state of unconsciousness that as one gets older one finds is more satisfying than staying out late or even getting laid
• homeostasis (n) a steady state in the body's internal environment that includes one's heart rate, temperature, and electrolyte balance, all of which are shot to hell when one falls in love.
• in bed (adj) a phrase one adds to the saying inside a fortune cookie when reading it aloud at the table
• Jurassic (adj) a geological term that refers to a period of the Mesozoic era, when dinosaurs ruled the Earth <"I know Ty digs older women but this one's Jurassic.">
• klingons (n) a couple who are disgustingly lovey-dovey, esp. in front of other people
• library (n) a safe, well-lit building where books, reference materials, and periodicals are kept and where people must speak in sexy, hushed tones, which is perfect for picking up dates.
• mate poaching (vb) the act of stealing another's boyfriend or girlfriend
• nice (adj) a. amiable and pleasant; non-argumentative b. descriptive of people from Minnesota
• oompa-loompa vibe (n) a creepy feeling a person gets from a stranger, esp. a blind date or someone who is hitting on him or her
• penis (n) the male external reproductive organ that contains the urethra, through which urine and semen pass, and where some women think men's brains are located.
• quiver (n) the pouch in which Cupid carries his arrows
• red light (n) an automated stoplight that's put up at busy intersections so drivers can check each other out
• sassy tuna (n) a woman who is exceptionally flirty and brazen
• titanic (vb) to go down on a first date as in oral sex
• user-friendly (adj) a person who is known to be promiscuous
• vacancy (n) a neon sign that lovers look for on highways
• wallboard (n) a light building material that has become a substitute for wood or plaster and allows people in apartments and condos to know who's sleeping with whom and what they're into
• XY chromosomes (n) a. in genetics, the 2 chromosomes that determine the sex of an individual; males carry a single X and a single Y chromosome, while females carry 2 XXs and no Y b. when seen under a microscope the X chromosome is much larger than the Y, which would indicate that the female is not just the fairer of the sexes but also the stronger
• yellow (adj) the color of the sun and many varieties of flowers, birds, butterflies, and fruit, as well as sexy road signs such as Curves Ahead, Stop When Flashing, and Slippery When Wet
• zelophilia (n) sexual arousal from feelings of jealousy

With special sections devoted to Types of Love, Fetish Examples, Synonyms for Breasts (and Erections), Swinger Terminology and Vibrators, The Dictionary of Love is the hilarious and complete guide to all things lovely, sexy and arousing. The only thing better is making love!

Laughter is the Best Medicine: Dad's Edition

	Worst Drivers		Dumb Dad of the Year
	Top 10 Things Dads Never Say to Their Wives		Funny Parenting Story
	Funniest Things Dads Tell Their Children		2008 Husband of the Year Awards
	The Tell-Tale Hamster		First Kiss
	The Desperate Dad’s Guide to Getting Some

Courtesy of Great Dad

When Hallmark Just Won't Do

Now, before I continue, I must say that I love Hallmark. However, not all situations or people are worthy of a Hallmark card. And that's where SomeEcards come in handy.

This is a good one to send to a lover if you've discovered that he or she has cheated:

When you care enough to invite an ex-lover to your wedding:

The BEST Father's Day card, ever:

To share with fellow co-workers:

Several of these cards will offend and possibly disturb some individuals. These are the same cards that will make others (such as myself) laugh out loud and want to send them to each and every one that you know. Spread the joy and be sure to leave a comment here with a link to your favorite SomeEcards!

Videos of my Little Guy

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