Showing posts with label first dates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label first dates. Show all posts

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Second First Date

After a successful and fun meet 'n greet, my new male friend picked me up last night for our first official date. Let me step back a few days though to share with you how the week went.

Our meet 'n greet was last Sunday and I had a really good time. I thought he had a good time as well. In fact, he had mentioned a "next time," so I assumed that we'd communicate afterward about seeing each other again. Three days went by without hearing from him and I was a bit concerned. I was confused. I was disappointed. It's not easy to get back into the dating scene, especially when it involves searching through numerous online profiles, trying to determine how to reach out to those who peak my curiosity.


On Wednesday afternoon, he finally called but, because I was at work, I wasn't able to take the call. He did leave a message and I found myself laughing out loud when I listened to it. He joked about how he had read a Guy's Rule Book on Dating and noted that it had officially been 72 hours since our first meeting so it was now the opportune time to follow up. Then he simply asked if he could take me to dinner on Saturday and left it at that.

I had to arrange for a babysitter in order to confirm that I could go out but that only took a few minutes of text messaging to schedule. One of my son's former teachers who lives in our neighborhood agreed to come by to hang out with him so I could go on this date. She's married with no children of her own (yet) and is someone my son feels completely comfortable with. What would I do without teachers like her?

Saturday arrives and it's amazingly hot out. I'm sweating already because I'm a little nervous and I'm not quite sure what to wear. I change my outfit a record number of times before finally deciding on a black top and jean skirt. Casual for a first date, I realize, but since I was overdressed for our meet 'n greet, I figured I could get away with it.

I had no idea where he would be taking me but this is what has always intrigued me about dates. Normally, I would be a bit concerned about getting inside someone's car without knowing where our final destination would be, but I eagerly climbed inside when he finally came to pick me up.

He was a few minutes late and didn't mention it when he pulled into the parking lot but since I'm notoriously late for just about everything, I really can't hold that against him.

Once again, he impressed me. We drove up the coast and went to a restaurant overlooking the ocean. It was a beautiful night so we sat outside, enjoyed a few glasses of wine with our meal and laughed, a lot.

We played the back and forth questions game and got to know each other a bit more. Not once was there an awkward moment in the conversation - that is until I asked about why he signed up with eharmony. There was a moment of silence before he revealed that he was looking for a partner; someone he could go home to at the end of the day and share his life with.

He asked the same question of me, and since it was only fair, I admitted that I wasn't quite sure what my goal was or is with eharmony. So far, I met a nice man who truly knows how to treat a woman and plans great date nights and I'm enjoying it. I'm not sure where this will lead or if I will meet more men to spend time with but I'm having fun, I'm making up for lost time and feeling good about myself and the man I'm getting to know. I don't really know if there's reason to think beyond that as far as the future is concerned. I've always been the type of person who lives in the moment, enjoys just being where I am and who I am with.



And I did enjoy where I was last night and who I was with. We went to a concert afterwards (I love live music) and he treated me the entire night, something I was not used to at all. We danced, laughed, touched each other innocently, but often, and when I cut the night short (I was expected home by midnight), I truly did regret having to end the date.

When he dropped me off at home, he got out of the car to walk me to the door. I embraced and thanked him for the fabulous night. I kissed him softly on the lips before saying goodnight and moments later, I fell asleep, smiling.

I thought about him as soon as I woke up, still smiling.


That was the first date that I've been on in a really, long time. In fact, he even asked me during dinner about the last date I had. Sadly, I couldn't even recall when that might have been, or with who. But what I do know is that I will remember last night's date for a long time to come and I look forward to our next.

More Dating Tips:
Dating Tips and Advice

About.com: Dating

Your Romance Guide

Relationship Advice

Thursday, June 5, 2008

First Date: How to Avoid Having it Be Your Last

Rules for a First Date:
  1. Do not talk about your ex (girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse) in detail. The person you're with wants to know about you, not about how your last relationship went sour.
  2. Do not talk about your children. The person you're with wants to know more about you, not about the adorable thing your son/daughter said this morning or how many kids you plan on having.
  3. Do not talk about the relationship between you and your parents. The person you're with wants to get to know you, and does not want to hear about how your parents discouraged you from pursuing your childhood dreams.
  4. Do not talk about your pets. The person you're with doesn't want to hear about how you spend most of your time talking to your dog/cat/goldfish.
  5. Do not talk about money. This is the first date and the person you're with does not want to know that they make less money than you or that you spend more than you make.
  6. Do not talk about marriage. The person you're with is not ready to hear about how your first marriage went wrong. They also don't want to hear about how you've sworn that you'd never make that same mistake again.
  7. Do not talk about how long it's been since you've had sex. If you are simply looking to hook up with someone, let's be honest. This is not a date - it's foreplay.
  8. Do not talk about love at first sight. There will never be a second date if you go this route.
  9. Do not talk about your religious beliefs or how you feel about abortion or the death penalty. These are conversations that are best left for second or third dates (if you get that far).
  10. Do not listen to me. What do I know about dating or relationships? Every relationship I've ever been in has ended. If you have any real advice, please send it my way.
If you have first date horror stories, or laugh-out-loud details to share, post them in the comments, or over at Dad's House. You may just win this great writing CONTEST.