Seeking Balance

As working parents (we're all working parents) we're always seeking balance, between our role as Mom or Dad, jobs that pay our bills and of course, time with ourselves or our partners. Let's not even talk about our house (which tends to be the last on my list of priorities).

Many mommy bloggers have written about seeking this balance and the guilt one feels when taking time for herself or any time away from her children. The women's movement was intended to move us all forward, but instead, I feel as though it's instilled in each of us the idea that we need to be - or at least strive to be - SuperMom, WonderWife and Woman of the Year. Talk about pressure.

I spend quality time with my son, I work hard and take time for myself and enjoy those special moments with other adults. Do I feel guilty? I used to. These days, I find myself being more relaxed, less stressed and overall, more fulfilled when I don't let the guilt take over. It's there on some occasions but I simply remind myself that I'm a much better mom when I've taken that time for myself, whether it's exercising, reading, or spending the weekend with friends.

Head on over to read what one mom (a.k.a. PhD in Parenting) has done to create more balance in her life and please, share with me what you do to keep yourself centered.

Five Percent

In every relationship, we should keep in mind that each of us needs to give 110%, that way there is no question of someone not doing their part or pitching in. It's never going to be an equal balance of give and take so even better advice is to not keep track at all. Simply give and you will receive (just as many others from history have said).

If you are looking for ways to give more, keep in mind the 5% rule, suggested by Neil Rosenthal, and based on his experience as a marriage and family therapist:

"...Make sure you hold yourself accountable for doing what you say — consistently — over time. Saying or thinking it isn’t enough. You must do it and then continue doing it. That’s what a happy, healthy, committed love relationship requires of all of us. And it sure beats being in a marriage counselor’s office being guided by someone else to do it."

Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Denver and Boulder, specializing in strengthening intimate relationships.

Parenting Workshop Schedule

Join us for one or more of the following Happy Healthy Hip Parenting Workshops held at Java Mama in La Mesa, CA:

All workshops are part of the Positive Parenting Program. We encourage you to come and meet other parents committed to enriching their relationship with a child. There will be an early childhood educator on hand to supervise children in the play area.

Balancing Love & Discipline
Thursday, April 3, 6 - 7:30 pm

Introduces the concept of firm and kind, unconditional love, and the value of more action and less talk.

Handling Sibling Rivalry
Thursday, April 24, 6 -7:30 pm

There is a difference between sibling rivalry and sibling conflict. Learn how to identify and correct each behavior.

The Terrific Twos
Thursday, May 15, 6 - 7:30 pm

Use developmental information and the mistaken goals of power and attention to make this challenging time wonderful.

Parenting Workshops are $30 per person or $45 for two enrollments. Enrollment forms are available via email. Please contact Happy Healthy Hip Parenting with any questions and please subscribe to our weekly newsletter, coming in April and featuring News for Parents to Use.