What it Takes to be a Good Parent

"Children from families with high expectations and values tend to find each other, have good marriages and continue to produce quality children despite what the environmental influences may be."

This is a statement made by Dr. Val Farmer before he outlines his ideas behind what it takes to be a good parent in today's culture.

While I question Dr. Farmer's definition of "quality children" (vs. non-quality children?), I do agree with many of his suggested ingredients for successful parenting. Below is my edited version of his list:

1. Be a good example.

2. Be attentive to each child's needs.

3. Accept and respect each child as individuals. Help them become responsible in their decision making. Respect their basic dignity as developing human beings with minds and lives of their own.

4. Know your values and pass on those values while children are young. 

5. Bond your children to those who share similar values and beliefs. Involvement in community will be of great support to family life.

6. Be consistent, firm and fair in your discipline. Teach responsibility and the work ethic through family duties. 

7. Minimize conflict and criticism within the family. 

8. Accept and tolerate individual preferences while focusing attention on important values and principles.

9. Teach them to respect your authority as well as outside authority.

10. Teach them to show kindness, appreciation and tolerance for others from different races, religions and in all walks of life. Help them learn to give service to others and the community.

11. Help them develop a joy of reading and learning. 

12. Have fun in the family. Create memories. Do things together that are special and different. Celebrate birthdays, holidays and special days with gusto and enthusiasm. Work and play together. Use those moments to love, teach and cherish them.

13. Provide gentle guidance and opportunities for your children to meet and develop friendships. Friendships are laboratories for learning about morality and the give-and-take in relationships.

14. Help them develop their talents and abilities. Their sense of self will grow as they explore their likes and dislikes and take pleasure in their accomplishments. Attend and support their activities. School success and extra-curricular activities build self-worth.

15. Have family meals together - it is important. The food and family interaction nurtures more than the body. It is a time of sharing and bonding.

16. Love them and encourage them.

20 Questions

Normally, I would think of the question and answer game when I hear "Twenty Questions," but from this point forward, I will participate in a different question and answer exercise now that I've been introduced to this set of questions from Marc and Angel.

Marc and Angel recommend that you ask yourself these 20 questions each week to maximize your potential:

1. What Did I Learn Last Week?
2. What Was My Greatest Accomplishment Over the Last Week?
3. Which Moment From the Last Week Was Most Memorable and Why?
4. What's the Number 1 Thing I Need to Accomplish This Week?
5. What Can I Do Right Now To Make This Week Less Stressful?
6. What Have I Struggled With in the Past That Might Also Affect the Upcoming Week?
7. What Was Last Week's Biggest Time Sink?
8. Am I Carrying Any Excess Baggage into The Week That Ca Be Dropped?
9. What Have I Been Avoiding That Needs to Get Done?
10. What Opportunities Are Still on the Table?

Read the remaining ten questions on the original post over at Marc and Angel Hack Life

You may also enjoy: 

10 Things We All Must Figure Out for Ourselves

26 Life Lessons Learned by Age 26

40 Positive Effects of a TV Free Week

The 30 Most Satisfying Simple Pleasures Life Has to Offer

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Schedule of a Single Mom:

6:30 am

Alarm goes off. Mom showers and gets dressed and ready for work.

7:00 am

Four-year old wakes up, goes potty, heads to kitchen table for breakfast. Climbs down from his chair to wash his hands.

7:15am

Four-year old finishes eating & playing. Heads to family room to play some more. Mom spends quality time with son.

7:45 am

Son gets dressed while Mom puts lunches together. Son watches PBS kids.

8:15 am

Mom and son brush teeth, pack up belongings, apply sunscreen, turn off lights and lock door.

8:45 am

Mom and son arrive at first day of Summer Camp. Walk around campus together and check out classroom.

9:00 am

Son says quick goodbye without looking at Mom. Mom stands at doorway watching son interact with new teachers and friends. Mom fights back tears of both joy and sorrow. Realizes she won't see her son for over 48 hours.

9:10 am

Mom arrives at work. Gets down to business.

4:39 pm

Mom heads out of the office to get to meeting with client.

5:10 pm

Mom arrives ten minutes late. Orders first coffee of the day.

5:15 pm

Mom meets with client whom she charges by the hour.

6:30 pm

Mom realizes that she's extended the meeting by fifteen minutes. Packs up belongings and says goodbye to client.

6:35 pm

Mom heads to grocery store where she is surrounded by too many childless couples making out in the aisles. Vows to never grocery shop with future partners. Ever.

7:05 pm

Mom arrives home. Has dinner in front of computer.

8:00 pm

Mom checks email and responds to several inquiries.

9:00 pm

Mom calculates her expenses and realizes she doesn't charge enough to cover her costs.

9:25 pm

Mom realizes that donations can help cover the costs to make up for the discounts offered to parents who are financially challenged.

1:00 am

Mom heads to bed feeling good about helping parents enrich their relationship with their children.

Robot Mom

My son is into robots lately. I brought him into the office with me today where he made a giant robot (his size) out of paper and Scotch® tape. He's quite the little inventor.

Today - perfect timing - we also received a copy of a book I bought for him called Mama Robot, written by Davide Cali and illustrated by AnnaLaura Cantone. Originally written in Italian, the text was translated by Marcel Danesi (published by Tundra Books).

The artwork is the first thing that captured my attention. A combination of sketches and digital images leap from the page and require a second look (there's a small key carried by the narrator on the first page and real silverware on the table setting).

There are also subtle details in the drawings that most readers won't think twice about but those that have keen observation skills will giggle over (the coffee mugs as the robot mom's breasts and the small grommets falling from the robot dog's behind on the last page).

As a single, working mom, I can imagine that my son has a lot in common with the little boy in the story. His mom is always working, always at her desk and he's continuously bored and wanting her attention.

He decides to make a new mom - Mama Robot - and talks about all the great things that would come of it: Mama Robot would never be too busy to spend time with me! She would never make me brush my teeth. She'd let me stay up late to watch scary movies and would never make me tidy up my room.

Our young protagonist finally realizes that he can't quite cuddle with Mama Robot and she doesn't smell quite the same as his real mom and so, he decides to take her apart and create a new companion. Moms are, after all, irreplaceable.

This is a wonderful book for parents and children, as it serves as a powerful reminder of what's important: quality time which truly is priceless.