It's Party Time!

Me Me Me

How would your mother describe you in one word?
Daring.

What is your favorite flower?

Dahlia.

What is the most insane question you've ever been asked?
"Can I be honest with you?"

What word in the English language do you wish you had invented?
Onomatopoeia.

Where would you like to live?
Santa Cruz.

What animal best describes the kind of guy you'd be interested in?
Cougar.

What do you miss about your childhood?
Recess.

What is the main fault in your character?
Thinking out loud.

Who is your favorite historical figure?
Rosa Parks.

Describe how you kiss in one word.
Hungrily.

Finish the sentence: "Happiness is a thing called..."
Love.

Fun, Fashionable & Fruity

Shopping in St. Paul

I leave for St. Paul next Saturday and already I'm preparing for an after December 25th shopping spree. Ever since I started this blog, my mother has been - besides my #1 fan - very helpful when it comes to sending me links and relevant articles that relate to parenting, shopping or could somehow fit in with the content on this site.

Here then is a list that she sent me a while back. I did not forget about it but this time I will have more time to take in the sights and enjoy the recommendations from this compilation:

gifts, jewelry and home accessories

Woodbury-made bath and body products

kitchen accessories and equipment

designer denim

toys

Danish-designed fashions and home accessories

Scandinavian home furnishings, accents and more

stationary and personalized gifts

natural toys and baby care

Latin American-inspired jewelry

children's shoes

The Romeo & Juliet Shops:
gift ideas for any occasion

artist-designed paper, gifts and baby things

Wonderment:
wood toys and creative objects

See you in the Cities!

The Myths of Marriage

I've been more interested in articles pertaining to marriage since mine ended. I don't know if I'll ever remarry or find someone who I will commit to for the rest of my life, but I can't help but think that being prepared - just in case - might not be a bad idea.

Recently I read The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver. As always, there may not be something in this book for everyone and you may not agree completely with what the authors have to say, but there certainly are things in here I found myself nodding in agreement with.

Filled with examples, exercises and interesting data (The determining factor whether wives feel satisfied with the sex, romance, and passion in their marriage is, by 70 percent, the quality of the couple's friendship. For men, the determining factor is, by 70 percent, the quality of the couple's friendship. So men and women come from the same planet after all.), this book was written by the same author that wrote And Baby Makes Three, 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, The Relationship Cure, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, and several others.

I am pleased that I have come across this book and plan on reading it again to remind myself from time to time what is helpful (and harmful) in an intimate relationship.

I'm also happy to share with you information from an article in the December / January issue of Parenting magazine entitled, 6 Marriage Myths, by Fernanda Moore.

Fact or Fiction?

Never go to bed angry.
Having a baby brings you closer.
Spouses should be best friends as well as romantic partners.
Don't worry about your (lack of) sex life.
Don't fight in front of the kids.
Never take your spouse for granted.

Now I won't say that I believe these to be either fact or fiction but the author of this article claims that her successful marriage and those of her friends treated these common words of advice as myths.

What I think is more important than simply ignoring these statements is the fact that having set rules in any long-term relationships is a dangerous thing. People change over time, your relationship evolves into a different - and hopefully stronger - bond, which means that any rules that are set from the beginning aren't necessarily going to apply years down the road.

Let it Snow

Last week, just a day before I left for Toronto, I drove up to the mountains with my son and my mom for a day of playing in the snow. Since I grew up in Minnesota, having a white winter is something that I not only am used to, but miss since living in Southern California for the past eight years. I've taken my son to see the snow in the past, but now that he's old enough to really enjoy it I thought it'd be the perfect opportunity to spend a snow day with Grandma before we visit her and the rest of our family over Christmas.

Now that I've enjoyed snow with the two people who mean the most to me, I can't help but begin to realize how important these simple pleasures are and how years from now we'll be able to look back on that day as a wonderful family memory to recall.

I recently read somewhere that nearly half of the world's population has never seen snow! They really don't know what they're missing.

Here are a few of my favorite photographic or illustrated books that feature snow:

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

Stuffed

One of my favorite Kane/Miller books is Dougal the Garbage Dump Bear by Matt Dray of Australia. It's a photographic collection of stuffed animals and a tale of what happens to them when they get tossed in the dump. Not that you or I would actually throw these plush, stuffed or slightly-worn toys in the garbage, since there are several places that accept these gently-used and much-loved buddies to pass along to others who could use them.

The Salvation Army
Project Night Night
Stuffed Animals for Emergencies (SAFE)

These organizations were listed in the November issue of Wondertime magazine, a wonderful resource for parents.

Gotta Have It

Inky Dink Tees

Sakura Bloom

Company Kids Coupon

Hurry! There's still time to take advantage and save 15% off your entire order at Company Kids. The discount expires December 28th but if you'd like to redeem this coupon, simply click on the logo below.

Bad Mommy

I was reading an article in the November issue of Canadian Family magazine, on guilt. The main illustration on the page shows a name tag that reads, "Hello. My name is Bad Mom." I read it to my son followed by my question to him, "What makes a bad mom?" He said, "Not you. You're not a bad mom." If only he knew how easy it is for him to make my day.

The article discusses just five examples of parental guilt, from breastfeeding to TV but it doesn't cover the plethora of guilt-ridden behaviors and activities that I can honestly say I've experienced, or have had other moms discuss with me.

Going back to work must be the biggest guilt-inducing decision one could make. I know moms who are successful and proud of their accomplishments and the career and yet the guilt is still present. There are also moms who made the decision to stay at home, not returning to work and they too feel guilt.

I can only speak for the fellow women in my life but I have little doubt that there are men out there who experience parental guilt to the same degree.

One of the parental workshops that I offer is Balancing Work and Family, an important concept for parents to remember as they become busier and busier as the children in their homes get older.

I too need to remind myself more often about putting my work down at the end of the day and focusing on my son during our time together. I have more New Year's resolutions to put down in writing, but this is my first.

The Best Medicine

I have to agree that laughter is the best medicine but sometimes it's hard to know when it is or is not appropriate to laugh because of something a child has done, or said. Too often I have found myself laughing out loud when my son has done or said something so cute or utterly ridiculous. I say too often because there are several instances when he gets upset and tells me that "it's not funny."

Despite these rare occasions, my son has quite the sense of humor. But he's not laughing tonight.

Tonight is the first night that I've been away from my son when he hasn't been with his father. He's been with either one of us every day since he was born. My mom is staying with him for the next few nights and I know exactly how she must have felt when he called me up tonight, crying and asking for me.

He goes to school tomorrow where he'll be asked to join in the usual weekday routine. I'll feel much better when he's surrounded by his friends and teachers, instead of at the house, thinking about my not being there.

Adjusting to changes can be difficult for young children and tensions arise when they're expected to understand the concept of time when all they want is their Mom or Dad to kiss them goodnight, or right Now!

I'll be falling asleep tonight in an over-sized bed, thinking about my son and how I wish I were lying next to him. He's not going to remember this trip years from now, or will he?

I still - to this day - remember, vividly, not wanting to stay with my Aunt and Uncle when my parents left my sister and I at their house while they were away. We must have been there for more than one night but all I remember is standing at the edge of the bed - refusing to climb in to go to sleep - and crying. I wanted my own bed, my own house, and my Mom to be there when I woke up.

I also remember inviting my cousin over for a sleepover when we were in elementary school. I believe it was about midnight when my parents finally got her in the car to take her home because she was so homesick.

I appreciate the fact that my parents helped me to become more independent, learn the importance of trust, and to have faith that they will always be there for me, even if they aren't always there.

I have a feeling that my son will be just as upset when Grandma leaves next week as he was tonight and I'm pretty sure that not that long afterwards he'll ask me when she's coming to stay once again.

Toys for Tots

The countdown continues, as do the hip, happening toys & other goodies to add to your gift-list.

Matching Game


Stove & Washing Machine


Puzzle Tables


Melamine Tableware


One-of-a-Kind Puzzles


Play Tent

Shop 'til you drop!

Words of Wisdom

Everyday I Have My Child to Raise Over Again

by Diane Loomans

Every day I have my child to raise all over again.
I will build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I will finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I will do less correcting, and more connecting.
I will take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I will care to know less, and know to care more.
I will take more hikes, and fly more kites.
I will stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I will run through more fields, and gaze at more stars.
I will do more hugging, and less tugging.
I will see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I will be firm less often and affirm much more.
I will model less about the love of power, and more about the power of love.

Delightful

I've managed to distract myself from holiday shopping momentary, clicking through a few links, adding one or two (or three) items to my cart and somehow ended up purchasing some delightful products for my home office.

I realize that I have a long list of friends and family to purchase items for yet and if anyone knew how organized I really am (my gift-giving list is in an Excel file which I'm happy to share with you if you ask nicely), they'd wonder why on earth I haven't finished this annual task by now.

I like shopping - ok I LOVE LOVE LOVE it - and I also enjoy a good deal - despite what the price tags may show ; ) - so I look online for discount codes, coupons and exclusive deals to help cut the cost of shipping or that offer me a percentage off the bottom line.

Would you like to have access to these same coupon codes? Provide me with your email address and I'll send you regular updates that will provide you with the best deals (that I've come across) on the web. I'd be delighted to share!

Cool Threads

It happened here in San Diego first. You just missed it, but you still have the opportunity to discover the hottest designers, the hippest musicians and the trend artists of this generation as The Fashion & Lifestyle Show, THREAD heads to Seattle and San Fran before the grand finale in Vegas in February.

Start planning your trip now. I mean NOW. I'll see you on the strip.